Beauty and Bates
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: Dr. Anna Smith works at a private research firm. Tasked with delivering a research update to their chief investor, she travels to French wine country. There she meets John Bates, reclusive investor. Heavy snows trap them together in the house long enough to realize that they may never want to be apart.
1. Prologue: Soulmates

We have calcium in our bones. Iron in our veins.

Carbon in our souls. And nitrogen in our brains.

93 percent stardust with souls made of flames.

We are all just stars that have people names.

-Nikita Gill

 _I read that my first year at Uni. I loved it because it my mother thought science was against God and my stepfather said women shouldn't work in the sciences._

 _I wanted to prove them both wrong._

 _What are we but stardust and wonder, the universe studying itself?_

 _That's why I wanted to work in medicine._

 _Never as a practitioner. I couldn't bear the look on someone's face when I tell them there's nothing I can do. More than that I couldn't bear the never-ending hope dashed by the reality that life is terminal. After all we do, after all we sacrifice, after the lost hours of sleeping, eating, and socializing we give to try and extend life by even a minute longer we'll lose._

 _That's why I went into research. There I can find something new everyday. I give that hope to someone else and then work. I don't see the tears or the sorrow of facing reality. I live in a land of hopeful dreams._

 _I just didn't know I was the one deluding myself._

 _After all I've given up to be where I am I only realized it when none of that mattered any longer._

 _Only after I met him._

 _What else are you supposed to think when you find someone who truly understands? Someone who, when you look in their eyes, you see that spark? Honestly, in all the years I ever thought I knew what love meant I never expected it to feel like this does. How do you describe the meeting to two souls?_

 _There's a belief out there, the "scientific" explanation of soul mates that says maybe we feel connected to one person more than another because they're made of the stuff that was closest to the stuff that made us. As a scientist I think it's the closest I ever came to a reason for why we feel a profound relationship with some people over others._

 _Perhaps why, when I look in his eyes, I see my soul reflected there. Something deeper than just a surface level comprehension of my thoughts. This is someone who, on a level deeper than blood or even genetic code, responds to my needs without a thought. This is the other half of me._

 _He is the other half of me._


	2. Once Upon a Dream

She adjusted the knob on the side of the microscope and then laughed to herself.

"You're doing it again."  
She looked up at the dark-haired woman sitting across the bench. "Doing what, Mary?"

"Laughing to yourself while using a microscope." Mary raised an eyebrow, "I don't remember them being particularly humorous instruments."

"It's not the microscope, per se."

"Then what because Tom and Henry aren't here to leave you in stiches."

"It's the joke that, in class, you'd look in one and adjust the knob before going 'hm' and then pretend to see something before handing it to the person next to you and hoping they saw something you didn't." The woman tucked loose hair behind her ear, "Just a funny memory."

"I'll take your word for it."

The woman stopped, frowning at Mary, "Don't tell me you don't have good memories of school."

"I never said I didn't. Just not when it came to microscopes." Mary adjusted on her stool, noting something in her perfect handwriting in the lab book. "I'm surprised you like them, or science at all since you almost lost all that beautiful blonde hair of yours in that little fire you made with a Bunsen burner."

"It was an accident."

"We might've called you 'Bald Anna' if things went differently."

"But they didn't." Anna looked back at the eye scope, "Uni was fun. It's how you met Matthew."

"That's a different kind of fun." Mary snorted, "A kind of fun you keep refusing to have."

"Just because I don't like the idea of you setting me up with Tony's friend." Anna sat up, "What was his name, Gaston something?"

"Green, like the actress but no relation… unfortunately."

"He's got a nasty personality."

"He's got a big house. If you'd come to the party he held there you'd have seen it for yourself… and his car collection."

"What do they say about men with big houses and cars again? If I remember correctly it's not a particularly nice reference to the size of significant male anatomy." Anna pursed her lips and Mary waved at her.

"Matthew's got a big house."

"He inherited that."

"Point still stands."

"Not when Green shows off pictures of his house. He's so proud of it and his money. It's disgusting."

"Money's not disgusting Anna."

"Throwing it about like it's all that matters is. He wants to rub it in everyone's face and I detest that kind of behavior."

"To each their own."

"Then let him be his own and leave me be about it." Anna made a note in her book, "I'm happy being single if I don't have to date people like him."

"You know what they say about kissing frogs."

"I do but I also know that I work with frogs for a living and the nicer they look on the outside the more likely you are to be poisoned on contact. I know what kissing too many frogs could do to my prospects. Not worth the risk."

"You can't be so picky."

"Better picky than dead or disappointed, Mary."

"Those are not synonymous."

"Let's put it this way," Anna shifted on her stool, "I'd rather risk the sweet release of death kissing the line of Amazonian frogs in that tank over there than accept a blind date arranged by you."

"Prefer the sweet release to poor conversation?"

"Something like that." Anna checked the clock, "Bollocks I've got a meeting with your dad in ten minutes."

"The lift takes literally a minute to get you to his floor."

"Yes," Anna shrugged her way out of her lab coat, "But I have to print out those reports for him."

"Oh shit," Mary hurried to her console as Anna logged in to her own computer, "I'll help you."

"They promised us new printers a year ago."

"I wouldn't bring that up in the meeting." Mary typed furiously and waited a moment before continuing, "I think I have my sections all ready. Tom and Henry finished theirs last night."

"Go. I have to add a note to mine." Anna scanned hers a moment before submitting to print. "And now we pray this thing doesn't decide that today it's going on undeserved vacation."

"Speaking of vacation," Mary switched her focus from the pages creeping out of her printer to Anna, "When are you going on Sabbatical?"

"How'd you know I was thinking about it?"

"I took a message from a very nice man with some interestingly accented English." Mary leaned on the wall, "When were you going to tell me you were thinking of exchange to Hong Kong?"

"If I made an actual decision, Mary," Anna pulled out the printed pages, counted them, and stapled them together before sliding them into a folder. "I sent out some feelers to see what was up. I haven't committed to anything or even said I was guaranteed taking time off. It was just a spur of the moment thought. Nothing more than that."

"I don't know why I need to remind you, but if you want a vacation, taking one to work in Hong Kong doesn't count. It's not time off if you're just going to work at another research lab for six months. Sabbatical is time to strip to your bikini on a beach with men pumped full of testosterone who want to spend their nights shagging you and their days rubbing sun lotion on your back."

"I'm not really into men trying to look like John Cena."

"Everyone's into John Cena." Mary grabbed her pages, "They might be a little streaked but they're fine."

"Perfect." Anna grabbed the pages, sorted them, and checked her watch. "I'm going to be late."

Anna tucked the folder under her arm and dodged out of the lab as a lab tech came through the door. She jogged to the elevators, taking a corner as carefully as possible in her heels, only to have the doors close on her. Anna checked the indicator next to the doors and watched it slowly crank its way upward. Her eyes darted to the door indicating the stairs, back to the elevator, and then she was through the door to the stairs.

Griping her heels in one hand and the folder in the other, Anna started up the stairs as quickly as she could go. Cold metal hit her feet and Anna gritted her teeth against it as the ringing thud of her weight on the metal rang through the shaft. She tried to even her breathing and keep her pace constant but by five floors up she was sweating.

Almost bursting through the doors at the tenth floor Anna wished she kept her lab coat to hide what she hoped were not overly obvious sweat tracks on her shirt. She ran her feet over the carpet for a minute before pulling her legs behind her to slip her heels back on. Shaking herself Anna arranged the folder under her arm, trying to control her breathing, and walked to the large, glass-walled, office at the end of the corridor.

Etched into the glass wall next to the door was the name 'Robert Crawley' and inside the office, at a large black desk, sat the man himself. He wore a tweed suit, kept his gray hair controlled but not slathered in gel, and enjoyed an extra helping at a meal about twice a week. He looked up as Anna knocked on the glass and waved her in with a smile plastered over his face.

"Anna, how are you?" He stood, shaking Anna's hand and she tried to hide her cringe at the probability of her hand being either clammy or sweaty… and quite possibly both. "I'm sorry to interrupt the work you're doing. I know it's important and every second you're here is a second away from a breakthrough."

"It's necessary to hold ourselves accountable. Not everyone is as fascinated by the cell regeneration on the micro scale as I am. Some people need a little more definitive proof of solid investment reward." Anna handed the folder over and closed her eyes to berate herself a moment at the handprint on the paper material.

If Robert saw it he said nothing. He opened the folder and drew out the pages, scanning the initial reports and flicking to a few of the graphs before nodding. "Seems like you're taking some interesting strides down in the labs."

"Mary and I think we could have something as soon as next month. The tests look promising and we want to move to animal experiments by the end of next week." Anna took the seat Robert pointed to, perching on the edge. "We'll need all the right approvals of course but I've got high hopes for this."

"Then I'll be excited for you to tell our investor that." Robert closed the folder as Anna coughed.

"Sir?"

"I need you to take a copy of our reports to our chief investor."

"I'm just the scientist on this sir, not a public speaker."

"No, no, no," Robert laughed, "I'm not asking you to speak at the shareholders meeting, Anna. I'm asking you to visit our chief investor on your project. Technically he's the reason the project can even exist."

"And we give him reports?"

"Normally I do but this year I had to cancel my visit because I'm going to be trapped in New York for the medical conference and held hostage by my wife's mother." Robert shuddered, "Two weeks living in the same house with that woman'll kill me."

"So you're sending me, sir?"

"Yes." Robert handed the folder back, "I deliver all the reports personally to him so he knows exactly how we're using his investment to further our medical research."

"If it's not too impertinent sir, why me and not Mary or Tom or Henry? They're all just as informed on the project as I am and Henry might even be more qualified than I am to speak about it. The latest breakthrough was his."

"Henry's gone on holiday to Spain and we won't get him back until after I've returned. Tom's busy…" Robert ground his teeth, "Taking a vacation to the Caribbean with Sybil, much to my distress and that of my ulcer. And Mary can't go because Matthew's whisking her away to Paris, but don't tell her. It's a surprise."

"And because I'm the only one without a vacation request-"

"I know it seems like punishment to be the last one standing Anna but I promise it's not. What it is, is an all expenses paid visit to an investor. I've got the whole thing settled for you to go without a hitch and there's a bonus for doing my job when I can't." Robert opened his hands and shrugged, "I'm sorry but after everyone else is gone you're the only one I trust on this… and to handle the company card."

Anna nodded, "I understand sir."

"Anna, I _am_ sorry about this and I wouldn't spring it on you last moment except under extreme circumstances. He changed his schedule at the last minute and I adapted to it before I realized I stretched myself too thin." Robert worked his jaw, "Honest truth, I was hoping that my wife would let me out of the sodding New York conference but it seems she doesn't accept this as a necessary miss. And I know she thinks I'm just trying not to see her mother… no matter how true that is."

"Can't upset Cora, sir." Anna nodded her head, "Where exactly am I going then, sir? You make it seem like a considerable trip in and of itself."

"It can be." Robert pulled open a drawer and rifled through it, "He lives in Champagne country, in France. You'll be taking the train to Paris and then drive to Champagne. He lives a little in the bush, if you know what I mean, and it can be a difficult to find. But the little village near where he lives has a lot of friendly people who all know about the house so they'll give you directions if you get lost. They make fun of me every time I ask but it's worth it not to get lost there."

"I speak French, sir."

"I know, another reason why you're going." Robert smiled to himself as he pulled the documentation and the tickets from his desk and handed them to her. "Here are the financial reports and the lab documentation as well as your tickets and the company card."

"Thank you, sir." Anna hefted the pile, sifting it in her hands. "I still don't know if I'm completely qualified for this."

"You're one of the most qualified people I know." Robert stood and Anna did too, juggling the contents in her hands to shake his. "It's why I made you head of the lab."

"I hope you're not using that as a reminder of why I should be 'hopping to' on this." Anna winced at her potentially ill-advised joke but Robert laughed.

"No. I'm sending you because I trust you." He leaned forward like he was about to whisper a secret to her, "Just don't go too crazy on that card."

"Wouldn't dream of it sir." Anna took her hand back, holding the folders, "I won't let you down."

"Thought never entered my mind." Robert put his hands in his pockets. "And remember, enjoy yourself. It's not all business."

"I'll keep that in mind sir." Anna walked to the elevator, feeling a bit in a daze as she pressed the button to descend.

"Anna!" She turned to see Robert coming out of his office, hand to his forehead, "Sorry my mind's everywhere and I forgot to tell you who you're meeting."

"You said he's our chief investor sir. That's Mr. Blake."

"No, not our chief shareholder… well, technically Mr. Blake is the third largest holder after myself and… never mind," Robert put out both hands, trying to slow himself down, "His name's John Bates."

"John Bates?" Anna thought a minute, "I've never heard of him."

"He likes his privacy. That's why I meet with him quarterly to discuss the direction of the research and the work we do. He doesn't like public much."

"Reclusive?"

"He likes his privacy." Robert snapped his fingers, pointing at Anna, "That's all. Or it should be… anything else I'll put in an email."

"Alright sir." Anna entered the elevator as it dinged open, "I won't let you down."

"Never assumed you could." Robert waved her off and Anna leaned against the back wall, trying to get her mind around what just happened.

Anna reached her lab, still holding all the reports and the travel itinerary, and set them on her desk as Mary looked up from her work. She raised an eyebrow as Anna pushed her chair back and forth, staring into the distance. Mary set her work down and sat on the edge of Anna's desk, tapping on the edge to get her attention.

"Did someone just shoot your dog?"

"What?"

"You look shell shocked, dear." Mary folded her arms over her chest, "What's wrong?"

"Your dad wants me to go to France to meet with an investor." Anna took a deep breath, holding it a moment before releasing, "He's sending _me_ to meet with an investor and discuss our work."

"That means he's got a lot of faith in you. I don't see the problem." Mary paused, "Why isn't he sending me?"

"He said you were busy."

"Oh," Mary groaned, "Matthew wanted to go to Hampshire for something. I was trying to block it out."

Anna bit her tongue to keep from saying Hampshire was a ruse. "Don't like Hampshire?"

"He always wants to go on a tour of that ghastly castle there and mopes when we can't get tickets or some such nonsense. I don't think I could take a week of him being gutted he didn't get to touch some expensively ornate staircase in a castle with too many bedrooms."

"We do what we can for those we love." Anna blinked and started shifting the files, inspecting them and the ticket details. "I love my job so I'm going to Champagne to meet with a recluse who apparently gives a lot of money to our work."

"You're meeting with John?" Mary clapped her hands together, "Tell him I said hi."

"Wait," Anna looked up at Mary, "If you know him how come you can't rearrange your trip?"

"I don't know him well, if we're being honest. Haven't seen him since Sybil graduated Uni." Mary thought a moment, "He was in the middle of a divorce then."

"Sounds rough."

"Best thing that could've happened to him really." Mary shuddered, "That woman was a terror. I hated even talking to her."

"You don't sound impressed."

"Mother called her Mrs. Mephistopheles."

"That bad?"

"Worse, most days." Mary shook her head, "We had them for Christmas one year and she got so drunk she vomited all over Grandmother's dress. We weren't exactly drinking high proof spirits either. She did this on wine."

"Sounds awful."

"He was so embarrassed, she was soused, and Grandmother was furious. Every year Papa tried to invite him after that he politely refused."

"I could understand." Anna checked the dates on the ticket, "Well, it'll be a few days so I guess I could manage it."

"He's not a monster, Anna. He just likes his privacy."

"What about the house?"

"Never been." Mary hopped off the desk, "But Papa says it's a pretty magnificent place."

Anna sucked the inside of her cheek and turned to her computer, rearranging her schedule to suit the trip she now found taking over her February.


	3. Past the Point of Beauty

Anna checked the address again and sighed. She opened the door of the car and got out, walking across the road to the slight woman haggling with the man selling vegetables. Anna pulled her coat around her as icy wind whipped through the tiny street. With teeth practically chattering she waited until the woman finished speaking to the man before tapping her on the shoulder.

"Yes?" The woman had an accent that did not sound particularly native to the region, or even as a native speaker but Anna responded in French.

"I'm a little lost and wondering if you might help me find the address I'm looking for."

"British?" The woman smiled and switched to English, "I could hear it in your voice and it makes me so happy."

"Why's that, if I can ask?" Anna folded her arms, trying to make herself smaller to feel more heat.

"I'm from London. Living here sometimes makes me a little homesick and it's nice to hear a bit of home."

"You're right, I am English but I'm not a Londoner." Anna smiled back at the woman, "I'm from Yorkshire. Scarborough, to be exact."

"I took holiday there once. Beautiful town."

"Thank you." Anna pulled the address from her pocket, "I don't want to take your whole day so I'll get to the point. Like I said, I'm lost and looking for this address. I had GPS trying to find it but I think I missed the road and my phone died so I'm kind of in a spot."

"Happens a lot here." The woman studied the address, "I can take you there."

"I'd hate to inconvenience you."

"It's no trouble," The woman checked her basket, "That's where I live."

"Oh, then you live with John Bates?"

The woman laughed, "Technically yes. I run his house." She extended a free, gloved hand, "Phyllis Baxter."

"Anna Smith," Anna shook back, "So lucky I found you."

"Yes it is." Phyllis pointed up the street, "My car's just there. If you follow me in yours then we'll be there in minutes."

"Thank you." Anna hurried back to her car, cranking the heat as she waited for Phyllis to get in her vehicle and started up the road.

They turned off on a path Anna swore had not been there before and wound deeper into the forest before the drive opened to reveal a manor house of cream stone. Anna felt her jaw hit the steering wheel but followed Phyllis around the house and parked in the large garage.

As the large doors closed down behind them a young man hurried out, taking the keys from Phyllis before opening Anna's door, "Anything your car needs?"

"No," Anna tried to smile but she was too shocked to respond, "Thank you."

"I'm Andrew, if there's anything I can do for your car, don't hesitate to holler. I'm here to help in any way I can."

"Thank you but I think it's good. It's a rental." Anna pulled her briefcase out, leaving her other bag in the car.

"Then I'll keep it looking fresh for you." He smiled and took her keys.

Anna stood in a bit of a daze until Phyllis tapped her on the shoulder, "You're French is rather excellent. Are you fluent?"

"I'd like to think I am. Why'd you ask?"

"You slip in and out of it so naturally. My husband and I've lived here for years and we still struggle."

"I've been speaking French almost my whole life. My stepfather was French and insisted we learn. A language we shared with him and him alone." Anna tried to hide the twitch in her jaw.

"That's something, passing on a skill like that. Especially to children." Phyllis led her out of the garage and toward the house.

"It certainly was something." Anna turned to Phyllis, "Did I hear you right, you have a husband here with you?"

"Yes," Phyllis ducked her head but she was beaming from ear to ear. "He's actually the butler in the house. Handles everything Mr. Bates needs. He'd actually know if you were coming."

"Is Mr. Bates expecting me? I wasn't sure if Mr. Crawley had told it. It was all rather last minute."

"He told us he would be taking a meeting this afternoon with someone from Grantham Labs. I assume that's you since no one else ever comes out this far looking for Mr. Bates."

"That's me." Anna held her arms out from her body, "Is Mr. Bates here now?"

"He's out walking his property. He likes his quiet and he likes nature so he takes a walk every morning." Phyllis shivered, "Though I don't know how he's handling this cold. It digs into the bones."

"It might even snow if I'm unlucky." Anna covered her eyes and looked up at the graying sky. "They were saying on the broadcast to expect some this afternoon."

"I hope it be too much of an inconvenience for you on your trip."

"I do too." Anna shrugged, "But we're all at the mercy of the weather aren't we so if I am there's not much else I can do."

"But what we can do we'll do our best to do." Phyllis pointed to a door near the side of the house and led Anna inside.

Before stepping foot inside the house of John Bates Anna thought she knew what large was. She had seen grand houses and castles on school trips and holidays. A few of their investors held house parties at major holidays to celebrate or invited the company to weekends as they toasted successes and breakthroughs. But this was different. Walking down the narrow hallway from the rear entrance toward the main doors Anna felt like she stepped into a private museum well loved by the careful curator.

This place reeked of history and someone who wanted to keep it protected and visible. The walls held paintings and artifacts from a dozen different cultures and countries but all arranged to blend from one to the next like a tactile map. The interior lighting brightened every corner while the windows allowed the maximum amount of light inside. Everything about this place spoke of quiet grace, elegance, and respect. It was almost like the person who owned it believed themselves a caretaker, or a knight, to guard the treasured pieces of a world fading fast around them.

Anna craned her head back to appreciate the stained glass over the main doorway and inlaid as a skylight above them, bathing the whole area in reds and blues. "Mr. Bates is quiet the collector."

"He wants to preserve what we can." Phyllis started up one side of a curved staircase that split around the circular entrance. "He appreciates the small things."

"A good habit for someone who invests quiet a bit of money in medical research." Anna pivoted, admiring the two large paintings in the entrance before noticing Phyllis staring at her, "I'm sorry I just can't get over how beautiful this all is. It's not at all what I expected."

"I'm glad you notice. So often, in running and cleaning this place, I don't." Phyllis sighed, "Sometimes, if you don't mind me saying, I wish he used it more. There's a ballroom and large dining room but he mostly keeps those empty and closed."

"Not a partyer I take it."

"Mr. Bates is a private person but not uncongenial. I've never worked for a nicer man, but he has his proclivities and we respect them I guess." Phyllis waved Anna up the stairs with her. "He'll meet you in the library. That's where he meets with Mr. Crawley when he comes."

Anna trailed Phyllis up the stairs, still gaping a bit at the grandeur of it all, and walked down a wood-paneled hallway to a set of double doors that Phyllis pushed inward. If Anna's jaw could hit the floor it would've bounced right back and knocked against her upper teeth. A two-story library with rolling ladders and comfortable chairs, two large desks at either end next to fireplaces large enough for Anna to stand upright comfortably inside, and stained glass windows that scattered colored light over a book collection that surpassed some bookshops greeted her.

It rivaled some of the University libraries she saw on her tours of schools when recruiting and felt more homely than some of the apartments she lived in. Anna took a step forward, almost afraid to break the silence of the room. "Does he read all of these?"

"I think he's read most of them. I can't swear to all but he doesn't believe in buying books for show. No un-cracked spines in this library." Phyllis walked forward, "He uses this table, usually. I find it gives the best lighting to both parties and offers comfortable seating."

"I don't think there's an uncomfortable chair in this whole room." A balding, twitching man, approached them. "Is this our guest for the evening?"

"Anna Smith," Anna extended a hand, "I'm glad to see Mr. Bates knows not to use uncomfortable chairs in his library. A library should never be an uncomfortable place to be."

"Exactly what he thinks." The man released her hand, "I'm Joseph Moseley, butler and, technically speaking, Mr. Bates's personal secretary. We're delighted to have you Doctor Smith."

"You didn't say you were a doctor." Phyllis put a hand to her mouth, "I'm so sorry you must think me so rude."

"It's fine. If I wanted to use my salutation I would've but I don't, usually, outside of business settings." Anna moved her briefcase between her hands. "And I don't feel very business-like here. I'm out of my depth really."

"On the contrary," All three turned to the door at the sound of a new voice, "You appear very much in your element Doctor."

"I'm far more comfortable next to a microscope or pipetting in microliters." Anna squinted, "Are you Mr. Bates? The lighting makes it a little difficult to see and since Mr. Crawley never gave me a picture I'm only left to guess."

The man stepped forward and Anna bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from letting her eyes wander all over him. He was taller than her, but most men were, and broader too. Even with his limp his stride never faltered and the cane in his hand acted in perfect concert with his movements. Nothing could have appeared more dignified.

His hair stayed exactly where he wanted it to without making his head shine with an excess of gel and when he walked closer to them Anna could smell him. She read somewhere that women identify more to the smells of men than men do to women and, if that were true, then her hormones were about to jump the two stories of the library at whatever cologne he used that morning. She wondered if it might even just be his natural smell.

"I am."

"Am what"

He coughed back a laugh, "John Bates."

"Oh," Anna never felt eloquent in her whole life.

He extended his hand and Anna moved her briefcase to shake with him. "Seeing as both my housekeeper and my butler are here it explains why my cook needed to open the door to let me in."

"We were caught up introducing ourselves to your guest, Mr. Bates."

"It's no trouble," He waved them off, "If I had someone as fascinating as Robert tells me she is to talk to, I'd have all the best excuses in the world. So I can't fault you."

"Well, we'll leave you to it." Phyllis clapped her hands together, "When do you want to take dinner Mr. Bates?"

"I'll leave that up to Dr. Smith."

"No," Anna tried to wave them off, "I'm not staying that long. I've got a room reserved down at the inn in the village and I'd hate to impose."

"Nonsense. I've got a house bigger than I can fill on my own and more rooms than I should probably count on a good day." Mr. Bates looked at Phyllis, "Please make up a room for the good doctor."

"Really, Mr. Bates, I couldn't possibly impose."

"It's no imposition." He faced her and Anna's further arguments died in her throat just staring into his eyes. "Robert always stays here and, if it's an issue, I can make sure the room is far enough away from myself and the staff to insure that there can be no talk of potential impropriety."

"That's not my worry, Mr. Bates."

"John."

"Sorry?"

He laughed, "Please, call me John. Mr. Bates was my father and he worked his whole life as the headmaster of the school I attended. I'd rather not remember those days by association. Not the best years of my life."

"Well, John," Anna gathered her breath, "I worry more about putting your staff at an inconvenience."

"It's no inconvenience." Phyllis insisted, "As I said before, we don't often get visitors and there's a room with a gorgeous view of the gardens."

Anna's rebuttal lost steam and she nodded, "Well, it would make it easier to discuss everything on the premises."

"Yes it would." John pointed to the table, "Would you like to choose the chair and then the dinner menu?"

"Honestly I'm not picky about food."

"You'll eat anything?" It almost sounded like a warning but Anna would not lose this battle like she had the last.

Rolling her shoulders back she held John's incredulous look, "Yes, John, anything. Surprise me and let your cook have at it to her heart's content."

"You have no idea how happy you just made Mrs. Patmore." Joseph sniggered, "Is there anything else you need from us, Mr. Bates?"

"Just to make up the room for the doctor and-"

"Anna."

"What?"

Anna smiled at John's confusion, "If you insist on being called John I insist on being called Anna."

"Alright then." He beamed back at her, "Make up a room for Anna, let Mrs. Patmore have her day, and retrieve Anna's things from her car."

"Very good Mr. Bates." Phyllis and Joseph left and John took his seat.

"You are quite the fighter, Anna."

"I don't lose often." She thought a moment, "I think, just now, was the first time I've lost in at least six months."

"Keep that close of score do you?"

"One needs to. When you're as small as I am you run the risk of being underestimated. When you work in the profession I do you often meet those who doubt your credentials and abilities. I don't intend for either of those to be factors."

"I often find those we underestimate tend to lead to our ruin." John stared into a corner a moment, "But there's always a chance to learn."

"I agree." Anna put her case on the table and opened it, passing the folders to John and pulling out her tablet to have the information for herself as well, "But I also think we should get started. Your cook doesn't seem like the kind of person who likes anyone waiting to eat her food."

"No, she's the real power here." John flicked a folder open, skimming the contents of the page quickly before turning it. "You may not know the answer to this question but why did Robert send you?"

"Doubting my credentials?"

"Not at all," John looked up at her and all of Anna's momentary defensiveness faded immediately. "I ask because you actually seem too qualified to be here. I'd have thought he'd keep you cracking the code of life in your lab. Not traipsing around wine country looking for a house in the backwoods so you can give a quarterly report to a strange man."

"Michael Jackson strange or strange as in unknown to me?" Anna waited and smiled to herself when John started laughing. "Because I don't think you're the former. Which one are you?"

"The latter," John wiped at his eyes, "Definitely the latter."

"Well, the rest of my lab, except the technicians running basic analysis, are on holiday and this happened to be the day all those holidays crossed. Statistically speaking it's not likely but humans don't tend to be rational beings."

"Yes, if I remember the details of your lab there are a few of them who'd want a more romantic getaway for Valentine's Day than here with me." John turned another page, "And, if I'm not too impertinent, why aren't you celebrating the most pink of holidays with a significant other?"

"You'd assumed I have one."

"Don't you?"

Anna held up her left hand, "I'm single."

"And loving it? As the phrase goes?"

"Loving is a relative term," Anna took a deep breath, "Let's just say that I introduce myself without my salutation because I find that distracts people from what else I have to offer."

"Your stunning wit being one of those things?" John flipped another page.

"One of, yes." Anna folded her arms, "And, returning impertinence, what about you? Where's your Valentine's Day date?"

"The last significant woman I spent Valentine's Day with is sitting in a German prison for grand larceny." John held up his cane, "Her last gift to me was the necessity of this so I don't really hold much stock in the holiday."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." John waved down her embarrassment, "It was well worth it to have the divorce finalized."

"Mary mentioned something about her being a terror."

"Then Mary was putting it mildly." John returned to his reading and Anna felt the pressure to speak.

"She says 'hi', by the way."

"Mary does?" The corners of John's mouth turned up, "I'm surprised she even remembers me."

"Mary tends to remember everything."

"One of her gifts?"

"I'd call it a curse." Anna chuckled and John joined in. "She told me you're a good person and she doesn't say that about many people."

"Well, if Mary said it then it must be true."

Anna nodded her head slowly, studying John, "Must be."

"Do you believe Mary?" John met her gaze and Anna could not have looked away if she tried.

"I've no reason not to."

"Good." John smiled at her, "I look forward to continue giving you reasons to believe Mary."


	4. Dark Clouds Descending

Anna pushed her plate away, "If I eat anymore I'll explode."

"Does that mean you're not interested in dessert?" John stared at her from across the table, food plates between them.

"How could you even ask such a question?" Anna sat up straighter, "I'll have you know it's scientifically proven that we all have a second, smaller stomach, made just to hold dessert."

"In which medical journal did they prove that?" He laughed and motioned for the girl to come and retrieve the plates.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"If you must know it was the same one where they said all mother's have a dorsal eye in the back of their head and you have a second, larger tear duct for romantic movies and the ones where the dog dies at the end." Anna turned over her shoulder to the girl, "Thank you, it was delicious."

"I don't make the food miss." The girl stacked the plates she could and hurried away.

"Daisy's very shy around new people." John settled in his chair, "She's a wonderful maid but not very talkative. Took me six months just to have her say good morning to me."

"Because you're so intimidating?"

"Maybe." John shrugged, "Mostly I think she's just nervous around people because she feels under qualified or somehow less than them."

"What makes you say that?"

"When I hired her she left school to take care of her father-in-law after her husband died of lung cancer. She never finished school because she had to immediately work to take care of her family and it's always been something she regrets." John sighed, "In a way she's all of us."

"How'd you mean?"

"Missed opportunities. We often judge ourselves so much more harshly by those things we haven't done instead of what we have. Our accomplishments crumble the moment we detect the slightest deficiency in ourselves."

"Psychology says it takes five compliments to replace the effect of one insult." Anna took her glass, swirling the contents to give her hand something to do. "I remember that being a very big part of my childhood."

"How big, if you don't mind me asking?" John interlaced his fingers and leaned forward to set his chin on them.

"Probably as big as the effect me calling you 'Mr. Bates' has." Anna set her glass back down.

"I thought you studied cancer proliferation." John tsked his tongue at her, "Don't tell me you're a psychologist too."

"I'm not." Anna smiled, "I just noticed the way you responded."

"Saw a bit of yourself in it?"

"Might've done." Anna waited, holding John's gaze in a staring contest he eventually conceded to when he dropped his eyes to the tabletop.

"As I said earlier, my father was an educator. He rose from head of Mathematics to deputy headmaster to headmaster while I was in primary and secondary school."

"I imagine it's difficult to make friends in school when you're father's the one handing out punishments."

"It was but it didn't stop me." John took a deep breath, "My father was in the military before he went to university and, unfortunately for him, his father believed rather strongly in the idea of corporal punishment as a way to make sure your child behaved."

"I'm guessing this is more than a smack to the butt?"

"My father was whipped with the metal end of a belt on the good days."

Anna winced, the sound of snapping leather echoing in her ears a moment. "Alcoholism was a problem then?"

"My grandfather and father were both very Irish and while many believe it's a horrible stereotype I'll tell you that in my family it was more of a tradition."

"But not yourself?"

"Sorry?"

Anna pointed to the glass in front of him, "You've barely sipped from that all evening. You preferred the water glass next to you."

"Detective as well?"

Anna shrugged, "I'm a research scientist. We're paid money for our observation skills. Your money, if I read all the financial reports correctly."

"You did." John dropped his hands to finger the bottom of his wine glass. "And I had my own trip down demon lane at one time. I don't relish the idea of treading those footpaths again."

"Then is your father proud of your accomplishments?" Anna gestured to the dinning room around them, "One doesn't get all this without hard work… unless you're secretly a gangster or drug runner."

"I only ever tried cannabis once and while I think I may have the build to be a gangster I don't have the attitude for it." John tapped his right leg, "This would also be a little bit of a struggle to get over so I could pull out brass knuckles."

"I don't know," Anna smirked, "It could help the whole Corleone feel."

"I don't have it in me to be Pacino or Brando."

"Know your strengths." Anna sipped from her glass, "So, is your father proud of you?"

"I don't know. He died when I was overseas."

"I'm sorry." Anna set her glass back down, "Here I am talking so glibly about your family and you've lost them."

"Death comes to us all. The greatest guarantee of life." John shook his head, like he was waving away a thought worse than their discussion, "That was my wake up call actually."

"How so, if I may ask?"

"It was the moment, sitting in a service with members of my family I hadn't seen in years, that I realized I didn't want to be him. I'd joined the army because that's what men did in my family. I drank because that's what men did in my family. I was crass, dismissive, and angry at everything because that's what men did in my family." John paused, his gaze lost in a memory only he could see. "But when I sat there, in the service, next to my mother as she cried not for the man my father was but for the man he could've been, I realized I wanted to be a better man for her."

"That's amazing."

"My mother thought so too." John smiled to himself, "I quit drinking, finished my commission, and went back to University."

"What did you read?"

"Biology and History."

"Not completely unrelated subjects but I've never met anyone who read them together." Anna made a face, "How'd you choose those?"

"I was brilliant at Biology in school and it's the backbone of my business really." John waved a hand about them to the art and artifacts about them, "And History is the most fascinating subject."

"I don't quite agree there and I think I can argue my side on that but as I don't want an argument I'll leave it."

"It was once said, in a movie I feel a little torn about, that people who dislike history dislike their own history." Anna caught John staring at her, "Is there something about your history you'd rather not remember?"

"Normally I'd say something vague in that direction or deflect," Anna stroked a finger down her glass before meeting his eyes, "But you've been very honest with my questions so I think you deserve the same."

"Only if you feel so inclined. Don't think you owe me any explanations."

"I never feel I owe anyone anything, so let that salve your conscience." Anna clasped her hands together in her lap. "I assume your father used a belt on you when you were young?"

"Thankfully only the leather end but it stings enough."

"My stepfather did as well." Anna took a deep breath, "My father died when I was nine. I was heartbroken. He was my best friend and biggest hero. My great defender. And I cried for weeks when he passed."

"How'd he die?"

"Work accident. Something wrong with the machine and it snapped something." Anna shuddered, "We had a closed casket funeral, if that tells you anything about how bad it must've been."

"If you don't want to-"

"I'd rather continue, actually." Anna tried to smile but found her mouth would not move quite far enough in either direction. "I don't talk about it often and I find it a little more cathartic to say it to someone who might understand it all instead of people who pretend they do."

"I know what you mean." John held up a hand, "Sorry for interrupting."

"Well my mother remarried about a year later. The settlement for the accident was given as endowments for university funds for my sister and I so we weren't doing too well financially. My mother worked two jobs and I even tried to find penny work on the weekends to help where I could but we were in pretty dire straits for awhile."

"And then she met your stepfather?"

"He was a visiting professor from France that the local college managed to snag as their Head of French. My mother worked as school secretary and they'd see one another occasionally. He chatted her up, impressed her with phrases in French that had her swooning, and before I could really blink they were both signing their names on the line at the Registrar."

"Did you like him?"

"I didn't know him well enough to form an opinion before he was living in our house with us." Anna swallowed, "He taught my sister and I French for the express purpose of insulting us and giving us orders my mother wouldn't understand."

"She didn't get it from tone?"

"My stepfather was a master at controlling his voice. He would sound so sweet when he said the worst things." Anna bit her cheek, some of the words coming back to her, "But I learned French and it helped me take a year abroad for study and got me in the Sorbonne so, I guess there are silver linings."

"You mentioned he used a belt on you."

"Only twice. My mother caught him the second time and insisted that she wouldn't have it in her house." Anna closed her eyes, "She only saw what was right in front of her face."

"He did worse to you?"

"My stepfather abused my sister and I until I was sixteen."

"Anna-"

"My head of year noticed when she caught me sneaking glue from the art room." Anna chewed on her tongue, "They say that abuse victims are statistically more prone to suicide and she'd noticed my downward spiral. When I told her what happened she went immediately to the police."

"Did they get him?"

"Yes and no. He was charged and the evidence was pretty convincing but my mother testified to his character against my sister and me. He got probation and we were removed from the home. My sister lived with my grandparents until she left for university in America and never came back. Me, I was taken in by my head of year."

"Is that usual?"

"No but we didn't have any other family and the state thought she was close enough to be kin when she filed for custody over me. It's all about minimizing trauma and since I couldn't stay in the home they thought it the best thing." Anna sighed, "It got me away from him and that's all that mattered to me."

"So he's still alive?"

"No," Anna shook her head, "He and my mother died in a car accident right before I finished my Ph.D."

"What?"

"The funny thing was they died in the accident on the way to seeing me get my Ph.D." Anna scoffed, "I didn't invite them but they found out, somehow."

"Maybe they wanted reconciliation?"

"Maybe." Anna sipped at her drink, "In the end I don't know if I ever really forgave either of them but I also don't know if I really hated them either."

"I know what you mean."

"Do you?" Anna set her glass down.

John nodded, "My father would whip me until my ass was red and raw. There was once I couldn't sit down for three days without wincing."

"And yet?"

"And yet I couldn't hate him. When he showed me even a fraction of the person he hid behind his walls he erected so long ago I saw a kindred spirit. He drank but he never beat me when drunk. He pushed me in school when he realized I'd never be top form in sports and he praised my accomplishments." John shifted in his chair, "It's odd, when you're a child in that situation, because you still love your parents even when they do things you'd never let anyone else do to you."

"Psychologically they'd say we're programed to love our parents so it makes it hard to really hate them when they fail you." Anna steadied her breathing to keep her tears from falling, "You just keep praying they'll change and love you like all the fairy tales say they should."

"My mother loved me like that." John chewed on his cheek, "The way you cried when your father died was me when my mother passed."

"How'd she go?"

"Cancer."

"Would it be a wild guess to say it's the one you're having us study?"

"No, it's not." John heaved in a breath, "As impossible as it may sound, and trust me I have Robert tell me every quarter that what I'm asking is superhuman, but I want it eradicated from the world."

"That's a noble goal."

John pointed at her, "But you also believe it's impossible?"

"I think, like you said, death comes to all."

"Yet you research a way to end cancer for a living."

"Because I don't believe people need to die in miserable agony." Anna lifted her glass, "Death can be noble and peaceful. That's why I do it. I want to remove the sting from death."

"How very Biblical."

"I am Anglican." Anna smiled and set her glass back down, "I think I should turn in. I've got a drive to the train station tomorrow and then it's back to work for me."

"It's a shame you're so efficient." John stood as Anna pushed her chair back, "It usually takes Robert two days to go through all the information."

"Mr. Crawley likes his tangents and I get the feeling that you, as a historian, only feed those needs." Anna waited as John walked around the table to join her so they could walk together. "It always surprised me that a historian decided to chuck it all in and run a scientific research laboratory."

"Robert's mother was the driving force behind that decision."

"I met her once at a dinner party." Anna shuddered, "Very imposing."

"She's got a whip of a tongue and a brain to match." John nodded, leading them out of the dining room and up the curved staircase. "But her husband started the company from nothing in an attempt to save the family fortune. He didn't quite have the brains for it but she did. Puppeted that man through leading the company until he passed. Then she took over until Robert got back from America, after he finished his degree there, and forced him into the role because the board had issues with a woman leading it."

"I imagine they'd be just as frightened of her now."

"They still are." John nodded his head, stopping them at the top of the stairs. "But Robert has a very defined sense of noblesse oblige and so he considers it his duty to give his life for the family business."

"At the cost of himself?"

"He believes it's all a part of himself." John held up a finger, "You forget, he's technically nobility and that's what they do. They take on the responsibilities of their forefathers and bear the burden they're born to bear."

"So he gave up his dreams to live his mother's dream?"

"It became his dream. Robert is, if anything, a people person. The idea that he runs a company dedicated to saving lives fulfills him in a way it would destroy other people." John directed a hand down the hallway, "This way."

They walked in step; John's leg meaning his size-appropriate strides kept him back in time with Anna's much shorter ones. She smiled to herself about it, how they seemed so synchronized after just hours. Already walking in step with one another.

They reached the door and John pushed it in, "If you need anything there's an intercom there that goes right to the staff rooms. Someone's always on call."

"Feels more like a hotel than a house."

"It does a bit," John laughed, "But since this is also the base of my business operations and I have international clientele I always need someone manning the phones. Hate to miss something because it went to voicemail."

"Smart," Anna made a mock serious face and they both laughed together. "Please make sure to thank Mrs. Patmore for what probably set any hopes of a diet back a century."

"She'll be pleased. She's always saying people today don't love food because they're too thin." John leaned on his cane, "Thank you, Anna. I had a lovely evening."

"Even with our dark stories?"

"I find, like you said, it's cathartic to finally have someone to share it with who understands."

They stood in the doorway, in silence for a moment before Anna cleared her throat, "I had a lovely time as well. I don't think I've ever enjoyed conversation more."

"You're welcome to my conversation anytime." John reached for her right hand with his left and pulled it to his lips, "Sleep well Anna."

She shivered when his lips touched her hand. Smiling at him as he released it Anna swallowed, "You too John."

"If I sleep. I'm a dreadful insomniac so if you hear someone wandering the halls at two in the morning it's only me."

"I'll bear that in mind." Anna went into the room, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

John turned, walking down the hallway with the distinctive clip of his cane on the wood. Anna watched him, leaning around the door, and noted the door he entered. She closed her own and touched her head to the wood. Just breathing there a moment she flexed her hand, the spot where he touched it still warm.

* * *

Anna turned in bed at the insistent knocking on her door. She blinked her eyes open, pushing out of the covers only to shiver violently in the cold. Grabbing a blanket from the bed she wrapped herself in it before taking to the tips of her toes over the chill wood floor.

Opening the door she saw John standing there with Phyllis, both wielding torches. "Yes?"

"I think you may have to cancel your train." John began.

"What?"

"The snow storm you said you heard about on the radio," Phyllis stepped forward, "It hit and we're a bit buried here."

"Is that why you're both wielding torches?"

"We're waiting for the generators to kick in. Andy's on it but it might take an hour or two to get them all filled and running." John passed her a torch, "I'm sorry Anna but I think you'll be here for a few days until they can plow us out and make the roads safe for travel."

"In that case," Anna glanced back over her shoulder at the bed, "I may just actually get to wake up naturally for the first time in my life."

John laughed, "There's the spirit to it."

"Goodnight John." Anna nodded toward Phyllis, "And goodnight Phyllis."

"Sleep well. We'll try to get the heat on the minute the generators are running."

"I'll just burrow into the blankets." Anna closed the door.

She darted back over the floor and snuggled herself into the covers. It might be the best business trip so far.


	5. What's In a Name?

When Anna did wake up naturally the weight of the blankets stifled her and she pushed herself free. Her clothing choices were a tad limited but she managed to find her business trousers and a shirt that she could move comfortably in without looking too out of sorts. The en suite ran cold water but it was enough to get a brush through her hair, another for her teeth, and attempt some low level makeup before wending her way down toward the smells of food.

Phyllis stood at the bottom of the stairs, making a note about something on a small pad of paper as she flicked light switches. When she noticed Anna she smiled, "Good morning. I do hope you enjoyed your lie in."

"I did." Anna checked her phone, "I haven't slept past seven since my phone died in the middle of the night my first week of work."

"Well, we run a very informal house here so enjoy the lie in you get."

"If I have the chance at another here I certainly will." Anna shivered slightly and held her arms close to her body. "I don't suppose you have a spare sweater or anything. I didn't pack one and-."

"Here," Anna and Phyllis turned to see John coming up the hall toward them. He pulled his sweater over his head, resting his cane to on the banister a moment. Anna held up her hands to stop him but he just draped the fabric over her arms. "I've got plenty."

He took his cane and started up the stairs, "And Mrs. Patmore laid out a spread in the dining room for breakfast so please, help yourself."

"Are you not coming?" Anna paused, molding the sweater in her grip. "I hate eating alone with so many people in the house. I'd feel rather awkward."

John paused, "I hadn't thought about it that way."

"Do you not eat?" Anna hurried to work the sweater over her head and had to stop herself sighing at the comfort of it.

"I don't usually eat breakfast," John shook his head, "I know, nasty habit of mine."

"Mrs. Patmore never lets him hear the end of it." Phyllis took her pad, "The generators are working and we've been in contact with the electricians. They think they can get power back to us by tonight, tomorrow morning at the latest."

"And what are the good doctor's chances of actually making any kind of train in the near future?" John came back down the stairs and leaned on his cane.

Phyllis shrugged. "They're making the time they can make but with ice on the roads the conditions aren't ideal. I'd say maybe tomorrow evening, best guess."

"Well," John turned to Anna, "I hope we don't bore you in the mean time." "I don't get the impression that's even possible." Anna watched Phyllis move to leave, "Won't you be eating with us?"

"No," Phyllis shook her head, "Joseph and I ate already. Don't worry, Mrs. Patmore feeds us well. Enjoy breakfast."

Anna nodded as John cleared his throat. She turned and he held his arm out, directing her to the dining room, "Ladies first."

"Ever the gentleman?"

"I try to make my mother proud. She did raise me to be one after all."

"Then I commend her efforts." Anna led the way into the dining room, "They weren't wasted."

"You say that now."

"I'd say that about any man who sheds his sweater for a woman staying woefully unprepared in his home." Anna took her seat and John sat across from her again, the short side of the long table between them.

"We only had cold water to offer you."

"I just thought I'd used all the hot water when I showered last night." Anna teased and pulled the tops off the dishes in front of them, "I think I just gained a stone looking at all this."

"Mrs. Patmore's idea." John examined the offerings. "She caught a glimpse of your last night and might've believed you would blow away in a stiff wind."

"My father used to say that to me." Anna smiled to herself, loading her plate. "He would tie strings to my sister and I at the beach then hold on for dear life like we might fly away."

"He sounds like a loving man."

"He was." Anna twiddled her fork in her fingers. "He and I were so alike. My mother used to moan that she didn't have a daughter she just had a smaller version of him."

"What about you two was so similar?"

"Little things," Anna looked into the distance, trying to put it into words. "The way we took our tea or how we liked our toast. We'd memorize the same silly lines from movies and cartoons and then write them on notes to each other in church or leave them on colored paper in odd places in the house for the other one to find."

"Sounds exciting."

"It was." Anna ran her tongue inside her mouth, "After his died I found a few notes, about a month later. It reminded me he was still there in a way."

"I think we all need those reminders." John gestured to her, "What else?"

"He'd read me the same bedtime story until we both got tired of it and then repeat it with the next book on the shelf. We acted them out in the garden because we memorized all the lines and we'd be pirates or animal tamers, or great explorers as we tramped all through my mother's flower beds. And we'd tell the most ridiculous stories to strangers at the shop or at a carnival."

"Like what?"

"Like I was an escaped acrobat from the circus and he was hiding me so I could run away to India. Or that he was secretly a prince searching for the heir to his lost kingdom in the clouds. Drove Mum mad." Anna noticed John staring at her, "What?"

"Nothing," John shook his head, busying himself with his utensils.

"I insist. If there's something on my face or in my teeth-"

"No, it's," John took a breath as if he could not find the right way to say what he was thinking, "Watching your face, when you were describing your father. I've never seen anyone light up like that before."

"Never?" John shook his head and Anna forced a laugh, heat rising in her cheeks. "I'm sorry I got carried away and-"

"No," John put out a hand, "You misunderstand."

"I do?"

"I thought it was rather enthralling. The love you feel for your father is… irreplaceable."

"Surely you feel the same for you mother."

John raised an eyebrow, "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know many men who, even if they had the means, invest a significant part of their fortune in a cure for the cancer that took their mother from them." Anna set down her fork, "I've met a lot of survivors and sufferers, I've seen hundreds of people at runs and charity functions, but I've never seen the devotion you have to this. I watched you, when we discussed the most boring of details in the library and you never faltered, never wavered."

"I didn't find it boring."

"That's kind of the point I'm making." Anna laughed, "You're devoted to her and her memory in a way I've never seen before."

"Some would call it obsessive."

"I call it endearing." Anna sucked in her cheeks a moment, "Though, as a scientist, I feel I owe it to you to be honest."

"There's no cure?"

"None that we've found yet." Anna shrugged, "The difficulty in what I do, in what anyone in my field does, is realize that try as we might, death is coming for all."

"Then why try at all?"

"Because we're human, Mr. Bates. We want to live longer, to love more, and laugh louder. We struggle against the dying of light, as Tennyson put it, because we don't want our end to come yet. Life means more because it ends but that doesn't mean we just surrender."

"Some do." John dropped his head a little, "My mother did, at the end."

"Some are ready to meet their Maker."

"Are you?"

Anna choked slightly, "Excuse me?"

"Sorry," John held up a hand, "That sounded almost like the line before you end up in a very bad horror film."

"It did, a little, and as a blonde I feel I have a higher chance of dying in that scenario"

John chuckled, "This isn't one of those cases."

Anna sipped at her water. "Care to give context to your comment?"

"If you were to die, right now, would you feel ready to meet your Maker?"

"Would you?"

"No," John shook his head, "I wouldn't."

Anna set her water down, swishing a bit in her mouth before swallowing. "It won't make you feel better but I wouldn't either. I'm not ready for that yet."

"May I be so forward as to ask why?"

"I haven't done things with my life I want to yet?"

"Haven't climbed the mountains you wanted to?"

Anna giggled, "Nothing like that."

"You're not outdoorsy?"

"Not in the slightest." Anna sobered, "It's not the things I haven't done so much as the people I haven't met yet."

"Who'd you want to meet? Someone famous?"

"I wouldn't say no to meeting a few stars but I'd be afraid I'd get so tongue tied I'd just make a fool of myself." Anna bit her lip and her voice quieted, "It's more personal than that."

John's voice matched hers in softness, "People you haven't met because they don't exist yet?"

Anna looked up to see him studying her across the table. She nodded, "Yeah."

"There's still time for that."

"Sure," Anna waved her hand, "And I'm not in some huge hurry to get myself to that point but there was a moment, a few years ago, when I had this feeling I may never have it and that terrified me."

"Did you get sick or-"

"Nothing like that." Anna took a deep breath, "I don't know how much stock you put in the idea of premonitions or dreams, Mr. Bates, so I'm a little hesitant to give exact details."

"I was raised Catholic and we believe that the world used to contain men who spoke to God through dreams and visions all the time."

"But do you believe in them?"

John sat back in his chair, "My mother was a devout woman and once, when I was young, I had an accident. Nothing major just a topple off my bike riding around with friends. She swore, to her grave, that at the moment I fell of my bike she knew. That something in her said I was in trouble."

"What'd she say it was?"

"She told me I was protected by a guardian angel and that I needed to be more careful." John smiled, "I didn't think anything of since she was always going on about mother's intuition and having eyes in the back of her head."

"I sense there's a 'but' coming."

John nodded, " _But,_ when my Mum had her first stroke, the one that led us to finding out she had cancer, I was away on business. There I was, in a hotel bar, chatting up a client when I felt this pain in my lungs. It was like they were constricting on me and I couldn't get air. For a minute I panicked, thought I was blacking out, and my client was frantic."

"Were you alright?"

"Yeah, paramedics sorted me, said it was an anxiety attack but I never had one before so I thought it was odd. Minutes later I got a call from the hospital telling me my mother had been rushed there. I asked the time of her stroke and, to the minute, it was when I felt my world close around me." John gave it a beat, "So you could say I believe very strongly in them. I wouldn't call them premonitions though."

"What would you call them?"

"Don't know." John laughed a little, "But what's in a name right?"

"Not much." Anna folded her arms over her chest. The movement crushed the sweater to her and whiff of his cologne filled her nose. If not for the weight of what she was about to say it might have distracted her. "When I was twenty I was at a crossroads. I didn't know if I wanted to continue studying or just settle in the village working at the shop where I had a job part time. I was dating this guy at the time and I thought we could make a happy life together somewhere."

"Sounds like you had it sorted to me."

"Not in the slightest." Anna gathered her courage, dipping her tongue out to lick her drying lips, "Because, one night, I had this dream. The surroundings are hazy but wherever I was I was laying down and someone put this bundle into my arms."

Anna closed her eyes, the image filling her head. "This little boy, with dark hair, fussed a bit and then settled and I knew, in that moment, this boy was mine."

John said nothing, only listened as Anna used her hand to wipe a tear from her eye. "I thought it was real, it felt so real, that when I woke up I was in tears because that boy wasn't there anymore. I thought someone had taken him away until I realized he never existed at all." She scoffed, "You must think me so foolish."

"No," John shook his head and reached over the table to put his hand on hers, "There's no foolishness in the depth of emotion there."

"Well, the boy I was dating at the time broke up with me and I chose to continue studying." Anna sighed, "I kept thinking that boy would be real for me one day until, a few years later, I had another dream. This time I saw my sister and a few friends all pushed prams with their babies but I didn't have one. I walked with them and one of my friends lifted her little boy from the pram and I offered to hold him but she backed away, like she was afraid I'd drop it."

"I doubt you'd be so careless."

"That wasn't the worst part."

"It gets worse?" John's eyes seemed to tear for her.

"The moment she backed away I had this feeling, the kind you get deep in the gut, that I would never have that. Prams and babies and families would be for everyone else but not me."

John's hand tightened on hers, "I wish there was something I could say."

"There's nothing to say, Mr. Bates." Anna shrugged, "We are who we are and we make the choices we make. I chose a career that filled me with a lot of joy and that's who I am. I make a difference for people everyday, even if I know there are some dreams I'm just not entitled to have."

"We're entitled to whatever dreams we want."

"I'd like to think so." Anna sighed, "Sorry, I've cast quite the dismal mood over our morning."

"Not at all," John straightened in his chair, "We all need someone to hear our dark tales so we know we're not alone with them."

"Do you feel alone?"

"Sometimes."

"Is it because you're house is so large?"

"No," John snickered, letting his gaze sweep the room. "It might surprise you to know but living here, in this house, is less lonely than when I was married."

"I guess that depends on the marriage." Anna pushed her half-finished plate to the side. "You mentioned yesterday that your wife gave you that injury."

"Ex-wife and yes, she did."

"You also said she's in prison in Germany for larceny?"

"Yes, she is."

"Are you happy she's gone?"

"Yes and I hope it's not too petty to say I helped put her there so she could be out of my life forever." John stroked his finger along the table, "I was the witness against her and she spit like a cat when I told the truth on the stand."

"You weren't married then?"

"No, the divorce had been final a year when her trial finally reached the German equivalent of the QB. She wailed her innocence because she was never one to take the harder road and accept the consequences of her actions. Always looking for shortcuts and schemes."

"But you married her?"

"I thought I loved her once."

"And then realized your mistake?"

John nodded, "A little too late."

"Nothing's too late if you realize you aren't happy."

"Odd isn't it?" John played with his water glass before draining it, "The people we think will make us happy when we're young?"

"We're different people when we meet them."

"Makes me glad I met you now."

Anna cocked her head to the side, "What makes you say that?"

John's cheeks reddened slightly and Anna bit her lip to keep from smiling at him, "Because I wouldn't have wanted to be the man I was with her and then meet you. I think I'm a much better person now than I was then and that means I can show that side of myself to someone better than she is."

"Having never met that version of you," Anna tipped her head from side to side, "I'll just have to take your word for it."

"If you do, trust this version of me is the far superior model." John stood up, "In interest of lightening the mood, might I interest you in a walk?"

"In the snow?" Anna half-laughed, "You can't be serious."

"We have winter wear you can use. Coats, boots, the whole nine yards as they say in America."

"Is this your daily walk?"

"Not quite. It's more that there's a place I think you should see." John held a hand out to her, "We can take one of the ATVs if you like, get us there faster."

Anna narrowed her eyes and then stood, "Alright. But the moment my nose even tinges red you tell me and we're straight back here."

"You have my word."

"I better find something a little better than this." Anna pointed to her clothes but stopped, holding the sweater, "Do you want this back?"

"Use it while you're here. It'll keep you warm since the house gets a bit drafty." He grinned, "It is large."

Anna shook her head, going back up the stairs but struggled to find anything, in the two days worth of clothes she packed for a business meeting, to wear. She returned downstairs to see John waiting at the bottom, discussing something with Moseley. He looked up when he heard her and pointed to her clothes. "I thought you were changing."

"I realized I didn't exactly pack for this occasion." Anna clapped her hands together, "I'll just have to lump it."

"This way." John let them to the mudroom and found Anna the winter paraphernalia she needed to bundle up properly before opening the back door.

They walked over the salted and shoveled path, Anna taking a minute to look at the sight of the buildings layered with snow. "I hope you pay your groundsmen well. They do a cracking job."

"They truly do and yes, they're all paid well for what they do for me."

"Because you're a great employer?"

John held the door open, "Maybe. Mostly because they give me company I wouldn't otherwise have and, as much as I like being alone, I don't like being lonely."

"I don't think anyone likes being lonely."

They entered the garage and the younger man from the other afternoon jumped to attention. "I've got her all ready to go Mr. Bates."

"Thanks Andy." John patted him on the shoulder, "When are you taking her out for a spin?"

"I'd have to get Alfred to come with. It's only fun if you can get someone with the spray."

"If you can get him," John mounted the ATV and fit his cane between the handlebars and his leg, "Wait until we're back. I don't think Doctor Smith wants a soaking today."

"We'll keep to ourselves until you're back." Andy smiled at them and went to the wall, hitting the button to open the back door.

John patted the seat behind him and Anna climbed on. She weaved her arms around, holding him gently around the middle. He moved an arm back and slid her forward, wrapping her arms more securely. "Don't want you falling off."

"I'll trust your experience." Anna smiled at Andy and took the offered helmet while John strapped his on as well. "I've never ridden one of these before."

"Then we'll have fun making a go of it." John cranked the engine to start and they rolled out of the garage and into the snow.

White drifts sprayed behind them as John steered them toward the trees and a slight indentation that seemed to indicate a path covered with snow. Except for the hum of their engine the whole wood was quiet and Anna drown out the sound of the machine to bask in the silence. John drove them carefully through the trees, managing the conditions as if it was nothing unusual for him.

Eventually he steered them to a stop and parked the ATV. He slipped his cane free and dismounted carefully. Removing his helmet John puffed out a breath in the air, "This way."

"I thought the point of the ATV was so there wasn't any walking required." Anna pouted, taking off her helmet and leaving it on the ATV before following John through the trees to a little spot overlooking the valley. Anna let out a breath, staring at the picturesque view and smiled, "I take it back, this is worth it."

"I don't say this to impress you," John pointed to one of the far buildings, "But if you're ever here in the morning the whole valley lights up. The sun just washes everything in gold and it's a sight to behold."

"I'd have to actually want to wake up in the mornings to see something like that. But, if I did," Anna let out a breath, "It'd be worth it."

"Mornings just not for you?"

"I'm more of a night owl." She shot a look his way, "With all your talk of insomnia last night I thought you'd be more of one."

"I did too," He grinned but Anna caught the way he stared at her, "It's odd but last night I slept better than I have in a long time."

"Did you change your nightly routine?"

"Something changed." John stared at her and Anna wanted to step closer but John moved first. "If I'm not too bold, I'd like to think it was you."

"Me?"

"Talking with you, at dinner. Those are things I've haven't shared or confronted in a long time and I think, saying them out loud, eased my mind."

"We keep having conversations like that and we should apply to get our licenses for therapy." Anna tried to lighten the mood but her own heart was beating so loud she was surprised he could not hear it in the quiet of the wood. "But you're right, I haven't felt like I could talk to anyone the way I can talk to you. I don't know why."

"Plato once postulated that the gods made man with four arms, four legs, four eyes, and two heads." John took another step closer. "But they grew jealous of man, thought they might have too much power, and so they split humans into two bodies and scattered them over the earth."

"I've heard this," Anna used her hand to gesture was she spoke, "Plato thought that soul mates were simply two halves of the same whole that found one another again."

"Do you believe that?"

"As a romantic I think it's gorgeous." Anna shrugged, "As a scientist I'd have to say that maybe those who consider themselves soul mates were made of the star stuff that exploded in the same vicinity in the Big Bang. As a Christian I believe maybe there are those we're destined to have as ours."

"But what does Anna Smith believe?"

Anna swallowed, the steam from their breath colliding in the air. "I don't think I've ever found mine, if he does exist."

"I think I have." John raised a gloved hand but did not touch her. "I've been very forward with you these past two days and I want your permission to be forward again."

"And do what?"

"I'd like to kiss you, if I can."

Anna blinked, "Why?"

"Because I have emotions inside me I haven't got words for. Because when I saw you were cold my first thought was your comfort. Because I feel I could bear my soul to you, tell you every thought I ever had, and cry in your arms and not only would you not think less of me but you'd also match everything I said with your own words." John took a breath, "I can't explain it but I feel like, at the very least, I found someone who understands me as much as I try to understand myself."

Anna licked her lips, "I can't say I feel the same because I don't know what I feel. But," She put a hand out when his face started to fall, "I do want to kiss you. Even if it's only to try and understand what I'm feeling too."

John put his glove to her face and bent his head to kiss her gently. The cold kept Anna from fully feeling him for a moment but when he went to pull away she put her hands on his neck, drawing him closer. His hand, holding his cane, pushed the padding of her coat to her waist and Anna wished they were in the house for this so she could feel more of him. When he pulled from her again, Anna let him go.

"I hope you don't consider that crossing any lines, Anna."

"What?" She blinked, trying to run her mind on two tracts at once.

"Technically speaking you work for me and I don't want you to confuse that-"

"Mr. Bates-" Anna stopped herself, "John, I work for Robert Crawley. You give money to him. I don't work for you. And even if I did, I know what sexual harassment looks like. I've been hit on and propositioned at more fundraisers and parties than I care to admit or even count but what I can say is that I would very much like to do what we just did again."

His grin spread over his face, "Really?"

"Yes, but," Anna shivered, "Somewhere a bit warmer, please?"

"Your wish is my command."


	6. Chance to Change Your Fate

Snowplows cleared the roads by that evening and power came back to the house by midafternoon but Anna could only change her ticket to book a seat on the train home for the following day. In response John showed her back to the library and they spent the rest of the afternoon touring his collection. He took her down all the shelves, explaining his organizational style, and then through each hallway as he described his artifacts and cultural memorabilia.

"Did you get all of this on business?" Anna ran her fingers through the fringe on a Persian rug hanging from the wall.

"No, most of it I got when I was in the Army."

"You mentioned being overseas when your father died," Anna took a step back, admiring a black, lacquer cabinet John opened to show her the figurines inside. "Where you in Afghanistan?"

"For awhile. They stationed me as a translator at a few Embassies for the military personnel there before I finally resigned my commission."

"What for?" Anna held up her hands, "Sorry, none of my business."

"I think," John leaned over her, standing as close as possible, to shut the cabinet doors, "We're at the point where we can ask these things of one another and not be afraid to ask those questions."

"Then, in the interest of not being afraid," Anna fought to control her breathing, "Are you going to tell me why you left the Army?"

"My ex-wife."

"Does she have a name?" Anna crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, "I find monsters seem more manageable when we don't let them live in the shadows. Shine a light on them and they shrink a little."

"Vera," John sighed, "Her name is Vera."

"She forced you out?"

"She made my job difficult." John led Anna into another room, showing her more of his collection in what she assumed was his study because of the large desk and matching chair.

"Not an Army wife?"

"Not at all." John sucked the inside of his cheek, "She didn't like all the travel, she didn't like that we lived in rough conditions, and she certainly didn't like how she wasn't invited to the fancy dinners after she got so drunk at one she threw up all over the Chinese Ambassador and then passed out in the lap of the Saudi Ambassador."

"Sounds like an international incident waiting to happen."

"It was. They stopped allowing her to attend but she threw such a fit I was sent back to Britain, where they thought she would do less damage."

"Not so?"

"She stole from the regiment. They caught her and she denied it but the evidence was all there."

"What happened?"

"Due to my impeccable record, my CO told me the whole thing could be swept under the rug if I'd resign my commission."

"That's terrible."

"It was that or send Vera to prison and, at the time, I couldn't do that so I resigned by commission and left the job I loved."

Anna paused, her finger on the hilt of a Rajasthani sword hanging from the wall in the study, "Because you loved her?"

"Because I felt I owed it to her." John took a seat, twirling his cane between his fingers, "Have you ever felt so guilty about something that despite all reason you owned up to it again and again?"

"I'm not that much of a martyr but I've met some." Anna placed herself on the edge of the desk, looking at him lounging in the chair, "Is that what you did? Give in to some deranged guilt?"

"I did."

"What'd she say to make you do that?"

"Just that I'd ruined her life." John leaned his head back against the leather headrest, "We married young because she liked the uniform and I thought I liked her. We traveled the world and at first it was all an adventure until real life began. We discovered we only really liked each other when we were drunk so that's what we became. Drunk, violent, and cruel."

"Violent how?"

"With our words." John sighed, "I never laid a hand on her but you don't need to when your words sting like a whip."

"You met your match there?"

"If there was anything fair in our relationship, and there wasn't, the closest it got was how we could lash each other. She was quick and I was smart so we could spend hours harrowing each other up in our sins."

"Sounds toxic."

"It was." John sighed, "The worst part was there were times, in our crazed inebriation or right when our blood was running hot in an argument, that we would have sex. But sex isn't the right word since it was more like a fight. It was all nails and teeth. Nothing you'd ever actually feel good about afterwards."

He closed his eyes, "I remember laying in the dark on more than one occasion just hating myself for what I was. For what we were." John opened his eyes to look at Anna, "I saw no way out of it. I was trapped and miserable and it was my own fault."

"But then you went to your father's funeral and changed?"

John nodded, "It was the tipping point. But Vera didn't like it."

"It's hard to justify your cruelty when there's no one being cruel back." Anna stroked a hand up her arm, "When you came back here, is that when you divorced?"

"After I resigned my commission I took up a job as a tutor, Biology specifically. Vera liked that even less and she left me. Six months later we were squabbling over small things in the divorce. When she was arrested in Germany I only posted her bail if she agreed to sign the forms. She did and then I came back to tutor again, feeling freer than I ever had."

"Did you love it?"

"It was a job but it helped me realize what I wanted."

"What was that?"

"What I do now." John paused, "You don't actually know what I do, do you?"

"I never asked."

"Well, I went into business with an old friend of mine, Charles Carson, and we developed a hybrid flower."

"You're a botanist as well?" Anna raised her eyebrow, "A man of many talents. What other surprises do you have?"

John grinned at her, "Many."

"Tell me more about this flower." Anna hopped on the desk, "What was so special about it?"

"It was the invention. I've always loved the creation process so creating something new like that fascinated me."

"You like creating?"

"It's why I worked as a translator." John shrugged, "I liked working with people and making things happen."

"So you built this empire on a hybridized flower?"

"No," John held up a finger, "I built my empire on flowers and chocolate."

"I didn't peg you for that level of romanticism."

"It sells."

"You built an empire on flowers and chocolate to do what?" Anna held up a hand, "Take over Valentine's Day?"

"It was a hope." They laughed together before John continued. "In all seriousness I got into the flower business and we created a hybrid rose that would grow all year round with minimal watering and a little less work."

"Doesn't that devalue the worth of a rose?"

"Not if no one knows." John teased, "Charles and I then split the business and I found a Mr. Laing who wanted to bring his chocolatiering enterprise abroad."

"And thus you became the face of romance?"

"I did indeed." John jerked a thumb out the back window, "The chocolatery we use for most of France and Germany is actually in that valley I showed you earlier."

"Explains why you mentioned not wanting to brag." Anna unfolded her arms and used them to lean back a bit on the desk, "But it's amazing what you've done. With all of this and to go from what you were to what you are. Not everyone can turn on a dime like that."

"Not everyone gets the chance to look in the mirror and realize the person they see staring back at them isn't the person they want looking at them." John stood, "But, I think we should go down for dinner or Mrs. Patmore's bound to throw a fit that her hard work's gone all to waste."

"And we wouldn't want that."

They both basked in dinner and then wandered back to the library to sit in front of one of the fires. Anna clutched the borrowed sweater closer as she pulled her feet up onto the chair and caught John looking at her, "What?"

"Do you ever think that a moment of temporary misfortune turned out to be a blessing in disguise?"

"I always believed that sometimes because we see our opportunities dressed like challenges we risk giving them up," Anna curled herself into the chair, "More than anything though I know of a dozen bad sports metaphors to explain a situation like this."

"What made you think I was talking about this?"

Anna pursed her lips, "Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, Mr. Bates. I've listened to you on and off for hours these last two days and if there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty it's that you always like to address a situation like a hypothetical to take the temperature of the room."

"Don't you?"

"Everyone does," Anna rolled her shoulders to get more comfortable in the armchair, "But you've got this way of immediately striking the heart of a conversation by saying something totally innocuous."

"Is that irritating?"

"No," Anna shook her head, "I find it forces people to know where they stand."

"And where do we stand?" John shifted enough in his chair to face her and Anna wanted to desperately to distract herself with the fire crackling just to her left but could not tear her gaze away. "If we're striking right to the core of the matter and we don't want to beat around the bush any longer, where do we stand?"

"Given that the last two days I've shared more about myself with you than any blood relative I have?" Anna adjusted in her seat to put her hand over John's on the arm of his chair, "I'd say we stand pretty close."

John took her hand to his mouth and kissed it, "I'd say the same."

"Then why didn't you?" Anna kept her hand in his, convinced the house could burn down and she still would not move. "Why not just say what you want?"

"Because people like me don't deserve those things."

"That's a lie," Anna lowered her voice, leaning closer, "If you think that your past sins, or what you deem as your past sins, demand you live a life of loneliness and misery here in the middle of nowhere then that's your prerogative but I want you to make the decision in the full knowledge that the only person who'd stop you from happiness in that is you."

"You believe that?"

"I believe no one deserves anything and it's all the grace of God Mr. Bates." Anna lifted her hand to his face, "The only difference between our seats, other than our gender, is because of the truth in the simple phrase, 'there but for the grace of God there go I' and nothing else."

"I don't believe that." John drew her hand from his cheek to hold in his, "You deserve so much."

"You barely know me, Mr. Bates."

"I know enough. I know that you've endured more than anyone has a right to endure, and you thrived. You rose above whatever determined to keep you down and you triumphed."

"As did you," Anna pulled at his hands to force him to look at her, "Don't think I just liked the sound of your voice for two days. I was listening too. I heard what you've overcome, what you've done, and how you triumphed."

"But who I was-"

"Is not who you are now. Whoever that man was died a long time ago." Anna waved it off, "That man you were when you married Vera or when you were like your father, or when you felt at your worst, he died when you changed. That man dies everyday you live a new life."

"He's never really dead."

"Then you kill him afresh everyday." Anna searched his eyes, "Whatever horrible things led you to believe you're not worth love and affection are poison, Mr. Bates. You need to believe, right now, that whatever you see in me is what I see in you, without question or second thought."

"Perfection?" He scoffed, "No one could think-"

Anna pulled his hands and John's body slid in the chair. She used the moment to escape his grip and grab the back of his neck. Pulling his face to hers she took control of his mouth and immediately kissed him with all the energy and emotion she could muster.

John grunted into the kiss but Anna did not let go, forcing him to remain in place as she ran her tongue over his bottom lip. When he gasped in surprise she stole her tongue inside and sucked at his. The only response he could manage was to put his hands on her neck and tilt his head to meet her kiss.

When Anna pulled away she dragged her teeth over his bottom lip. He only stared at her as Anna positioned herself far enough back to look in his eyes. "I think so and that's all that matters."

John's hand ran up to her cheek, tracing over her cheekbone with his thumb, "I won't convince you otherwise will I?"

"No," Anna shook her head, laughing a bit, "And, if you're not too exhausted, I think I'd like you to walk me to my room."

"That's right," John stood, taking his cane and offering her his left arm, "You've an early morning tomorrow."

"Earlier than I'd like." Anna took the arm and they walked out of the library and down the hall to her room.

"Is anytime before noon too early for you?"

"That depends," Anna put her hand on the doorknob but pivoted to look at John, her stance firm.

"Depends on what?"

"A few factors. Chief among them, who I have to look at when I wake up."

"That makes a difference?"

"A big one." Anna ran a finger up his shirt, "There are people I wouldn't give the time of day and others I'd wake up at dawn to see for even a moment."

"Could I consider myself a lucky member of the latter club?"

"There's a good chance." Anna clasped her hands behind his neck, her tongue running over her lips a minute, "Stay with me."

"What?" His voice was soft but Anna felt him shift beneath her.

"Stay with me tonight," Anna got on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "Please stay with me."

"And do what?"

"Whatever we want." Anna kissed his cheek, breathing in the smell of his skin, "Though I hope I'm not the forward one if I suggest something very scandalous if any of your staff caught us at it."

"Anna," John pulled back a moment, "If I go through that door with you, if I even attempt what I want to do with you, then I'll never be able to let you go."

"Then isn't it a good thing I don't want you to let me go, John?" Anna took the last step to have their bodies right next to one another, "Because I won't let you go."

Anna felt the wood of the door at her back the next moment as John surged forward to kiss her. His hands cupped around her face but touched her like one of his porcelain figurines. Caressing the pads of his slightly calloused fingers over her skin he continued to move his lips over hers. All Anna could do was respond and she did with vigor.

Her fumbled hand on the knob opened the door and they stumbled in slightly, John's cane falling to the ground. She grabbed it before he could and looped it over the knob as she shut the door and backed herself against it to pull him closer. John came willingly, not wanting to lose hold on her mouth again. Their breath panted in time as their chests touched on the inhale.

Anna wanted to feel more of him. With one hand still holding his cheek to keep his mouth on hers as their tongues battled one another, she ran her hand down to the first button on his shirt. He seemed so occupied by what they were doing that he did not take his sharp inhale of surprise until the tails of his shirt dangled out of his trousers and her hands kneaded into the skin of his chest.

Neither turned on the lights, using only the blue hue of the moonlight reflected on the snow outside to illuminate one another. Anna felt John pull away and almost whined as he did but when he used his hands to unbutton his cuffs and remove his shirt she could not complain. He stood still for her fingers to work over him, taking her time learning him by touch since she could not trust her eyes in the low light.

The tickle of his chest hair ran under her fingers and she weaved through it. Her lips on his skin tasted the scent that covered her all day when she wore his sweater. Under her caress, the pulse of his blood, the beat of his heart, and the heat wafting from him warmed her face and hands.

So consumed with the veritable treasure trove under her fingers, Anna jerked when his hands slid under her shirt. It bunched at her back as his fingers trailed up to her bra strap. He slid back down, easing around to the front before skimming to trace the underwire of her bra.

Anna pushed off John's chest and drew the sweater over her head. It fell to the floor on top of his shirt and before he could say another word she pulled her shirt off to build the pile higher. She heard his nostrils flare and the vibrations on her skin betrayed the tremble to his fingers. Placing her hands over his, she guided him to her bra clasp and pulled it open before allowing the straps to slip from her arms and the article to drift to the floor.

When it fell to the ground John's eyes met hers. In the lowlight there were pinpricks in the darkness but she nodded and his hands delicately worked upward to hold her breasts in his gentle grip. His thumbs flicked over her nipples and Anna let her head fall backward to bask in the sensation. Another touch, this time pinching slightly, left her moaning and running her hands up his arms to grab at his shoulders.

John shifted under her, bending his back so Anna traced her fingers down the glowing and shifting muscles there. His mouth kissed down her neck, licking at her collarbone as Anna dug her nails into his skin. When he sucked a nipple into his mouth Anna almost fell back against the door.

His hands moved to her trousers, pulling the button apart and the zipper slid down. The sounds were intruders, peeking in at something so private sounds invaded their sanctuary. Anna risked a second to kick her trousers off as John rose, kissing his way to her neck while his hands stayed low. Her fingers scrambled at his fastenings and a moment later the glow of blue light reflected on his white underwear. She pushed down and slipped her fingers under the elastic. The fabric moved around her hand as he twitched just south of her position.

John's fingers froze at her hips and Anna lifted her head to stare into his eyes. After a nod that John returned, he stepped back to pushing his trousers and pants down his legs. Anna could not see him but it almost did not matter since the heat from him, and from herself, sent a flush to her skin.

He stayed still, as if needing a cue to continue. Anna grabbed the edge of her knickers and pulled the material down her legs to the floor. In a step out of them, and toward him, Anna felt they were both on the edge. This was the moment of truth. Her hand went to his face and she left the softest of kisses on his lips as a signal to continue.

John did not disappoint. He reached out his hands to hold hers, pulling her toward him as he limped slightly back toward the bed. Anna risked a moment to berate herself leaving his cane on the door, but the thought vanished as he sat on the bed and tugged gently on her hand to have her straddle him.

Anna slid forward, feeling his pulsing heat trapped between them, and took his neck in her hands to gain control of his mouth. His hands sculpted over her back, lingering his light touches on any part of her skin he could massage. She sucked at his tongue, ran her fingers in his hair, and rubbed herself against him as if she wanted to sink into the man holding her like she was all that mattered in the world.

One of John's hands ran lower, tracing over her ass to squeeze there a moment. Anna broke the kiss to moan and John seized his chance to lave his tongue over her neck and chest. She held him to her as he took his time sucking kisses over her breasts before suckling each of her nipples in alternating patterns. In moments Anna writhed against him, seeking relief without words since she could not trust herself to speak.

But he already knew her better than she hoped. One of his hands teased at her entrance and Anna tossed her head back to call his name to the darkness. Between teeth and tongue he kept her on edge while his fingers massaged her folds before prying them apart. Anna shifted, opening to him, and cried out when his fingers entered her.

Her nails scraped over his shoulders in time to the thrust of his fingers inside her and the flick of his thumb at her nerves. John pulled from her breast, kissing up her neck to her ear and biting down as he stretched her with a third finger. Anna whimpered and bit her lip but John put this other hand to her chin, pulling down.

"Don't keep quiet Anna. Let me hear you. I can't see you so I need to know how you feel. I can only do that if I can hear you."

Anna groaned and her hips met the work of his fingers with wild abandon. When John bit lightly on her shoulder she shattered. Her legs clenched to match the tightening of her inner walls on his fingers but John rode it out.

Her chest slowed and John turned them enough to lay Anna on the bed. He moved over her, kissing at her mouth slowly. Anna tugged him closer, sliding her leg up to his hip and drawing him to her body. He settled between her legs, sliding himself just barely over her.

Anna lifted her legs higher, trying to force him forward. John moved almost glacially to place himself right where she wanted him. He broke their kiss and held himself just out of her reach. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life John." Anna used his shoulders to lift herself to his ear, "Please make me yours because I never want to be anyone else's ever again."

John claimed her mouth and plunged into her. Anna moaned, feeling him settle where she felt her body might just erupt from the heat. They paused, each basking in the newest of sensations, before John drew out to repeat his motion. Anna raised her legs, locking them around his waist to take him deeper, and heard John groan.

Her hands clung to his shoulders, sweeping down to dig into his ass. If it were possible John only moved faster after that. His drives were careful, fast, and deep. Anna arched her back, all of her nerves zinging as the pleasure coursed in her blood to send her spiraling higher. When John's motions ran as ragged as his breathing Anna tightened her hold on him and risked a hand toward her center.

He caught her hand, pulling it away to replace with his own. His fingers pressed and massaged, stroking over her until Anna's lungs constricted. White burst behind her eyes and a moment later she felt John release.

His body slumped slightly, struggling to hold himself over her. Anna adjusted his arm and he lay on top of her. When John tried to move away she clung tighter.

"Not yet." She whispered in his ear, "I need you as close as I can get you tonight."

"I'll crush you."

"I don't want to let you go yet." She him in the eye, only seeing the shadows over his face, "Please don't let go."

John stayed still a moment then wrapped his arms about her to tip them both sideways. He slipped free and pulled her to him. "I won't. I'll never let go."


	7. Main Attraction

Anna opened her eyes, glaring at the phone alarm. She reached to shut it off but a weight on her waist stopped her. Looking down Anna smiled and saw John's arm there. She adjusted slightly and reached over to turn off the alarm before laying on her back to look at the face, half concealed by the pillow, of a truly satisfied man.

Smiling to herself Anna traced a finger down his nose. He twitched and John blinked his eyes open, squinting at Anna before smiling. "Good morning."

"Good morning."

"How early is it for you?" His arm at her waist tightened, sliding her over the sheets closer to him.

"Too early and yet not early enough to enjoy you like I want to." Anna ran a hand through his hair, "Though I'm afraid what your staff'll think. I wasn't quiet last night."

"They won't say anything." John moved his head on the pillow to see more of her, "To be honest, they were probably rooting for it."

"Really?"

John nodded, "Ms. Baxter and Mrs. Patmore are constantly suggesting women they know to me or setting me up on blind dates."

"Do they?"

"They think I'll get old and crotchety sitting alone in this house."

"You would." Anna teased and giggled as John tried to tickle her under the sheets. "But you've got me now so that won't be a problem anymore, I hope."

"I do have you." John's face dropped a little, "But you're leaving."

"As much as I think I'm falling in love with you, John," Anna curled her fingers in his hair, "I don't think I can just drop everything to live in your castle with you just yet. I have a job and I have responsibilities I have to get back to."

"But maybe one day?"

"Maybe." Anna sat up, "Just not today."

"I don't know." John took a deep breath, "You could go back and realize that you deserve much better than me."

Anna reached down to put her hands on either side of his face, "That will never happen."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I've never felt closer to anyone in my life and I don't think I'd just forget all that the moment I'm out of your sight." She shifted closer, "We're bonded on a soul-ular level."

John frowned, "Did you just make that word up?"

Anna nodded, "I did. I really did."

He grinned and lifted himself up enough to kiss her, "It was beautiful. Just like you."

"See," Anna stroked over his check, "Why would I leave that? There's not a chance I'll go away and never see you again when you flirt like that."

"So you'll come back?" John sat up too, facing her.

"Or you could come to London." Anna shifted to hold his hands in hers, "Either way, I think we're bound rather closely, you and I. Whatever happens that'll never change."

John kissed her knuckles, "No, I don't think it will."

Anna risked a look over her shoulder at the clock, "Under different circumstances I'd stay here and cuddle with you until they sent a search party but I've got a drive ahead of me and a long train ride."

"You do." John got off the bed and limped to his clothes and cane, dressing as much as he needed to cross the hall without sending anyone into shock. "When you're ready, come downstairs and we'll have something to feed you since train food is the worst."

"Alright," Anna smiled at him until John closed the door. When he had she threw herself back on the pillows, "I'm in so much trouble."

She packed the last of her clothes, hunting over her room for those missing pieces they flung everywhere the night before, and showered. She headed down the stairs, almost avoiding Phyllis and Moseley's gaze. Andy took her to the car case as she reached the kitchen and Anna conceded to Mrs. Patmore's forcing a box full of things to eat on the train. John joined her just as she finished and walked her to the garage where Andy had started the car so it was nice and warm when she got inside.

Anna buckled herself into the car as John leaned in the window, "Are you sure you don't want me to drive with you."

"Only because the logistics of it would be unfair to your poor staff." Anna put a hand to pull at the sweater she wore, "And I already stole your sweater. I don't think I'm allowed to steal you too."

"I guess they'd frown on that."

"Probably," Anna teased before calming, "You've got my number so call or text for anything."

"I will."

Anna paused, putting her hand to his cheek "Will you do something for me John?"

"For you, anything."

"Take care of yourself?"

"You've my word."

Anna kissed his cheek, "That's all I need."

He grabbed her hand as she went to take it back, "In the spirit of finding ways to be together, I'm traveling to Ireland next month. Would you like to go with me?"

"A holiday already?"

"It's," John chewed his lip, "It's a bit more personal and I've always gone alone before but I don't think I want to go alone this year."

Anna nodded at him, "I'll get the days for it."

"You will?"

"Of course. If you want me there then it's important and I want to support that." Anna glanced at her phone, "But text me the details because if I don't leave now I might miss the train."

"Go," John kissed her hand and released, "Call me as soon as you get on the train. Else I'll worry."

"We can't have that now can we?" Anna rolled the window back up and pulled out of the garage.

Her rearview mirror tempted her more than her front window as she left the lane and the house behind. The village seemed like a subject for a Christmas card painting, though it was the middle of February, and Anna drove carefully on the plowed but still hazard riddled roadways. The closer she got to Paris though, the avenues cleared and she made her train with time to spare.

The whole ride home she burrowed in the sweater, pulling a corner of it to her nose to smell it for traces of him. There was work in her briefcase she could do, emails ignored for two days, calls sent to voicemail on her phone, but she found herself straining to care about any of it. Instead, she dozed in the seat, his scent wrapped about her, until the train jerked into London station.

Given the late hour there were only a few people milling about so Anna wended her out of the station toward the cab line. She hailed one, handed him her bag, and crawled into the backseat, feeling the pull of her journey on her will to stay awake. She managed it, barely, and counted the change with difficulty as her vision blurred slightly.

The driver helped her out of the cab, handed over her bag, and Anna swayed slightly in the cold. It woke her up enough to get out the key to her building and choose the right floor on the elevator. The night watchmen at the front desk barely looked up from her screen when Anna came through the lobby. Even from a distance Anna could see the woman was set in for a night of binge watching.

Anna barely snorted and stepped into the elevator. When it dinged at her floor she stumbled out, rolling her bag behind her before fumbling her keys in the lock. Pushing her door open Anna left her bag in the hall, locked the door and made it to her bed. She managed to flip her shoes off, left her coat on the floor, and climbed under her covers with his sweater still wrapped around her.

* * *

A faint ringing tugged Anna from her sleep. She beat back the blanket in her face and frowned around the room, failing to find her phone in the right place. Sitting up she blinked, her face trapped in a scowl as she fumbled in her coat on the floor to retrieve her phone. Swiping it open she squinted to read the missed calls and clicked the first one.

Anna wove her fingers through her hair, brushing it out as she walked into her bathroom to check the damage in the mirror. She pulled the skin under her eyes down as the call connected. A woman's voice on the other end sounded, if possible, both relieved and interrogative.

"Anna, where have you been?"

"Good morning Elsie."

"Stop avoiding the question."

"I just said 'good morning'."

"Good morning to you too. Where have you been?"

"France," Anna stuck out her tongue in the mirror before sticking the phone between her ear and her shoulder to get her toothbrush. "I got in late last night."

"You went to France?"

"Business trip," Anna brushed at her teeth, almost sighing at the relief of the mint in her mouth over the cotton taste, "It was a bit last minute and then I was stranded an extra day because of a snow storm."

"Did you find a way to have fun while stranded?"

Anna paused, using the moment to spit into the sink, "Depends on what you mean by fun."

"You know exactly what I mean by fun, Anna May Smith."

"I thought only parents used the full name of children to get them to behave," Anna rinsed her mouth out, spitting again before replacing her toothbrush. "Last I checked me being dedicated to my occupation was behaving."

"Your behavior in a professional sense is not in question. I'm using it to stress something else."

"Such as?"

"That I hope you can guess how serious I am about you falling off the face of the earth. How does an adult of your generation forget how to use a phone?"

Anna sighed, rubbing at her face before working back into her room, "It wasn't like I went on extended holiday and forget to send pictures."

"But you didn't check your phone?"

"I was busy."

"Anna," Elsie huffed into the phone, "You're an adult, I understand, and I'm not your mother, but I do worry about you."

"I know." Anna sat on the edge of her bed, "And I really was… occupied."

"Was it all business Anna?"

Anna chewed the inside of her cheek, her eyes going back to her unmade bed and flicking down to the sweater she was wearing, "No."

"Did you have fun?"

Anna thought back to the night before last, "Some of it was really fun."

Elsie paused, "I know when you're being evasive Anna. I knew it when you had the right answer in class but didn't want to always be the one with your hand in the air and I know it now. There's a hitch in your voice."

Anna ran her hand through her hair again, "It's kind of a complicated story."

"Start at the beginning, I'm quick."

Anna flopped back on her bed, "I went to meet with one of our biggest investors. He stays anonymous and I'd never met him before but my boss needed someone he trusted, since everyone else was on vacation, I was last man standing."

"It's good to be trustworthy Anna."

"I know. But it did mean I went to present what we had to him and then I got stranded at his chateau or whatever for an extra day."

"A chateau? That sounds lovely."

"It was a pretty nice house but getting stranded isn't my idea of fun."

"Was it so awful?"

Anna shook her head, even though the woman on the other end couldn't see her. "No, it was wonderful."

"The why do you sound so conflicted Anna?"

"Because," Anna sat up, "Elsie he was wonderful. He listened to the whole presentation, he had brilliant questions, he was engaged… and then at dinner we discussed some really personal things. The same at breakfast and then he took me to his favorite spot on his property and…"

"And?"

"We kissed."

"That's hardly against the law Anna."

"But we barely know each other."

"And yet?"

"I feel like I've known him my whole life," Anna stood up, walking the length of her bedroom, "We went back to his house, he showed me his collections, we had another intense conversation through dinner, and afterward we sat together awhile before I invited him to my room."

"Did he accept?"

"Yes." Anna bit her lip, "I've never felt so close to someone in my whole life and it was like… like my life changed in an instant. I knew that if I didn't ask him to stay I'd regret it."

"So you did it?"

Anna scowled, "Are we in primary school?"

"I was trying not to say something you'd get all awkward about but, since you brought it up, did you have sex with a man you barely know?"

Anna closed her eyes, "Never mind, I take it back, I wish you'd stuck with the first sentence."

"Just answer the question Anna."

"Yes, we did."

"Then?"

"Then we woke up and I left to get back to my life."

"And that was it?"

"No." Anna could almost picture Elsie tapping her foot and waiting at the other end of the phone, "I can't get him out of my mind and I don't want to."

"Who says you have to?"

Anna stopped pacing the floor, "What?"

"If you met a man you like Anna then there's no problem in thinking about him." Elsie giggled, "I've had men I couldn't get out of my mind."

"Please don't tell me anymore about that." Anna rubbed at her eyes, "But he's in France, I'm in London, it's-"

"It's what you make of it, Anna. Distance and time are factors but it all really only depends on what you want. What do you value enough to give it up for the chance to see him?"

Anna dropped to the corner of her bed, "I don't know."

"I feel like you're about to tell me he already gave you a choice."

"I already agreed to go to Ireland with him next month."

"Then go."

"Aren't you supposed to tell me to act responsibly or something?"

"Sure. But I know you. If you don't go, you'll hold it against yourself forever."

Anna went to respond but felt her phone buzz in her hand. She pulled back and frowned at the unknown number texting her. Clicking on it Anna smile to see it was from John.

"Anna?"

Anna put the phone back to her ear, "I think I'm going to Ireland."

"I'd hope so. As I also hope to one day meet this man, if I can."

"Not sure we're to that stage yet."

"I leave it in your capable hands Anna. I hope you're well."

"Better than I've been in a long while."

"Good to hear."

The call clicked off and Anna tossed it to her bed, sighing before crawling back under the covers to sleep more.

* * *

Monday dawned earlier than Anna wanted but she pulled her lab coat on at work like always and addressed her emails. Someone swatted at her shoulder and Anna jumped in her chair to see Mary. "Good morning to you too."

"Why didn't you tell me Matthew was taking me to Paris and not Hampshire? I was ready to be horribly disappointed. He caught a picture of my surprised face. Why didn't you tell me so I could be prepared?"

"Because I know the value of a secret, Mary." Anna swiveled in her chair, "Was it everything you hoped?"

"It would've been if I could've gotten wasted with him." Mary glared down at her stomach, "I hope you're happy about everything Mummy's giving up for you."

"He will be, I'm sure." Anna turned back to her emails, tossing the adverts, "Did you finish the-"

"Hold on," Mary grabbed the back of Anna's chair and turned her, "I didn't hear how France was for you."

"Productive." Anna tried to move her chair but Mary held it back, "Mary we've got work to do."

"Not before you tell me what you thought of John."

"He says hello." Anna crossed her legs, "And he was nice."

"We heard about the snowstorm in Champagne." Mary lowered her voice as two men entered the lab. "What was it like staying at his house?"

"It was fine. They made me stay there the first night anyway because he refused to have me stay in the village." Anna snapped her fingers and pointed to the two men, "Tom, Henry, I need your updated reports."

"You'll have them by the end of the day." The taller of the two, worked his arm into his lab coat. "I heard the company sent you to France. How come they sent you and not me?"

"That's what happens when you're on holiday, Henry. You miss out." Anna turned back to Mary, "Why are you still standing here?"

"Because that sweater," Mary pointed to Anna's chest, "Is not yours and it's not your size."

Anna pulled her lab coat tighter around herself, "So?"

"So?" Mary threw up her hands, "It's a man's sweater, Anna."

"Men's clothing happens to have pockets, be better sized, and far more comfortable." Anna heard her phone vibrate and reached for it but Mary snatched it first. "Mary, give it back."

Mary glanced at the screen as her eyes widened. Anna closed her eyes, groaning. She peeked to see Mary scrolling through the conversation, her hand over her mouth. When Mary finally put the phone down her hand shook slightly. She grabbed a stool and dragged it next to Anna.

Putting her hands on Anna's Mary looked at her, "Please tell me that the man in your phone, currently labeled as 'John Bates' just happens to be a coincidental name for a man you met in France who's actually an underwear model for Calvin Klein or something. Because the reason he's texting you about sharing a jacuzzi and a king-sized bed make a lot more sense."

"That would be lying, Mary," Anna took her phone back and opened up the security settings, "And I'm changing my password."

"It better not be his birthday. Or," Mary snapped her fingers, "If it is, you can realize exactly how batshit crazy it is for you to be pursuing a man old enough to be your father."

"He's not old enough to be my father."

"He's seventeen years older than you Anna."

"And since I'm over eighteen I'm fair game." Anna set her phone back down, "And it's not his birthday so good luck trying to figure it out."

"What happened there?"

"I made a friend."

"Anna, my friends don't offer to do those kinds of things to me."

Anna shrugged, "Maybe you've got the wrong friends."

Mary scowled, "Did you sleep with him?"

"There was a bit where we slept, yes."

"You know what I mean."

"If you're asking, 'did I shag our big investor' then yes, I did. And," Anna leaned toward Mary, "I liked it. A lot. Probably the best I've ever had."

"Ugh!" Mary shook her head, "I'm not hearing that my friend, who's refused dates with at least five eligible men, would go to France and bang my father's old University buddy."

"Then stop listening." Anna pointed a finger at her, "And don't take my phone if you don't want the details of the conversation."

"He's crippled, Anna."

"Not where it counts."

Mary faked a vomit, "I can't believe you just said that."

"Well I did." Anna fished through a few more emails before looking back to Mary, "Why do you care anyway?"

"There's an ethical problem. Not to mention an age problem, a distance problem, and a compatibility problem."

"They're not problems, Mary." Anna ticked off on her fingers, "First, he's not my boss and our relations have no impact on the work I do or his investment. Second, age is just a number unless you're under eighteen or over sixty. Third, distance means a lot less when you can call or text or email or Skype. Fourth, we're more compatible than anyone you ever tried to get into my trousers."

"That's not fair. I never said you should sleep with the guys I had you try and date."

"I don't think you told Gaston that."

"Green, his name is Green."

"Whatever," Anna waved her hand, "Your opinion about the relationship I may or may not develop with John Bates is irrelevant."

"Anna," Mary put a hand on her arm, "I don't want you agreeing to tote around baggage that's not yours to bear."

"That's the thing Mary," Anna put her hand over Mary's, "I asked to. I'm carrying his and he's carrying mine. And you know what?"

"What?"

"It's easier to carry now."

Mary sighed, "So you're going to stay in contact with him?"

"I'm going to Ireland next month with him."

"Ireland?"

"Who's talking about Ireland?" Tom came over, "Are you going to the Emerald Isle Anna?"

"Next month."

"I hope you're going to Dublin for St. Patty's Day," Tom beamed, "Best festival I ever went to. I was buzzed for three days and never had more fun."

"My tolerance isn't that high." Anna pointed to the benches, "Back to work, everyone. We've got results to collect."

"Yes," Mary pursed her lips, "We want to keep our investors happy."

Anna glared at Mary and turned back to her computer.

Despite the scowls and glares Mary kept shooting Anna throughout the day she could not bring down Anna's mood. Even the traffic on the Tube did nothing to dampen Anna's spirits. What did, was the afternoon phone call.

Anna juggled her bags in her hand, reaching for her ringing phone. She swiped and put it to her ear, ignoring the caller id. "Hello?"

"Anna Smith?"

"Yes," Anna fumbled her purse onto the small table in her hall and took out what she needed. "May I ask who this is?"

"Doctor Green. Your friend, Doctor Crawley, introduced us." Anna stopped, holding the phone away from her ear a moment before replacing it.

"I remember."

"Well, you gave me your card and I thought I'd ring up and see if you wanted to get a drink with me."

"I remember my card only having my business number on it."

There was silence a moment, "Yes, I called there and Doctor Crawley gave me your mobile number."

"Did she?" Anna ground her teeth.

"Yes. I told her it was imperative I get in touch with you."

"Is this for a business meeting?" Anna set her things on her desk, plugging in all the relevant tools to charge before slipping out of her heels.

"No, for a date."

"A date?"

"Yes. Drinks, if you want, or dinner too and we'll see where it goes."

"Thank you for the offer, Doctor Green, but I'm afraid I'm too busy for that at this time."

"We can schedule at your convenience. I'm pretty flexible."

Anna shook her head, "Doctor Green, as charming as it was to meet you I'm already in a relationship and it'd be inappropriate to meet you for drinks. Thank you for the offer but I'd prefer you only call this number for business purposes in the future. Have a good evening."

Without waiting for him to hang up she ended the call and dropped her phone on her desk. Anna needed to take a minute before she called Mary to rip her a new one. She was not even a step away from her desk when it rang again. Sighing she picked it up, "Listen, I'm not interested."

"That's a shame because I thought you still wanted to go to Ireland with me."

Anna sank onto her couch, putting her hand on her forehead, "I'm sorry I thought you were someone else."

"Entertaining suitors already, Doctor?"

"No I just didn't screen the call."

"They have caller id to avoid just that kind of thing you know."

"It didn't look," Anna let out a breath, "It's been a long day."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know, do you want to hear how Mary now knows all the things you offered to do to me in the privacy of our hotel room? Or how she thinks that me dating you is a bad idea? Or how I was just propositioned by someone she tried to set me up with two months ago? Or how she gave him my mobile number?"

"Whatever order you like."

Anna smiled, "Are you always this perfect?"

"I believe that charm gets a person everywhere."

"You're on the right track." Anna got comfortable on the couch, "So what exactly do you want to do to me in Ireland?"


	8. The Green Hills of Ireland

Anna swiped her finger across the screen and resettled in the airport chair.

"It doesn't matter how much you shift. You can never get comfortable in these things." Anna turned her head up and a smile broke over her face as John pointed to the seat where her carry-on perched, "May I?"

"Well I was saving it for someone."

"Someone special?"

"You could say that." She grinned, removing her bag, "But since you're here I don't think I'll wait for him anymore."

"Oh," John sat, stretching his right leg and tipping his cane on her roller bag. "So are you close to this gentlemen you've decided to abandon to find his own seat?"

"I think so." Anna put her iPad away, "We spent a lovely two days at his chateau in France."

"Sounds romantic."

"It was." She shifted closer, leaning on his shoulder, "And he calls me every day and when he can't call he texts."

"Must be exhausting."

Anna shrugged, "I like the attention."

"And this is the man whose seat you'd give a stranger?"

"But you're so cute I didn't see the harm." Anna grinned at him as John reached over to tickle her. She twisted away from him and he grabbed her hand, interlacing their fingers and pulling her knuckles to his mouth to kiss them.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." Anna kissed him and settled back on his shoulder, "Though you didn't have to pay for my ticket. I could've done that."

"I get miles and it made sure we were in the same section of the plane." John argued and pulled out his own ticket, "I don't want to share first class with just anyone."

"I've never ridden in first class."

"Never?"

Anna shook her head, "I never saw the point. I've never had a flight longer than two hours so why spend all that money on seats that only really give you an advantage if you're flying across the world?"

"Then one day we'll have to fly across the world to justify some first-class seats."

"Isn't that thinking a bit far ahead?" Anna twisted her head to see him clearly, "We've only just met… technically speaking."

"And yet you're flying to Ireland with me on holiday." John sobered, "If you think it's too fast I can-"

"John," Anna pulled his hand into her lap, "I'm just having you on."

He wrapped her hands in his, looking her in the eye, "If, at any moment, you feel we're moving too fast I want you to say something."

"As I recall I was the one who invited you to stay the night in my room… and had my way with you."

"I think we were both enthusiastic participants in that."

"We're we just though?" Anna kissed his cheek, "But yes, I promise if I feel it's too fast I'll say something."

"Good."

"Don't think I'll have to though."

"Just in case." John settled back in the seat, stretching his leg. "We should've gotten seats in the lounge. These chairs don't do my leg any favors."

Anna chewed her lip a minute, "What exactly happened to your leg?"

"You mean what did Vera do to it?"

"I guess."

"Medically they called it an infarction." John paused, "I assume you know what that means."

"I studied oncology but, if I remember the first years of medical school, it's an embolism. In this case I'd guess in your leg."

"It affected my quadriceps and almost went necrotic." John massaged his leg, "She'd gone on the piss and came home in a rage. I tried to calm her but she threw one of my statues from Easter Island at me. It was a pretty heavy, stone, piece and I tried to catch it but didn't quite move fast enough."

"It struck you?"

"At first I thought it was just extreme bruising but then I woke up one night in terrible pain. Moseley actually drove me to hospital since Vera was out, and they found the muscles already turning necrotic from muscle death." Anna stroked up John's arm and he looked down at his leg. "They removed quite a bit of the muscle and since then I've used this."

John held up the cane and Anna actually looked at it for the first time. "Did you buy this specially made?"

"It actually belonged to my grandfather." John smoothed his hand over the Celtic carvings on the wood, "It was then my father's and then mine."

"Not the best way to get a family heirloom."

"I was angry for a long time and I had to complete a round of physical therapy but now," John sighed, "It is what it is."

"And we are who we are." Anna held herself closer to him.

"Yes we are."

They sat together until the airline called for first class. Anna grabbed John's duffle and her handbag. He tried to argue but she pointed to her roller bag. "You can push that for me."

He frowned at her but Anna only kissed his pout, "You'll make me feel useless."

"What's useless about handling my bags? Don't all boyfriends grow to that stage?"

"Are we there yet?"

Anna shrugged, "Maybe."

They walked the down the corridor and took their seats in first class. John immediately tipped his seat back to stretch his leg and Anna took his hand. "Is this why you insisted on first-class?"

"If I sit in anything less than business I get cramps. Usually those can get walked off or stretched out but the bigger worry is another embolism. If I get one big enough it could mean I lose my leg or, worse-"

"You'd die." Anna clutched his hand, "I didn't forget that much from medical school."

"Don't worry," John pulled her close, "I don't intend to leave you to your other man just yet."

"Other man?" Anna pushed back, narrowing her eyes, "What other man?"

"The one whose seat I took. The seat you were saving in the waiting area." John kept a straight face and Anna swatted at him.

"You must think you're so funny John Bates."

"I do." He smiled, sitting back in his chair as Anna extracted her iPad again, pulling up her reading. "Aren't you going to talk to me?"

"I don't talk to strangers." Anna didn't look over at him, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

"I see." His fingers trailed up her arm and Anna struggled not to respond. "Then why are you sitting so close to me?"

"Just a habit." She turned another page, though she really could not say what she just read. "I can move if you-"

"No, by all means," John shifted in his chair, "I like meeting new people on planes. Though I have to warn you, I fall asleep quickly on planes and then tend to snore."

"Loudly?"

John leaned over to whisper in her ear, sending a shiver Anna could not suppress up her spine, "You tell me."

Anna turned and kissed him, "Not loudly enough to bother me."

They settled into their seats and, as John promised, he was asleep before they finished take off. Anna took a minute to watch him sleep, the lines in his face fading as he relaxed. She leaned over so his head landed on her shoulder and she put her cheek on his hair. His hands still held hers, though his fingers had released some of their grip, and Anna stroked over the skin there. Her iPad screen darkened but she forgot all about her book as they just stayed in their own little world.

John jerked slightly when they touched down and Anna rubbed at his shoulders when he blinked, trying to wake up. "We there?"

"Yes, we're landing." Anna handed him his cane, "I was wondering what loud noise I'd need to use since the engines obviously weren't enough to keep you from dreamland."

"Just your voice would be enough to reach me anywhere." John whispered and Anna clicked her tongue through her teeth at him.

"You're such a charmer."

"Winning over hearts and minds you know."

"You've already won mine." They grabbed their things and Anna let John lead the way out of the plane.

They ignored baggage claim, with their carry-ons all they needed, and headed to the exit. John pointed toward a man holding a sign with his name on it and shook the man's hand. "Good to see you again Laing."

"Pleasure to have you in Ireland again sir. May I take your bags?" Anna handed over John's duffle and he wheeled her roller bag into Laing's grip. Grabbing them with confidence he nodded toward the doors, "This way."

They followed Laing to a black car and he opened the back door for them before placing their bags in the trunk. John slid into the car first, stretching his leg along the floor while Anna joined him. The trunk shut and Anna went to grab the door but pulled her hand back as Laing shut it before she could.

"Very efficient your man."

"Usually." John buckled his seatbelt, "I only ever use him."

"Why?"

"Not a talker."

"That's important in a driver?"

John turned to the window and Anna watched his face fall a bit, "For this it is."

Anna bit her tongue and just took John's hand in hers. He gripped tightly a moment before loosening, but not releasing, her hand. They drove in silence through Dublin and toward one of the smaller villages. Before they entered it the car pulled off the main road and followed an older track toward a hill dotted with shapes Anna soon recognized as gravestones.

The car pulled to a stop and the driver opened the partition, "Do you want me to wait here like always Mr. Bates?"

"Yes, thank you Laing." John opened his door and set his cane on the ground to support him as he got out. When he stood outside he extended a hand to Anna. "Would you like to come?"

Anna nodded and took his hand, sliding out of the car. John's cane crunched in the gravel as they walked up the hill. John weaved them through the stones and stopped at one set at a slant out of the ground. He stood in front of it and Anna joined him, reading the names on the stone.

"You buried your parents here?"

"Ireland was their real home, not England. They deserved to be buried with their family." John motioned to the stones around them. "This is the family cemetery. Generations of my family are buried here and it seemed a fitting place for them."

"I agree." Anna held her own hands, leaving John to take his moment, leaning on his cane.

"I don't mean to be morbid, bringing you to a graveyard."

'It's hardly morbid." Anna gestured to the headstone, "This is your family. They deserve respect."

"They do." John nodded and faced Anna, "And I don't give it to them."

"What do you mean?"

He hung his head, "I told you I quit drinking but that's not entirely true." Anna waited for John to continue, "Every year I come here, to visit my parents' grave on the anniversary of the day my mother died."

"Alone?"

"Vera never wanted to come. She never got on with my parents and my mother refused to allow her in the house when she almost ruined my father's wake." John brushed his hand over the top of the stone, "the anniversary of my mother's death is also the anniversary of the day I got the finalized divorce papers and finally felt free of Vera… which I thought was an odd coincidence."

"Or good fortune."

John snorted, "Or that."

"But that's not what you really want to say, is it?" Anna drew closer and took John's unoccupied hand, "What's really bothering you?"

Every year I come here, visit this spot, and then get blackout drunk to forget all the ways I failed her and my father."

"John-" Anna put her hands on either side of his face, "You haven't failed them."

"I did. But not anymore." John took Anna's hands and kissed them, looking in her eyes, "For the first time in five years I don't feel shame coming here. I don't need to go back to Dublin and drink myself into a stupor that because I don't feel like I'm failing her anymore. I don't feel lost anymore because I have you."

Anna wrapped her arms around his shoulders and John buried his head in her shoulder. Hot tears hit her shoulder but Anna did not let go. She stroked the back of his head, feeling the soft hair in her fingers while his arms wrapped around her. They stood there, locked together in grief, as the world moved around them.

Eventually John pulled away, staring at her hands. "I know we're nothing official and I know that there's a lot we'd still have to work out even if we were and maybe this is too much for you but," He stopped, taking a deep breath before meeting her eyes again, "My life changed the moment you walked into it and I don't want anyone else."

"I don't think I could ever want anyone else either." Anna glanced down at the headstone, "And I don't think they'd want you to think you're failing them because you're not."

"But after everything-"

"We all make mistakes, John. No one is perfect just like no one is young forever."

"You're staying young."

"You don't know how old I am." Anna teased and ran her hand down John's arm. "They'd want you to be happy, just like I do."

"You do?"

"Of course I do." Anna smiled, "Because I've never met anyone who makes me as happy as you do. I'd like to return the favor, if you'll let me."

John kissed her hands again, "Then we'd better go find other ways to be happy. This isn't the best place for joy."

"I think they'd share it if they could." Anna linked her arm with John's and they started back down the hill. "Though I do wonder, how much of Dublin one can reasonably see if they're too busy in the hotel room."

John's cane slid in the gravel and Anna grinned to herself.


	9. Investment-Reward

Anna heard a faint buzzing and turned in bed to turn off her phone. She squinted at the alarm and disabled all the others before shifting to look down at the sleeping man beside her. The sheets rumpled around them with half of the blanket pulled to her side and the others wrapped unevenly over him. Anna grinned to herself to see how the sheets tented around his waist.

Licking her lips, she slid as slowly and as quietly as she could down the bed, pulling the sheets with her. John barely shifted under her efforts and Anna thanked whatever good fortune gave her this unique opportunity. With careful hands she crawled up his body and lowered her weight to his legs. Mindful to put most of her weight on his left leg and not the scared and dimpled right, Anna settled over him.

Her hands immediately went to work. She stroked over his chest, burying her fingers in the hair there before running her nails down. John twitched and Anna smiled as his bodily reaction rose slightly toward her stomach. Massaging his chest only made Anna want to kiss his warm skin and soon she lowered her head to guide her lips over the well-worn paths of her hands.

With her sensitive lips and careful attentions, Anna imagined she could feel the pulse of John's blood under his skin. Soft, wet caresses of her lips and tongue worked over the muscles in time with the rise and fall of his chest. Though his breathing hitched at some of her more forceful movements, John remained asleep.

Anna took the risk and teethed over his nipple while her fingers ran down his sides. John adjusted, pressing his erection into Anna's stomach, and grunted but his eyes still remained closed. Wetting her lips again, Anna moved her kisses and body farther down his.

The slide of his pulsing shaft under her sent shivers through Anna and her core moistened. She bit her lip at the feel of him under her, failing to stop her hands wrapping themselves around his base. The vibration from his growl had Anna tightening her grip before she licked him from root to tip.

John's eyes flew open and Anna only smiled at his surprise. Sleep still maintained a partial hold over him and Anna wondered how much of what was about to happen he would attribute to a dream. When their eyes met Anna knew he was awake enough and she lowered her head again, running the tip of her tongue over his head before pressing into the already weeping slit. He groaned and threw his head back onto the pillow.

Anna worked her hand at the base while her other fingers stroked over his sack. John gasped, his knuckles as white as the sheets he mangled in his grip, and Anna took his head in her mouth. The shout ran through his whole body and Anna only licked more vigorously when she felt his reaction.

With his back arching under him Anna worried John might jackknife off the bed but he dug a hand into the headboard and clung there for dear life. Anna ran her teeth lightly over his skin before pulling as deeply as she could. His sobs reached her ears and drove her faster. Her hand worked with her mouth, pulling up with her hand as she did the same with her mouth and sliding back down to drive him to the edge while her fingers massaged his sack.

When she tasted more of his arousal Anna lifted her head with a final sucking pop. She noted how John's chest rose and fell like a racehorse while she lifted herself on her knees. Anna's fingers, those not still playing over him to feel the thickening in her grip, ran to her own arousal. She played with her folds, readying herself while she waited for John to gain a little more sanity.

As their eyes met again Anna adjusted their relative positions and sank down. John's formerly listless hands now grasped her waist and sought to control the thrusts he drove into her, striking as deeply as he could. Anna dug her nails into his chest, leaning forward slightly to alter their angle, and moaned as her new position had him rubbing over her sensitive nerves with his pubic bone.

One of John's hands came to her neck and moved into her hair so gently Anna thought she imagined it. But when John paused his movements, leaving her whining, he lifted himself to kiss her. Anna grappled her hands to his shoulders and dragged him closer to her so she sat fully astride him. With her feet now in position behind him she could control the gyrations of her hips and soon broke their kiss to cry out at the sensations rushing through her.

John continued the piston of his hips and even snuck his other hand, the one not holding Anna's neck in place to lather her throat in kisses, between them. His fingers pressed and rubbed at her in time with his thrusts to leave Anna clawing at his back. When he slipped a finger just inside her, Anna broke and the peak welcomed her with sincere pleasure.

Over the pounding of her heart and the rush of blood in her ears she could hear John calling her name during his final thrusts. Their bodies trembled slightly and Anna could barely shift back to look at John's face. He smiled at her, kissing her lips lightly before pulling away.

"Good morning."

"Good morning." She draped her arms over his shoulders, "I hope you don't mind me taking the liberty."

"If that's you taking the liberty I'd gladly have you do it again." John nipped at her neck and Anna shifted away, giggling. "What brought this on?"

"I forgot to turn off my alarm and decided that if I was awake I'd do something nice for you."

"You being here is nice for me."

"Well," Anna winked, "Something nicer."

"I thought last night was nice." John caressed his hands over her sides, "I seem to remember you thinking so too. Calling out my name like that."

"Yes and while you should be proud of yourself," Anna slid off him, "But I believe that one good turn deserves another."

"I remember three good turns."

"Keeping score Mr. Bates?" Anna slipped off the bed, "That's not very gentlemanly."

"Never said I was." He reached for his cane and eased out of bed while Anna tied the fuzzy bathrobe about herself. "But, if I were a gentleman, I'd ask you to take a tour of Dublin with me today, if that's alright."

"Perfectly." Anna kissed his cheek, "I'm going to shower if you'd be kind enough to order us breakfast."

"Your wish is my command."

When Anna emerged from the shower, drying her hair with a towel, John had breakfast spread over the small table. Anna waited for John to shower before they sat down for breakfast. John smiled to himself as Anna raised her glass to her mouth.

"What's got that grin plastered all over your face?"

"Other than sitting across the table from you?"

"Charmer," Anna took a drink, "And yes, other than that."

"Well," John leaned back in his chair, fingers twirling his cane in his left hand, "I was just thinking of the time we wasted showering separately."

"I think we'd use all the hot water if we showered together." Anna picked up a strip of bacon, biting at the end. "In fact I know we would."

"Be worth it not to have to waste time away from one another."

"But that's a necessity."

"Doesn't have to be."

Anna dropped the remainder of bacon on her plate and wiped her hands on a napkin. Setting the napkin on the table she folded her arms over her chest, "Is that what you really want?"

"What?"

"To not be away from one another?"

"It's absolutely what I want."

Anna swallowed, choosing her next words carefully, "Was that the purpose of this trip, John?"

John paused, setting his glass down, "Anna, I won't lie and say I don't have an ulterior motive here but it's not the one you're probably fearing right now."

"What would I be afraid of John?"

"That I asked you to come with me to Ireland to try and guilt you into taking on a more permanent location closer to me." John stopped, "Am I close?"

"Troublingly so."

"Well I'm not going to ask something as simplistically catastrophic as having you pick up stakes and move closer to me." John snorted, "For as deep a connection as we have with one another, we're not at that stage yet."

"But you'd like me closer?"

"If there was a way that you could come to France I'd be ecstatic, I won't lie." John reached over the table and took her hand, "But I'm not a fool and I wouldn't ask you to give up your work. It's important to you and, coincidently, it's important to me. Putting my desires over yours just to have you close so I can hold you while sitting in front of a fire or so I could wake up beside up in the morning isn't fair to either of us. And, if we're serious about this, we need to think fairly and logically."

"I think we need to know what serious is, John." Anna ran her thumb over his knuckles, "What we said in France hasn't changed for me but I also realize that the depth of emotions we have needs a foundation."

"Something more than just feelings?"

"We need trust, John, and no matter how deeply or quickly you fall in love with someone, you need to build trust."

John beamed at her, "You're in love with me Ms. Smith?"

Anna grinned back, "I rather think I might be perilously close to being in love with you, yes."

"Then let me propose something," John held up a finger with his free hand, "We continue what we have as it is. Without straining either of our schedules to ridiculous lengths, we take the time we need to be with one another. Everything else we solve with texts or calls or FaceTime or Skype or whatever we need to use. I'll even send you old fashioned letters if you want."

"You'd write me letters?"

"Everyday if you wanted me to." John held her hand with both of his now, "I don't want to lose what we have. It needs to grow, it needs to mature, and it needs time but I'm willing to give it my all if you are. We build the trust as carefully and slowly as we both need and then see where we stand. Is that enough for you?"

"No."

"No?"

"No," Anna used her free hand to pull John's neck closer so she could kiss him. When she pulled back she could not stop the smile that threatened to split her face in half, "It'll never be enough until I can have you all the time in a way that makes us both happy but, for now, it'll have to do."

"Don't sound so resigned."

"I'm not." Anna chuckled, "I was just thinking I need to change your contact in my phone to 'boyfriend' now."

John smiled, leaning in for another kiss, "I like the sound of that."

For the next two days they toured Dublin with John as the guide. Given how little time he actually spent in the city and how long it'd been since he really lived there, they got lost often but it just gave them chances to sneak kisses in back alleys or struggle to understand the city together. They even got roped into a few local celebrations of Saint Patrick's Day and Anna realized Branson's discussion about the liberal libations of the Irish on the best holiday of the year were not wrong.

On their last night they weaved through the crowds of people in various states of inebriation until they reached their hotel. Anna and John laughed together about the craziness of the holiday and had to keep their giggles quiet in the lift when two soused individuals started arguing loudly about which pub in the vicinity had the best party. They got off a floor before Anna and John but could still be heard in a heated argument on their trip down the hall.

When the doors closed Anna could not hold in her laughter any longer. "I think my favorite part is how they were arguing for the same point but couldn't realize it."

"Being drunk'll do that to you."

Anna paused, "Have you ever been that drunk?"

"More times than I can count." John whistled, "I usually preferred to drink until I blacked out though."

"Because of your marriage?" Anna cringed but John waved it off.

"Yes and no. I was always good at it and my marriage only made me a better drinker, which is not something you want to be I think. But that's the way of life."

"And now?"

"Never." John nodded at her, "Haven't you ever been drunk before?"

"Plenty of times my first and second year of Uni." Anna waved a hand, "Girl like me, with Mary at my side, we had free drinks all night long from poor souls hoping it'd earn them more than a dance."

"Any of them get more?" John moved closer and Anna pursed her lips.

"A few."

"And did you like them?"

"Are you jealous Mr. Bates?"

He shrugged, "Maybe a little."

Anna snorted, "I know you're supposed to wear green on this holiday but I don't think it's this particular shade and I don't think you'd wear that shade well."

"Maybe not," John ran a finger down Anna's cheek and she shivered. "But I honestly don't care about the boys you had at Uni."

"Why not?"

"Because I'd like to think you couldn't even remember their names when you're too busy calling mine." John lowered his head and sucked at Anna's neck.

Anna moaned, holding him to her even as the lift doors dinged open. She had to press the button hurriedly when the doors tried to close because John's attentions were otherwise occupied. Pulling at him Anna finally got them out of the lift but John just moved his attentions to her mouth.

He stroked his tongue along her lips, moving ever so gently with his mouth on hers. Anna speared her fingers in his hair, holding him close with the wall at her back. His tongue snuck into her mouth and Anna groaned to take it fully inside, pulling with her own to battle him for dominance a moment.

Just at the moment when she went to raise her leg John stopped her, pulling back. He put a finger to his lips and took her hand to lead her back to their room. Once inside he continued keeping her at arms length while shedding his coat and shoes on the floor with his socks. Anna, following his cue, left her coat and shoes behind her in the bedroom.

They padded into the bathroom and John released her hand for a moment to turn on the multiple showerheads, sending streams shooting from all sides. He turned back to Anna and lifted his shirt over his head, dropping both sweater and shirt on the floor. His fingers slipped the button on his trousers loose before yanking down the zipper. Anna could swear the sound echoed in multiplicity around the bathroom followed by the rasp of the material against his legs.

With his clothes dropped to the floor John propped his cane against the sinks before leaning to test the water in the shower. It almost seemed unnecessary since Anna could see the steam beginning to rise out of the glass enclosure. But John checked anyway, moving away after to shake off his hand before placing it gently at her waist.

Anna sighed, the warmth of his hand pleasant against her chilled skin. He waited for Anna to nod and pulled his sweater off her. John took a moment, massaging the material in his hands before bringing it to his nose. "It smells like you now."

"I could give it back."

"No," John set it on the counter before unbuttoning Anna's blouse, "It's yours now. You should keep it and think of me."

"I will."

"Good." John took her lips, keeping his kiss slow while he peeled Anna from her shirt and jeans. His hands stroked back up her legs to play with the elastic band of her knickers. "May I?"

"Please," Anna sighed, shutting her eyes to enjoy the slow slide of John's fingers against her while he removed her knickers and then her bra.

Standing in the fogging bathroom, warm from the hot water, Anna still felt her skin pimple in the atmosphere. John interlaced their fingers and tugged her toward the shower. She followed, unable to do anything else, and cried out as the warm spray hit her body from several directions at once.

The sensations were almost too intense but Anna forgot all about them as John's lips returned to hers. His kiss was fiercer than before. He no longer needed to coerce or convince her. This was his proof to her that she needed no one else but him and Anna enjoyed every minute of it.

She fought back, pushing him toward the wall jets and seizing control of his mouth for herself. He writhed, the pumping of the jets massaging his skin, and Anna thrust her tongue into his mouth while her hands kept their slippery hold at his neck. John's hands grabbed her waist, flexing his fingers against her skin, and slipped a leg between hers.

The move distracted Anna and John flipped their positions. With the water crashing down around them Anna cried out at the pleasure of the water kneading over her back until she sobbed at the feel of John's fingers playing over her folds. Anna tried to open her eyes but the careful manipulation of her folds in his hands as his lips closed over her breasts was almost more than she could handle.

Her hands slipped over his back, forcing her nails into his sides to keep a steady grip. His fingers plunged into her, driving up into her own wetness while their bodies glided against one another in the soaking of the spray. Anna moaned and spread her legs wider, grabbing at his wrist to force his motions where she wanted him most. John responded eagerly, sliding two other fingers to join the first and curl inside her.

Not to be undone, and struggling to remain in reality as John teased her, Anna slid her hand up his arm to wrap over his arousal. She pulled and pumped at him, the water making it hard to keep her hold light and not lose her purpose. John threw his head back, his on fingers faltering for a moment, and groaned out her name while Anna pressed her advantage.

A moment later John removed his fingers and lifted Anna against the wall. The scrape of the jets had her hissing but the exquisite pleasure of John sliding into her replaced the moment of pain. They paused there, in the artificial downpour, for a moment before John moved.

His thrusts struck deep, gravity aiding Anna in taking him in as far as she could. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him even closer, and lowered her head to kiss him. John responded with all the enthusiasm he could muster before breaking away to suckle at her nipples.

All the tactile pleasure and sensations finally drove Anna over the edge. She shrieked, the sound lost in the hail of water, but John heard it. He stopped, kissing her until he could no longer breathe. Anna pushed away, nodding furiously at him, and John let his control go. He pumped into her, driving her harder against the wall, and finally broke for himself with a few stuttering thrusts to finish.

John slumped his head against Anna's shoulder and she rested her head against the wall. Her whole body quivered but she felt John tremor in a different way, shifting his weight quickly. Anna worked her legs to the floor of the shower and moved, remembering John's leg, and put a hand out. John grabbed it, kissing lightly, and smiled at her.

"It's just a spasm, it'll be fine."

"But- just now… won't you be in pain?"

"Worth every minute of it." John gave her a quick kiss, "It's fine, I promise."

"Would you tell me if it wasn't?"

"Of course." John turned off a few of the jets and pulled Anna into the single surviving stream, "I wouldn't lie to my girlfriend."

"Good." Anna smiled at him, resting her head on his shoulder and holding his close until the water turned cold.


	10. Slippers of Gold

Anna flicked through the pages, counting carefully and then stapling them together. Handing them to Branson, she focused on the next set as he tucked them in a folder with a shake of his head. Anna snorted.

"Something you want to say Tom?"

"Just how pointless it is to bother making these when no one reads them. They go in bags and briefcases to be tossed the minute they get home. Or emptied out with hotel garbage."

"Then we pray they forget their plane reading." Anna smiled, "It's worth it."

"We do get to attend the charity ball." Branson nudged her, "You picked out your dress yet?"

"I hadn't thought about it actually," Anna stapled another set, "I was rather hoping to skip this year and maybe catch up on that elusive fiend, sleep."

"And disappoint all those people who want to hear you talk about the work we do until their eyelids droop?"

"Like I'll miss that."

"Then think of the children Anna." Mary entered the lab, reaching to take a stack of completed folders, "Because that's who this is really about."

"Right, and the 'mandatory attendance' part is just whatever is it?"

"You're just miffed you've got to give a little speech to everyone." Mary thumbed through her stack, counting with her mouth moving but no words coming out.

"And remind me, whose idea was that again?" Anna slapped down a stack of papers that Talbot scooped into his hands.

"Boss man's."

"I meant who put the idea in his head?" Anna glared at Mary but Talbot answered again.

"Mary's."

"That's right." Anna flipped through a stack of sheets before putting a hand on Mary's shoulder, "I need to talk to you."

"Is it going to be you yelling at me for you having to give a little speech about the work we did this year?"

"No."

"Then sure." Mary put down her stack and Anna led them to the edge of the lab while Branson and Talbot organized their stacks and headed out the door. Mary put her hands out, "What?"

"Why'd you give Green my number?"

"That was two months ago Anna."

"Month and a half but my question didn't change."

"I didn't see the harm in it."

"Well I do because he won't stop calling." Anna held up her phone, vibrating in her hold as if he knew they were talking about him, so Mary could see the stack of unanswered calls. "I've blocked his number but he keeps trying."

"Just tell him you're not interested."

"I already did. He didn't listen to me." Anna slipped her phone back into her pocket, "Look, I appreciate your desire for me to get on a date but I've a boyfriend and I don't need anyone else."

"Alright," Mary shrugged, "I'll talk to him and get him to back off."

"How are you going to do that?"

"I know his boss."

Anna scrunched her face, "Who?"

"Tony."

"Tony Gillingham? I thought they were just friends."

"Tony's also his boss." Mary waved a hand, "He owes me a favor and I can use that to my advantage so Green leaves you alone."

"Well, whatever you do, get it to stop because it's harassment and I don't want it anymore."

"Fine." Mary paused, "This boyfriend you're talking about, it wouldn't happen to be John Bates, would it?"

"I didn't go to Ireland with anyone else."

Mary groaned, "He's not for you Anna."

"I disagree and since I'm the one dating him that's my business, not yours."

"But Anna-"

"No," Anna held up a hand, "Get Green off my back and don't talk about John again. It's not your business and it's not your concern. If you don't like it, lump it."

"Fine." Mary huffed, "I just want what's best for you."

"He's what's best for me Mary." Anna grabbed her own stack, "Trust me."

They carried the remaining stacks to the lift and took it to the main floor where an assembly line of sorts prepped all the gift bags and files for the investors. Anna set her stack next to Mary's and whistled at the flurry of activity. "I always forget it's like this every year."

"Everyone's getting ready for tax day." Mary huffed, "They want to make sure they're getting maximum return on 'charitable contributions'."

"You make it sound like a bad thing that people get rewarded for the good they do." Anna counted the stacks and sighed, "I think we're a few short. I'm going to run down and grab them."

"Remember," Mary called after her, "It's in the Downton Ballroom and you have to be in fancy dress."

"I remember." Anna waved Mary off and hit the button for the lift.

All the labs were quiet relative to the noise upstairs and Anna quickly assembled the final packets. She only just made it back in time to get them on the delivery pile before the cars going to set up for the event sped away. Sighing to herself, Anna collected her things and braved the traffic across town to a small house.

Anna barely tapped on the door, using her key to open it, and smiled as the older woman immediately swept her into a hug. A familiar Scottish voice filled Anna's ears and the woman pulled away. She looked Anna over and gave n exasperated sigh. "What will I ever do with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were supposed to be here two hours ago. What could I possibly do now when you're letting the clock practically strike midnight before swooping in at the eleventh hour?"

"Help me get ready?" Anna cringed and the other woman scoffed.

"I hope you're not coming here thinking I'll be your Fairy Godmother for the evening because I'd need more hours in the day for that."

"But you are coming tonight, aren't you?"

"Oh course I am dear," She put her hands on Anna's arms, "I wouldn't miss seeing you give a speech for the world."

"It's just a charity ball Elsie and I'm basically plugging for our work. It's not really that important."

"I greatly disagree!" Elsie pulled Anna by the hand up a small set of stairs, "This is a grand occasion and needs to be celebrated accordingly."

Anna gasped and covered her mouth with her hands when she saw the dress Elsie had hanging in the closet of the small room. "I thought you said you weren't going to be Fairy Godmother tonight?"

"I'm not." Elsie gave a little self-satisfied smirk, "That was last week. Today I'm just doing the cleaning up."

Anna wrapped her arms around Elsie's shoulders, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. We've got to get you into it, get me in mine, get your hair done, and paint your face all before braving cross-town traffic." Elsie pushed Anna into the room, "Let's get started and pray for a bloody miracle."

A miracle was not what they needed in the end. They needed a teleporter. The traffic jammed them up the motorway and only by sheer luck, and Elsie's knowledge of side streets, did they manage to get themselves into the parking queue before the event began.

Anna smiled at the valet who opened her door and wrapped her shawl around herself, shivering slightly in the early spring air. She waited for Elsie to join her before grabbing the end of her shimmering dress and ascending the stairs. The dresses of the other women in attendance caught Elsie and Anna's eyes, leading them to whisper to one another and point out the ones they liked best, until the man at the door asked for their invitations.

Pulling them from her clutch Anna heard someone calling her name. She turned in surprise but failed to see anyone she immediately recognized. On her second go round she tried to hide her frown as a brunette-haired man came up the steps toward them. He flashed a smile at her before handing his ticket over to the man at the door.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Ms. Smith."

"It's 'Doctor' Smith, Dr. Green." Anna pulled her shawl tighter, "And I unfortunately cannot say the same."

"You haven't answered any of my calls."

"I thought you'd get the hint."

Green scoffed, "Hint?"

"That I'm not interested." Anna gestured toward the doors, "Now, the event's starting and I detest being late. Especially when I've a guest."

"Do you?" Anna shivered slightly at the jealous look on his face. "What's his name?"

" _Her_ name is Elsie and she's my mother." Anna put a hand out and felt Elsie's wrap in hers. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to enjoy our evening."

Anna and Elsie walked inside. Trying to steady her breathing Anna smiled at the donors she recognized, the scientists she met at conferences, and finally settled her eyes on Mary. She had her arm linked with a blonde man's, both chatting rather animatedly to Talbot and Branson in a corner.

Mary spotted them, waving both over, and immediately handed them champagne flutes. "So glad you could make it. I heard traffic was an absolute gridlock."

"It was." Elsie nodded at them, "But we got through it."

"Everyone," Anna gestured to Elsie, "This is Elsie. Elsie this is Mary, her husband Matthew, Henry, and Tom. Mary, Henry, and Tom work with me at Grantham Labs."

"Work under her you mean," Branson raised his glass to Elsie, "It's a pleasure to meet someone I've only seen in pictures on Anna's screensavers.

"That's flattering, thank you. And it's finally nice to put faces to names. Except Mary," Elsie nodded at Mary, "I remember you very well."

"I know. What a fiasco having Anna introduce us like we don't know each other." Mary leaned forward and kissed Elsie's cheek, "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you."

"Enjoying retirement?"

"It's quieter than I'd like."

"But you've got time for handicrafts." Mary pointed to Elsie and Anna's dresses, "I assume Anna's wearing your handiwork?"

"She is." Elsie tugged at Anna's shawl, "Please give them all a peek. I'm very proud of it."

Anna feigned the long-suffering child and removed her shawl to spin a little in the golden dress. She smiled at everyone and then froze when she heard a voice behind her. "As well you should be. It's beautiful."

"Thank you sir." Elsie gave the man her hand, "I think it doesn't hurt that she wears it well."

"No," Anna came face to face with John, "It doesn't hurt at all."

"I don't think we've been introduced." Elsie shook John's hand, bringing his attention back to her when she released her hold. "I'm Elsie Hughes, Anna's mother."

"What a sincere pleasure. I'm John Bates, investor."

"Investor?" Elsie darted her eyes to Anna a moment, "And what is it exactly you invest in at Grantham Labs?"

"The cancer research that your daughter and her team are doing." John offered his hand to the others around the circle. "About a month and a half ago I had the unique privilege of hosting Doctor Smith for a review of their work and found myself astoundingly impressed at the progress your lab is making."

"So you're the bloke giving us the money to watch mutated cells every day?" Talbot pumped John's hand, "I'm delighted you've given me a job sir."

"Robert gives the jobs. I just pay to keep the lights on."

"Whatever lights you keep on is enough for me." Branson shook John's hand enthusiastically, "And is that a hint of the homeland I hear in your voice?"

"Not as much as I hear in yours but yes, it is." John took his hand back, "My parents were Irish and insisted that no matter how far they lived from Ireland's shores that's what they'd always be."

"Long live the Emerald Isle!" Branson raised his glass and John nodded.

"Exactly."

"I'm curious Mr. Bates," Mary interjected and Anna scowled at her but she brushed it off. "I've never seen you attend our annual charity ball before. What kept you away? Or, perhaps the better question, what brought you this year?"

"Firstly I tend to be a more private person so I don't like all this hustle and bustle." John gestured to the decorations around them and the people in black tie. "More than that I detest black tie. I always have a problem finding a suit I actually want to spend hours of my life wearing."

"Here, here!" Matthew interjected and then immediately clinked glasses with Talbot. "I only bring this out three times a year and I really wonder what's the point."

"Is there a 'secondly'?" Mary pressed and Anna wished she were closer so she could nudge her bony elbow into Mary's equally bony side.

"Secondly I had business in London and thought prudence dictated we kill two birds with one stone when possible. The dates aligned just right and I finally attended." John pointed at Mary, "Your father was almost ecstatic that I made it."

"He would be." Mary gave Anna a look, "Was he the only one?"

"As far as I know." John nodded at the group, "It was a pleasure to meet the miracle workers trying to solve one of life's greatest mysteries."

"And what, to you, is one of life's greatest mysteries Mr. Bates?" Elsie asked and the whole group paused to hear the answer.

"To help us find ways to extend life so we can enjoy more of it with those we love." John waved to them, "Ladies, gentlemen, please excuse me."

Anna watched John leave the group and was only brought back to the present when Mary spoke again. "I guess that means we now have to go and debate the merits of our rubber chicken dinners."

Branson and Talbot moaned with her and Anna motioned Elsie forward. They found their table near the front of the room and Anna showed Elsie her seat next to a tall man with imposing eyebrows. He immediately stood and held out Elsie's chair for her.

"Madame."

"How polite," Elsie took her seat and Anna the one on the other side as the man sat as well. "And are you an investor or an employee?"

"Technically I'm a guest," The man's deep bass voice rumbled from his chest in a comforting way. "Name's Charles. Charles Carson."

"And, if it's not too bold to ask, whose guest are you Mr. Carson?" Elsie asked but Anna beat him to the answer.

"John Bates."

Carson's eyebrows threatened to join his receding hairline at the level of surprise. "How'd you know that?"

"Mr. Bates mentioned it when I met him. Said part of his business involved a hybrid flower he developed with a botanist. I assume that botanist is you."

"It is." Carson shuffled in his chair, "You and Mr. Bates must've got on rather well. He almost never mentions his work or the foundations of his fortune."

"Not out of embarrassment I hope." Elsie chuckled and Carson laughed too.

"No. He's just very private and doesn't want anyone to assume anything about him since he assumes very little about himself." Carson narrowed his eyes at Anna, "What else did he tell you?"

"That between his work with you and Mr. Laing in France he's basically the king of Valentine's Day."

"There's a lot of money to be made there and he's been smart about it. His work with me actually funds my current occupation." Carson dug in a pocket and passed Anna his business card. "With our work on the minimal watering roses we were able to take the process and develop strains of drought-resistant sorghum, cassava, wheat, rice, barley, and soy."

"Because that's what the world needs, more tasteless tofu." Anna closed her eyes in frustration as Green took the empty chair on her other side, leaving only two empty chairs at their table. "Fancy us sitting at the same table."

Anna sat back, "How much did you pay for this seat, Dr. Green?"

"A fair bit but it's worth it for your company."

"I'd say no price is too high for the pleasure of Doctor Smith's company." A dark haired man with a broad smile walked over and shook Anna's hand, "How are you Anna?"

"Better now that we have your research on hand Tony. It's set us leaps and bounds ahead of where we'd be otherwise." Anna looked around, "Where's Mabel?"

"She wasn't feeling well." Tony flexed his jaw before leaning in to whisper, "The baby's making it difficult for her to sleep and won't let her eat Indian food anymore so she's been in a bit of a funk."

"The first three months are always the hardest." Elsie interjected.

"Did Doctor Smith here give you trouble then Mrs. Smith?" Carson asked and Anna clasped her hands together to stop the tremor in them at the comment.

But Elsie, smiling, shook her head, "It's Mrs. Hughes, actually and no. Anna was always a good girl. For as long as I've known her she's been excellent and trouble free."

"At least while you were watching." Green sniggered and Anna slid her chair ever so slightly away from him. "We're all animals out of our parents' sight."

"Not Anna."

"Control her with an iron fist then did you?"

"Whatever I used was probably better than what your parents failed to do." Elsie turned to Green, "I imagine they just gave up on trying to control you. Would've been too much effort to bother."

Anna covered her mouth with her hand to try and hide the chuckles that Tony coughed through and Carson gasped at. Green reddened and shrugged his shoulders back as if he wanted to relieve himself of an unwelcome weight. The whole table had no idea where to look until the last chair pulled back.

John smiled at them all, "Sorry to arrive late and miss all the introductions. It's a ruddy pain trying to get all the way to the loo and back with this." He held up his cane, "But what can you do?"

"Doesn't something like that get you more attention?" Green snorted, "I'd have thought they had toilets for the disabled."

"They do but I think those in need should use them." John shrugged at his cane, "This is just a hindrance."

"Some hindrance."

Anna was spared the opportunity to jump to John's defense as someone cleared their throat. They all looked toward the stage, just behind Anna, and saw Robert Crawley calling the room to silence. He waved at them, tapping the microphone a moment to scattered laughter, and began.

"I want to welcome you all out the Grantham Labs annual charity ball. The plates before you represent investments in further research and donations tonight for both the silent auction and the raffle, all out in the lobby, will go to the charity we champion: Rosie's Rainbow Fund. Remember that those are the reasons why we do what we do."

The ballroom broke out in stronger applause and Robert waited for them to finish. "I think sometimes we forget, with eyes pressed to microscopes or balance sheets, why we do it all. So tonight, we have a special guest to help remind us. I'd like to give a few moments of our time to an old friend of mine and someone who helped grow Grantham to what it is now, John Bates."

Scattered clapping broke through the room as John collected his cane and joined Robert on stage. They shook hands and John took the podium. He coughed to the side and Anna shifted in her chair to see him better.

Green leaned toward her and Anna suppressed a shudder, "Is he one of the people we help?"

"No," Anna glared at him, "He's the person who helps."

"Looks in need of help himself."

"If you don't shut it you're going to need help. I'm trying to listen." Anna shook Green off and listened to John.

"I know that the vast majority of people in this room have neither seen nor heard of me before and that's usually how I like it. But this year I had the chance to attend and speak about an issue that lies very close to my heart." John gathered his breath, "My mother lost her battle to a vicious and determined enemy. Her body, through age and experience, didn't have the tools necessary to fight and she lived her last six months in varying states of pain and agony."

John's breath caught and Anna gripped the back of her chair, wishing she could go to him. Comfort him as she thought back to the well cared for grave and the woman John loved so much who lay there. But he gathered his voice, "Because of her suffering I took great interest in the work at Grantham Labs. I fund their work because what they do gives someone else a chance, slim as it may be, to escape that pain."

He laughed a little, "I know many people think that death is inevitable and in a way it is. We'll all die and that's the nature of life. However we can die with dignity, we can die peacefully, we can leave the world better because of the efforts we take to make it better for another. I believe the work Grantham Labs does, the work all here contribute to in whatever way they can, represents the intrepid consistency of the human spirit. All men must die but they need not die thinking we didn't do all we could. We work to live longer lives so we can do more with those we love and love those we do things with. That's why we're all here, to give the chance of one more day for us to live our dreams. Thank you."

Anna clapped as loudly as she could, blinking furiously to keep the tears from her eyes as John descended the stage. They locked eyes a moment and Anna smiled at him. He nodded at her before taking his seat next to Carson, Robert's voice breaking any chance they had to speak about what John just said.

"Now I know you all paid a ludicrous amount of money for the rubber chicken dinner and I don't want to delay it any longer." Robert paused, "Especially since it's actually sirloin."

Muted cheers echoed over the ballroom and Robert raised a hand, "I'm not joking, we really wanted to break the bank this year because, in the last fiscal year, Grantham Labs not only doubled its yearly earnings but it also broke the scientific community with five papers on the mutagens blockers we've developed and three patents for treatments getting their approval by this December for clinical trials."

Everyone cheered at that, Anna noticing how a few people around the room shook hands or slapped one another on the back. Robert waited for a moment of calm before continuing, "And, in recognition for the work done in her lab to enable many of these breakthroughs, I'd like to give the floor to Doctor Anna Smith, head of our Oncological Research Department."

Anna went to stand but felt someone pull her chair back. She turned to see John holding her chair. Anna could not suppress the smile that broke over her face as he offered her his hand to help her onto the stage.

Walking the length of it she shook Robert's hand and took her place before the podium. The spotlight blinded her to the crowd below, which was a mercy in its own way. Anna clutched her hands tightly to stop them shaking as her knee knocked a bit. The silence oppressed her but she finally let out a breath to begin.

"I think the best part about being in the lab is that I don't have to talk much. Things like this terrify me because I have so much to say and then the moment arrives and all my words vanish." Anna smiled and then focused on the base of the microphone as she adjusted it for a moment of delay.

"Mostly I have my eye pressed to the microscope, like Mr. Crawley said, and I forget about everything else." Anna licked her lips, "But sometimes I do forget what it's all for. I get so excited about the tiniest of breakthroughs, thinking we've cracked it all, just to look up and realize how much farther we've to go and I'll admit, it can get daunting. It can be cripplingly discouraging."

Anna brought her hands to the microphone, adjusting it a moment. "But, like Mr. Bates was kind enough to remind us, it's about the potential. There's a line, from a movie I enjoy, that says life is about the journey, not the destination. And that's hard to fathom when we're sitting at the bedside of a loved one losing the great battle. Or when we feel we walked our part of that journey for to short a time with someone we want to walk it all with us. And harder still when we realize all journeys must, inevitably, end."

She wiped at her eyes, "Sorry, I didn't expect to get emotional about this. Mostly because I can't say that I lost anyone in my life to something as invisible yet completely ravaging as the cancer I work to stop. I haven't lost a loved one to death. But something my work's helped me realize is that perhaps it's not losing them so much as helping them move on more peacefully."

Waiting a moment for it to sink in Anna took another breath, "There's a poem, by Nikita Gill, that I read at Uni. In it she says that perhaps we're just stardust with names and, when I think of the work I do, I think that I'm contributing to making our passage back to the stardust that formed us easier. We're not so much dying as we're changing back to the elements that formed us. As a scientist that's a horribly comforting thought. And that's the thought I want to leave with you, with my thanks for all you do to make my little hope of doing good in the world, a reality. Thank you."

Anna nodded at the crowd and headed back toward her table. The noise for her was definitely louder than for John but Anna wanted to return to the comfort of her seat all the same. Grabbing the end of her dress she went for the stairs only to have someone take her hand. Hoping to see John Anna was dashed to see Green.

His grip on her hand was too tight, his hold too sure, and Anna pulled from him the moment her heels touched the floor of the ballroom. She walked back toward her seat in what she hoped was a gait faster than he could catch up but instead he drew her to the side. Anna knocked away his hand and Green scowled.

"I was trying to be nice."

"It wasn't necessary." Anna folded her arms over her chest, "I don't need your help nor do I ask for it."

"You let the cripple help you."

"Because he's in a position to do so." Anna shook her head, "And he's not crippled."

"Anyone with a cane is a cripple."

"Keep talking about him that way and you'll be one." Anna turned when the door opened and a waiter pulled out of a door, balancing plates on the serving platter near his shoulder. "Now please, leave me alone."

"I'm trying to be nice and you're being very rude." Anna went to walk away but Green grabbed her arm. "I don't think you understand the efforts I took to make this happen."

"And I don't think you understand how little I care." Anna extricated herself from his grip. "I'm not interested."

"Why not? Got someone else?"

"Yes, like I told you when you called the first time, I'm in a relationship."

Green snorted, "With who?"

"It's 'with whom' and that'd be me." John stepped forward, "I believe she's been very polite in asking you to leave her alone."

"Step off cripple."

John stepped forward and Anna saw Green cower under the scrutiny. "I'll only say this once. Leave Doctor Smith alone or I'll make sure you need one of these."

The head of John's cane was in Green's face and he knocked it away, looking at Anna. He pointed to John, scoffing, "You can't seriously tell me that this old cripple'll make you happy."

"If you need to know," Anna held onto John's arm, "He makes me very happy."

Green threw up his hands, "Can't imagine how if you have to do all the work."

"Get out." John pointed to the door and Green laughed in his face.

"Too below the belt for you? Worried she'd find it somewhere else?"

"No," John shook his head, "I worry for you if you stay because I might just break your nose."

"Well you can't kick me out."

"I can." Anna's jaw dropped to see Mary coming to their aid, "And I second Mr. Bates's comment. Get out."

"You're just daddy's little agent in all this. You don't hold any power."

"Oh but I do." Mary turned over her shoulder, "Tony, would you come here a minute?"

Tony walked over, frowning at the gathering, "What's going on?"

"Perhaps you should ask your employee that since he's being rather belligerent and refusing to leave."

"Green," Tony shook his head, "How many times are you going to embarrass yourself and the company at these things? I warned you last time that if you did it again I'd have to fire you."

"Right, because you've got Daddy's money you think you've got power." Green pointed to himself, "I worked to be where I am."

"I don't care." Tony hissed, "You're still fired."

"You wouldn't fire me. I'm your top researcher."

"I'll find another." Tony pointed to the door, "Go, now."

Green gaped at them, "You're seriously going to side with them?"

"Because they're right."

Mary put a hand to her ear as all could hear a garbage lorry trundle past the open door as another server went about his rounds, "Look, it's your taxi. Perhaps you'd better hail it and get the hell out."

Green was practically snarling at them, "I paid for this seat."

"Then we'll get you a refund your selfish prick." Mary groaned, "Just sod off."

Green threw up his hands, spitting at them, "All of you can get stuffed."

"Get out Green, while you still have a shred of dignity. Even if you don't have a job." Tony pointed to the door. "I'll call security."

Green gave them one last growl and grabbed his things. His efforts to stomp away drew curious whispers after him but most ignored him. Anna covered her face with her hands, breathing out while trying to calm the thunder of her heart in her chest. John's hand rested lightly on her shoulder and she put her own over it, stroking there to comfort herself.

"I'm so sorry Anna," She turned to Tony. He looked absolutely flustered and thoroughly embarrassed. "If I'd known what Dr. Green was doing I'd have done something sooner I-"

"Tony," Anna put her hand on his arm, stepping out of John's hold, "It's not your fault. I'm actually sorry you have to go through the firing process with him."

"Me to." Tony groaned, "I don't want to pay the bleeder any severance."

Anna pointed back to their table, "I think our valuable sirloins might be getting cold and that'd be such a waste."

Tony proceeded them to the table and Anna held back a moment with John. "Thank you, for stepping in there."

"It was truly not a problem." John risked a brush of his fingers on her cheek, "I just wish that you didn't have to go through that."

"I don't know," Anna grinned, "The idea that my knight in shining armor came to defend me was rather nice."

"You don't need me to defend you."

"All the same," Anna smiled at him, "I liked it."

"Then perhaps," John edged closer to whisper to her, "You'd agree to stay with me tonight."

"Where?"

"I've got a room just upstairs." John pointed up, "It's one of the nicer suites with a large tub."

"Really?"

"Really," John led her back to the table where both of them stopped just short of sitting down.

Elsie and Carson were in deep discussion about something. Anna noted the sparkle in Elsie's eyes and the way Carson's lips twitched up in a perpetual smile. John moved around Anna, pulling her chair out, and Elsie barely acknowledged her before finishing her statement to Carson.

When she eventually did turn Anna had her chin perched on her interlaced fingers with her elbows on the table, "What took you so long to come down from the stage? It's only right there."

"I got a little distracted." Anna pointed between Elsie and Carson, "As, it appears, you did."

"Charles and I were talking since our whole table vanished and we're not exactly in our element here."

"You looked like you found an element all the same." Anna sniggered to herself and started cutting her meat.

Sneaking a peek at John she noted how he also tried to keep his laughter to himself. With Tony excusing himself early- claiming he needed to check on his wife- and Green gone, it left the two default couples. When music began Carson asked Elsie to share a round on the floor with him.

Anna stole Carson's seat as the other two started dancing, moving close enough to tap John on the shoulder, "I do think my mother's rather infatuated with your friend there."

"It's hard not to be, Carson's a good man." John turned over his shoulder to Anna, "I wish I could ask you to dance."

"Me too." Anna kissed his cheek, "But I'm alright sharing this moment with you instead. If that's enough for you."

John held her hand, "For now."

They continued chatting for a bit until Elsie and Carson came back to the table. Elsie bit her lip and Anna frowned at her. "What is it?"

"I was wondering if I could have the keys."

"Why?" Anna looked between Carson and Elsie a moment before her eyes flew open, "Oh my… shit."

"Anna!" Elsie reprimanded but Anna watched Elsie's face redden.

"Here," Anna fumbled with the keys and forced them toward Elsie, "Just take them. I'll get a ride. It's no problem."

"Thank you Anna." Elsie grinned at Carson and they hurried through the crowd of dancers to the exit.

Anna buried her face in her hands, shaking her head. "No, no, no, I'm never getting that image out of my head and it's never going to leave me."

"Hard to accept that older people still have-"

"Please don't say it," Anna removed her hands but her eyes were still closed, "I can't handle it if you say it out loud. If you do then I have to acknowledge it."

"Alight," John shifted in his chair and Anna opened her eyes. "Would you like me to take you home?"

"No," Anna leaned over him to take two plates of dessert the waiters brought around, and whispered in John's ear, "I want you to take me upstairs."

John grabbed his cane and Anna's shawl as she held the frosted cakes aloft, her thumbs clamped on the edges to keep the decorative forks in place. They laughed all the way to elevator and waited for an empty one. When they entered Anna snuck a kiss from John before holding up the cakes to defend herself from his return of affection.

"Ah, ah," She warned, "I'm not risking this dress."

"Tease." John ran his tongue over his teeth, "Now I just get to imagine you standing with it puddled at your feet."

"Cheeky."

"You started it." John warned.

They got off on his floor and John led them to his suite. His keycard opened the door and they hurried into the darkness. Anna waited just inside for John to turn on the lights but he only flicked one in the corner to give the room a dim edge.

Anna sauntered toward him, resting the two plates on the large bedside table, before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "You know, I really did enjoy the idea of you coming to my rescue."

"As I said, you didn't need it." John's arms moved up her back and found the zipper. He tugged it slowly downward, "You could've handled him yourself."

"That's not as much fun." Anna gasped when John's fingers tickled at her back. "I think you're trying to distract me."

"Is it working?" John leaned forward to kiss at her, "Because it's not a distraction unless you lose your train of thought."

"I can think of many things at once."

"Like what?" John kissed her neck with deliberately slow moves of his lips.

"How about your bowtie," Anna pulled it loose. "Or your waistcoat, or your jacket, or the buttons on your shirt?"

With each piece of clothing she said, Anna dropped them to the side, falling into the chair next to the light in the corner. John licked at her neck, setting his cane to dangle on the edge of the table, and nudged Anna backward toward the bed. Her knees hit and she stopped herself sitting as John moved his hands up her back to the shoulder straps of her dress.

"I don't want to ruin your dress," He slipped it over her shoulders and it puddled on the floor as promised.

"Me either." Anna sighed at John's fingers trailed to the top of her knickers. "Everything else is whatever."

"No." John turned her so her back was to his still clothed chest, "It's all important because you're pleasure is important."

"Really?" Anna shivered as John placed her hair over her shoulder, running his mouth over her shoulders. "How important?"

"Very." John played with the elastic of her knickers, "May I?"

"Please."

He took the sides and dragged them down her legs. Anna stepped out of them and went to remove her strappy heels but John stopped her. She went to ask why but John returned to her shoulders, holding her steady while kissing at her cheek.

"You'll need them."

John slid his hands down her arms and Anna leaned on the edge of the bed. The sound of John's zipper and belt set the hair on her arms standing on end. She moaned loud enough for the next suite to hear them when John slipped his fingers around her, massaging at her nerves and folds in time with the tracing of his lips over her back.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Anna closed her eyes to better focus on the feel of John's fingers prying her open, slipping on the wet result of her increasing arousal.

"Relax."

His voice sent a shiver through her and Anna cried out when John pressed forward. His fingers still played over her, driving sensations higher while he barely thrust in from behind. But what really drove Anna to the edge was the slowness of it. There was no frantic ferocity or frenetic fury. This was a gentle rock to the very depths of her; pulling out and plunging in with the speed of an unhurried man driving a woman to the edge of sanity.

Anna groaned into the bed sheets. The feel of him working over her, thrusting into her with a speed meant to drive her mad, and his ceaseless attentions to her back and shoulders with his lips left Anna panting. She tried to drive herself back, force his hand somehow, but John maintained his speed. Anna grunted against it but he teased her all the more for it.

When it all felt too much John finally pressed just hard enough at her nerves. She broke, almost sobbing at her release, and slumped forward. At the edge of her consciousness Anna felt John withdraw and help her onto the bed. With her whole body buzzing Anna could do little else but lay there.

However, it allowed her an unparalleled view of John as he stripped himself. With each piece of clothing removed Anna felt her limbs gathering strength again. By the time John limped to the end of the bed Anna had enough energy to stop him with a golden heel on his chest.

He grinned at her, stroking over her leg, "Do you want me to take them off?"

"I think you should. I don't remember any part of a fairy tale where the shoes were necessary in the bedroom."

"That you know of." John kissed her ankle near the clasp of her heel and slid it off her foot with care before turning to the other foot. "I could imagine any number of kinky scenarios that involve you in a pair of shoes with a bed involved."

"The higher the heel the better?"

"That's it. And there's leather involved."

"Scandalous."

"Intriguing." John dropped the shoes over the side of the bed and kissed up toward Anna's stomach. "But I think something else needs to go too."

"Oh," Anna ran her fingers in his hair, lifting herself as John's hands manipulated the clasp of her bra. "Does it have to?"

"I think so." John glided the bra off her. "Now we're even."

"Not quite." Anna dodged to the side, "You teased me and now it's my turn."

"What?"

"Sit up near the headboard." John sat with his back to the headboard, moving the requisite number of pillows behind him to keep himself comfortable.

He opened his hands, "Now what?"

"This." Anna brought one of the plates of cake forward and straddled his legs. "I don't want us to miss dessert."

"That'd just be unkind after all the work the caterers put into this." John agreed while Anna ran a finger through the frosting.

"I agree. Now hold still." Anna ran her frosting covered finger over John's lips but he surprised her and sucked her finger into his mouth. Both groaned but Anna extricated her finger all the same and pretended to glare, "That wasn't playing fair."

"We're not playing fair."

"I guess not." Anna took his lips, sucking the frosting off them before sitting back. "Then let's not play fair."

Anna used two fingers to paint a line of frosting down John's chest and followed it with her tongue. He moaned as her teeth nipped at his sensitive nipples before soothing them with her tongue. Another go of the frosting left a streak on John's neck and Anna removed it in a series of sucking motions that had John squirming beneath her.

Grinning with all her teeth showing Anna took a last dollop of frosting and applied it to the glistening head of John's arousal. She lowered her mouth and pulled it off, slipping her tongue over every bit of him to make sure she removed it all. As she finished, sitting up and running her tongue over her own lips, John was panting.

"How's it feel to not play fair?" Anna set the cake back down and put her hands on John's shoulders, positioned just above him so he teased at her entrance. "Do you like it?"

"No," John shook his head and grabbed Anna's hips. "Not at all."

With a thrust John joined them and Anna's head went back. John pressed his advantage and immediately set to kissing over Anna's breasts. No patch of skin was left unloved or unlaved to the point where Anna left red marks on the back of his neck from holding him in place.

Anna tried to control her motions on top of John but she was on fire. Practically bouncing on him, Anna snaked her hand between them to press herself to finish. John's hands joined her and their fingers intertwined to seek her center and send her over the edge with it. When they found the sweet spot John kissed Anna, tangling their tongues in time with their mutual efforts at her folds.

They broke the kiss to breathe and Anna set to retracing the frosting trail from before, the sweetness still on his skin. Her efforts were interrupted with John pulling one of her nipples to his mouth to send her tumbling over the edge as best he could. Anna rolled her hips at him, changing their angle and speed to leave both groaning.

John drove Anna to break first. She cried out his name, leaving it hanging in the air as he continued to thrust into her. Anna's firing nerves and clenching walls wrung his release from him less than a minute later and the final, faltering thrusts, had Anna rippling inside.

He fell back onto the headboard and Anna draped over his chest. Only at the need to move did Anna slip away to lay on the bed. Her giggling had John turning to look at her.

"What?"

"Is it bad that I just want to eat the cake now?"

"No," John reached over her for the cake with perfect icing. "But this one's mine since you ate the frosting off the other one."

"Oh?" Anna raised an eyebrow, "Did you not enjoy it?"

"Of course I did," John shifted over her, "Why do you think I needed one with more frosting? I've plans for this that involve some very sensitive areas on you."

Anna groaned and pulled John to kiss her again.


	11. Roses Are Red, Tears Are Blue

Anna opened her eyes and found the space on the bed next to her empty. Rubbing her eyes a moment she sat up, listening. Light from the en suite bathroom drew her attention and she grabbed a robe before walking the distance to the door. Once there she grinned at the sight of John relaxing in the large tub.

His face was line-free, peaceful and rested as he soaked in the large jacuzzi tub. Anna leaned on the door frame to watch him. His head leaned back, his eyes closed, and his whole body immersed in the steaming water.

"I believe what you're doing is called staring Doctor," John peeked at her, "You should be sharing this with me."

"Should I?" Anna walked closer, removing the fuzzy robe and biting back her laugh at John's immediate reaction to seeing her body. She pulled her hair up and out of the way. "Is that an invitation?"

"It is." John sat up in the water, "Join me."

"Don't mind if I do." Anna slipped into the tub across from John and sighed, "This water is perfect."

"I hope so." He smiled at her, "Sorry I didn't wake you because I know you hate mornings."

"I do." Anna ran a hand over the edge of the bath. "But I wouldn't have minded you waking me up for this."

"For a bath?"

"For your company." She leaned forward and John opened his arms. Anna turned around to fit herself between his legs, laying her head on his shoulder. "We don't get to spend enough time together as it is."

"Phone calls, texting, and video chatting not quite cutting it for you?" John's hand stroked over her arm, sending tingles down Anna's body.

"They're fine." She kissed his cheek, "I just wish I could have more of you."

"Me too." John settled back, "But, for now, I've got the next few days here in London. We could spend the whole next two days together and then I could take you for dinner on Monday."

"Dinner sounds lovely." Anna moved in the water to straddle him. "As does spending two days in your company."

John did not respond, too busy staring at the sight of Anna. She grinned down at him, "Something occupying your thoughts?"

"Just you."

"Good answer." Anna rested her hands on the back of his neck. "Though I am curious, what are you doing in London anyway?"

"Charles and I had a meeting with some potential investors about our hybrids."

"I thought they were Charles's hybrids."

"Technically yes but I still keep a hand in that business. We're also collaborating on a new kind of rose so I wanted to see how our experiments with that were going."

"Well?"

"Well enough. It's nothing too fancy yet but we've got good scientists working on it." John grinned at her, "Just like I've got good scientists working in other places too."

Anna smiled, "Somewhere in particular you want me to work Mr. Bates?"

"No," He shook his head, reaching up to kiss her neck as he started running his hands down her sides and below the water to caress her ass. "I was thinking I'd do all the work."

"Oh?" Anna heard her voice catch in her throat as John worked his way down her neck to place a kiss at the hollow between her breasts.

"Yes. Just relax."

Anna tried but with John running his lips and tongue over her breasts while his hands kneaded the muscles of her thighs, it was all she could do not to immediately grind down on him. Holding herself slightly above him Anna risked a hand down his chest, zigzagging back and forth on the tips of her fingers to barely scratch her nails there. John growled, forcing Anna's hand to flutter when his response was to bite down on her nipple before sucking it into his mouth.

She cried out, holding his head to her, and could not stop her body writhing against his. One of his hands, having slipped between her legs to graze over the skin of her inner thigh, pressed between them. The motion rubbed his growing arousal between them and both groaned in unison.

"Anna," She could barely hear him over the beating of her own heart at the rush of his fingers teasing at her folds and his lips still moving over her skin.

"What?"

"May I?"

Anna could only nod and sink down as John helped position her with a hand at her hip. The heat of the water was nothing to the feeling of him settled inside her and Anna tightened her inner walls to hold him in place. John gritted his teeth, his own body quivering. The wet slide of his lips at her cheek moved up to her ear, whispering to her.

"Please move."

With a roll of her hips Anna had John pulled at the back of her neck for a kiss. Responding as enthusiastically as she could, Anna used the slow motion of her hips to counter the speed of their mouths. Teeth practically clashed while their hips met in gentle thrusts. Their breathing matched in ferocity but their bodies met softly.

After a moment Anna broke the kiss, sucking a line around the edge of John's jaw. He took his as a cue to speed up, pressing his fingers between them to find her nerves. Anna moaned when he flicked over them, her hips finally matching the pace of her heaving chest.

John dipped his head to take a breast in his mouth again, nipping there in time with the insistence of his fingers. Anna cried out, raking a trail over his shoulders with her nails, and ground down harder on him. Their hips rutted faster and Anna felt John release in time with her peak.

The noise of her racing blood filled Anna's ears and she only managed a lazy smile before pulling John up for a kiss. "If this is how the next two days are going. I'm all in."

He smiled and kissed her again.

* * *

John pulled the car to a stop outside Elsie's house and Anna cringed. He turned to her, "What is it?"

"What if I knock on the door and Charles answers in a borrowed dressing gown?" Anna paled, "Or worse, nothing at all?"

"Then it's a memory I hope doesn't totally scar you and we get a good laugh out of it later." John shifted in the seat, "We can't judge."

"Why not?"

"Because we've been doing the same thing."

"No, no, stop," Anna held up a hand. "I don't want those thoughts in my head."

"Alright," John laughed. "I'll follow you to your flat then."

Anna got out of the car, holding up the end of her shimmering dress, and picked her way across the paving stones to knock on the door. She held her breath, shaking her head and hoping Elsie would be the one to answer the door. As it opened she winced and then relaxed to see Elsie, fully dressed, standing there with a cup to tea.

"Anna?"

"I need to get my car." Anna risked a peek at the interior. "You've also got my clothes from yesterday still here."

"I could tell that by your dress." Elsie waved over Anna's shoulder to John in the car. "Don't leave that poor man in there. Invite him inside."

"I'm just here for my clothes and car. Then we're driving back to-"

"No," Elsie beckoned to John with her hand. Anna risked a look over her shoulder to see John, confused, roll down the window. "Mr. Bates, yes? Come inside for some tea please."

"Elsie please, this isn't necessary."

"I rather think it is." Elsie pointed to Anna, drawing an invisible line up and down. "You're doing the walk of shame to my front door so I'm going to meet the man involved."

"And what about your walk of shame?" Anna folded her arms over her chest and Elsie shrugged.

"I brought him home."

"That's better?"

"I'm not wearing what I wore last night." Elsie waved for John, "Mr. Bates come inside please."

Anna sighed and nodded toward the car. John turned off the ignition and managed his way out of the car. Waiting for him at the door Anna listened to the comforting sound of his cane clacking on the stones. He put an arm on her shoulder when he joined her and Anna walked toward the waiting Elsie in the doorway.

"We're polite in this house Anna May Smith and we invite our guests inside." Elsie extended her left hand to John so he did not have to move his cane. "Lovely to meet you again Mr. Bates."

"Please, call me John."

"Then I'm Elsie." She stepped back, "I've got some tea and leftovers from breakfast if either of you are hungry."

"I could always do with a spot of tea."

John followed Elsie inside and Anna groaned a moment before going inside. She shut the door and jumped a little to see Carson coming out of the loo. They looked one another up and down, dressed in their clothes from the night before, and swallowed. Carson stepped to the side for Anna to go into the kitchen and she hurried away from him.

"Elsie I think I'd best be off. I've got-" Carson stopped in the doorway, jaw dropping a bit when he saw John. John smiled and waved back at him. "Good morning John. I didn't expect to see you here."

"I wouldn't have thought so." John shook his hand, "I wasn't expecting to be here myself but Mrs. Hughes here was kind enough to invite me."

"It's 'Elsie', please."

"Well, Elsie," john winked at her, "Was jut telling me about her tea."

"Was she?" Carson nodded, "I had some last night. It's a wonderful recipe."

"I'm sure." John put the cup down, "Are we still on for our meeting on Monday? We an delay it if you need."

I'm more than ready to show you what we've cooked up in the meantime. So no, need to reschedule."

"Perfect." John paused, "I'm sorry, I don't think you're here to speak to me."

"No," Carson turned to Elsie, "I'm off or my workers'll think I skived on them."

"We can't have that. I'll walk you to the door." Elsie got up from the table and Anna sank into a chair as she heard the chatter of their voices from the door.

John laughed and Anna looked over at him, "What're you laughing at?"

"You."

"Why?"

"Your reaction."

Anna frowned, "My reaction?"

"Yes. You're reaction." John ran a finger over her hand, "They're entitled to their happiness like anyone else."

"I know it's just…" Anna struggled to find words, tossing her hands into the air. "She's like my mother and the thought that my mother has those kind of needs is not something you ever want to face as a child."

"You're not a child."

"No, but I'm like her child. It's a relationship that shouldn't be changed like that. And I don't want to think of my mother in those terms."

"Maybe not," John shrugged, putting his cup to his lips. "But I won't judge those seeking happiness like I am."

"I don't either but she's like my mother."

"At least you didn't see anything." John shuddered, "When I was a child once I opened the door and-"

"No, no, no," Anna covered her ears, "I don't want to hear about that."

"Anna," Elsie reentered the room, "You're an adult now. Please act like we're all adults here."

"I'm going to change clothes." Anna got up from the table and went up the stairs to her room.

She hurried to change, shucking out of her nice dress and shoes, before hanging it on the back of the closet. Anna stroked a hand down the dress, smiling to herself when she thought about what happened because of it. Quickly buttoning her shirt in place and slipping on her shoes she hurried back down to the kitchen.

Sounds of laughter greeted her and she paused, tentative about what they might be discussing. Anna crept into the room and saw Elsie and John speaking in low voices before both of them erupted into giggles again. Making sure to pull out a chair loudly, Anna joined them and both wiped tears of laughter from their eyes when they acknowledged her presence again.

"Anna, would you mind terribly if Elsie can to lunch with us?" John turned to Anna and she narrowed her eyes. "I'd like to treat her since she did such a lovely job on your dress."

"I'm sure that's all it is." Anna crossed her arms over her chest, "This isn't because she knows a lot of embarrassing stories about me that you want to hear is it? Because I could tell you those."

"No, it's a chance to get to know someone very important in your life."

"Well," Anna pulled at her clothes. "Much as I love the idea of wearing these for the second day in a row, I think I should go back to my flat and change."

"Perfect." Elsie stood. "Then Mr. Bates can drive me to your favorite restaurant and you can meet us there."

Anna let out a disappointed sigh and nodded, "Alright."

"Perfect." Elsie disappeared from the room and John leaned over the table to put his hand on Anna's.

"Is this alright? Inviting Elsie I mean?"

"It's- It's fine."

"Is it?"

"Well, I'm a little disappointed."

"Why?"

"Because," Anna covered John's hand with her other, "I wanted to show you my flat and my bedroom."

John coughed, "I can cancel."

"No," Anna kissed his knuckles, "We'll just see it together later."

"It's a promise." John smiled and they kissed quickly, "You'd better get going. I don't know how much longer I can stave off her questions about our relationship."

Anna hurried out of the house, racing across the city at speeds that should've had flashing lights in her rear window but something was on her side. She tore into her flat, quickly changing her clothes and rushing back out faster than the door could even firmly close. Her engine had not even cooled before it was back to gunning her across town to a little Indian restaurant.

The valet opened the door, smiling at her, "Welcome back Doctor Smith."

"Thank you Raj." Anna handed over the keys, "Is Elsie inside?"

"Yes. She's got a table with a man."

"Better hurry before she steals my date then." Anna ducked in the doors and saw Elsie sitting at their normal table in the back.

Anna weaved between the tables and took the seat next to John. Almost on instinct he lowered a hand to wrap her fingers in his a moment before returning them to the table. He nodded at all the right points in Elsie's story and when it ended he gave Anna a quick peck to the cheek.

"You got here in record time."

"I think I'll get a notice in the post about a few traffic lights I ignored."

"That worried I'd embarrass you Anna?" Elsie clicked her tongue against her teeth, "Don't you know anything about me? I'd wait to see your face turn red."

"Thank you for that." Anna picked up the menu, "I just didn't want to miss any of this. I've only got so much time with the two of you."

"If you don't mind my prying?" Elsie leaned forward on the table a bit, "How is that working?"

"You mean the distance?"

"We may not live like we all did a hundred years ago but even two hours one way to a different country makes travel a little difficult on a relationship." Elsie shrugged, "I was just wondering what you two had planned."

"Just to see where it all takes us." Anna intertwined her fingers with John's, smiling at him. "It's an adventure."

"That it is." Elsie sighed, "An adventure indeed."

They chatted until the server came. Anna handed over her menu and ordered, followed quickly by Elsie and less quickly by John. He eventually bowed to the suggestion of the two women and they sat back, waiting for the waiter to come back.

"I was curious John," Elsie adjusted herself in her seat, "What was your first impression of Anna?"

"Professional." John shrugged, "Yours?"

"Intelligent." Anna blushed a little under the inspection of the two parties. "I was her head of year when she was sixteen but I'd met her before that."

"Troublemaker?"

"No, just too brilliant for her own good. She'd correct a few of her teachers and they didn't take too kindly to the embarrassment so they called me in." Elsie shook her head, "Some people have no humility unfortunately."

"And that's how you came to take her in?"

Elsie shot Anna a look and when Anna nodded she responded. "I assume Anna told you the circumstances of her placement in my care yes?"

"She did."

"Well, I think it was a two-fold miracle wrapped in a tragedy. I'd always wanted children but the right man never made an appearance so I satisfied myself with the idea that my students would be my children." Anna reached over, covering Elsie's hand with hers. Elsie gripped back, taking a few deep breaths before answering, "But when the chance came to have Anna I couldn't say no."

"She's made you proud."

"Most exquisitely." Elsie threw up a hand, "What other mother could say their child attended the Sorbonne or does cancer curing research?"

"Even if my own parents thought what I was doing was against the nature of god." Anna muttered, "Or that women shouldn't do it at all."

"They were a rather… confused pair I'll say." Elsie shrugged, "But there are bad apples and good. Anna's one of the best I've ever met and I was beyond lucky to have her as both student and daughter."

"I'll say." John adjusted his cane on the seat beside him. "And, to more fully answer your question, I was taken aback. At the risk of sounding like I'm objectifying your daughter, I didn't imagine I could see a woman as beautiful as she is be as intelligent as she is. And I never expected to have one as quick-witted and thoughtful and well-informed as she is."

"She's the whole package, as they say." Elsie beamed at Anna before raising her water glass, "To the best woman we've both met."

"I'll say that's you," Anna raised her glass, "And thank you for the compliment."

They all took a drink and Anna dabbed at her lips with her napkin. "Excuse me a moment, I need to use the ladies."

Anna walked back toward the loo and jumped when someone stepped out of the shadows. She went to speak but stopped herself when she recognized Green standing there. Taking a glance over her shoulder Anna debated a moment too long about returning to the table, giving Green the opening he needed to cut off her escape.

"Doctor Green," Anna felt the fakeness in her own voice but tried to make it as genuine as she could manage. "What a coincidence to see you here."

"Not really." Green pointed at the table. "I didn't know you and the cripple were so well acquainted. Are you bedfellows yet?"

"Mr. Bates and I are having lunch, not that it's any of your business. Further, whatever relationship I have with Mr. Bates is none of your concern."

"It'll be a concern to the ethics committee who might wonder why you'd be pushing through for clinical testing so soon."

Anna frowned, "What's my request for clinical testing got to do with anything?"

"How's the committee going to respond when they find out the main source of monetary contributions to your research is also the man you're schtupping?"

Anna crossed her arms over her chest, "They won't care because, even if we were in a relationship that was any of your concern, it has no impact on the work I do."

"I don't think the ethics committee would see it that way." Green lowered his voice, leaning forward, "But I could help make them."

"Really?" Anna scoffed, "How ironic that you come here, offering to buy out the ethics committee, for a favor from me and then talk about the possible ethical implications of my romantic acquaintances."

"It's one way or the other Ms. Smith."

"It's 'Doctor' Smith, Doctor Green, and I don't care what you offer. I'm not interested." Anna went to walk away but Green grabbed her arm and pulled her to the wall.

Anna hit hard and for a moment she saw her stepfather in Green's face. The same fire existed in their eyes and Anna's blood ran cold. Her gasp must have convinced Green she was too afraid to do anything before he pressed in close. "You lost me my job and you're going to get it back for me or you're going to have hell to pay."

She struggled against his grip before kicking up with her knee. The blow struck Green in the hip, knocking him sideways enough that Anna could slip from his grasp. But Green flailed for her and they stumbled onto a table. Anna struck her head on the edge and hit the ground, feeling part of Green's weight fall on her.

A moment later hands lifted her from the ground, helping her to her feet. Anna nodded at the questions that sounded far away a moment. She swayed in place, putting out her hands to grab the table as her mind reoriented. Elsie's face swam into view and her voice echoed clearly in Anna's head.

"Are you alright?"

"I think I might have a concussion." Anna blinked and Elsie helped her to a seat as John pushed Green back.

"Crawl back to your hole."

"Not until I get what I came for." Green attempted to come forward again but John's fist, holding his cane tightly, came across and punched Green in the nose.

He stumbled in place before hitting the ground. John shook out his hand, turning back to Anna as she blinked to clear her head. A hand stroked over hers and Anna smiled John before almost falling into his shoulder.

"She needs a doctor." John helped lift Anna to her feet while Elsie gathered their things.

It was all a blur to Anna. Movement felt like someone else's body shifting under her. Sights faded and sharpened in alternating time. Sounds cracked and stung her ears while being muffled and distant. At one point she could have sworn a light pointed directly at her eyes but she also imagined a purple hippopotamus crossed in front of the bed with rails so she was not sure.

In the darkness, as her mind tried to sort through the pain and the confusion, Anna saw him as he always looked. The sharp jaw and straight nose that always made as it to give his whole face a constant accusatory pose. His voice echoed in his native French to shout her down, sneering at her from a distance.

Anna tried to run, to escape the overbearing image of her stepfather haunting her mind. He just cackled at her before shouting the phrases he always did. When Anna tried to confront him something grabbed her. Hands at her ankles and her wrists kept her immobile while shiver-inducing fingers crawled up her legs. Her body twisted and tried to escape the ooze of him running over her body.

With a full-bodied jerk Anna sat up in the bed, thrashing at all who tried to hold her. Her voice was hoarse, as though she had been screaming and never realized, and the clamor of other voices about her only incited her more. She clawed at the tubes and trappings keeping her in place until John's face appeared in her vision.

His gentle hands covered hers and, though it took her a moment to understand him, Anna slowed her breathing to match the tempo of his words. Their eyes met and Anna stared at them until her body calmed. Everyone else in the room had gone quiet and Anna snuck a peek at all of them before turning back to John.

"What's going on?"

"You have a bad concussion and were unconscious for a bit. When you were coming to just now you rather frightened the staff here trying to stop your unconscious acrobatics so you didn't buck yourself out of bed."

"John," Anna lowered her voice and John shuffled closer, "I saw him."

"Green?"

Anna shook her head, "He was grabbed me like he used to. I heard his voice, like I remember, and I thought…" She buried her head in his shoulder.

"It's alright." John rubbed a hand over her back. "It's alright. I'm here."

Anna pulled back, wiping at her eyes, "I want them to leave."

John turned over her shoulder to the others in the room and shooed them out. The doctors sighed, shaking their heads, while the others spun to leave immediately. It took a minute or two but soon the room was empty but for the two of them and the beeping of equipment.

"What else do you need Anna?"

"I want to go home."

"Okay." John kissed her forehead, "I'll see what I can do."

Anna twisted the medical blankets wrapped over her while John hobbled out of the room. He retuned quickly and helped Anna climb out of bed. Her feet hit the floor and she immediately hissed.

"It's cold."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, help me get my clothes."

"Over there, with your shoes." John pointed and Anna snatched the pile before disappearing into the loo.

She only took a minute, not caring how the clothing fit again, just wanting to be dressed and out of the hospital. Anna wadded up the gown and tossed it onto the bed when she emerged. John offered her his hand but Anna just hugged her arms to her chest, shaking her head.

They walked out to the carpark, John leading Anna to his rented car. She did not wait for him to open the door but climbed in herself and huddled on the seat. Without a word John took the driver's seat and steered them toward her apartment.

Anna only gave him the bare minimum of instructions, some almost to the point where he rode the curb to get them turned fast enough. Honking horns and shouted expletives only rung in the hollow of Anna's outer ear and she hardly noticed their noise. They were a distraction but not enough to drown out the memory surfacing from the ooze in her mind.

John helped Anna into her flat and even followed her to her bedroom where Anna stripped her clothes to find her most comfortable pajamas. Leaving the other clothing on the floor she crawled into bed, clinging to the sheets and blankets about her as she curled into a ball. From the corner of her eye she saw John ready his pace to leave her when Anna called out.

"Please don't go."

John did not say a word. Instead he toed out of his shoes and left his cane by the door before climbing onto the bed behind Anna. His arm came around hesitantly but Anna pulled it firmly about her, holding almost as tightly there as her death grip on the blankets. Wrapped in those blankets, and in John, Anna almost felt safe.

Almost.

They lay there, in silence, until Anna finally spoke. "I hate hospital because that's where they took me when I told Elsie. They had me strip down and took pictures. I had to let them take pictures of my body, run tests, and take samples of everything."

"That sounds horrible."

"It was. And none of it swayed the jury." Anna sniffed, the emotion rising in her. "They still believed my mother and she didn't even believe me."

"But Elsie did."

Anna nodded, "She did."

"She brought your car back and is coming by later to make sure you're alright." John whispered, "I texted her when we got here so she knows where you are."

"Thank you." Anna mumbled, her voice muffled by the sheets. "When Green grabbed me it was like my stepfather was grabbing me again. Like he was there and back and-"

Anna sobbed uncontrollably into the blankets, her tears soaking the material. John held her tighter and Anna burrowed into him. Her mind cleared with her tears and soon Anna drifted off to sleep. The comfort of John all about her kept the darkness in Anna's mind at bay.


	12. The Non-Existence of Fairy Godmothers

Anna moved her neck on the pillow, breathing in time with John behind her. She shifted slightly and slipped from his grip. He stayed sleeping on the bed as she padded into the bathroom. Cold water to her face took the sleep from her eyes and Anna risked a look at her shower.

Turning the spray on full blast Anna let it steam up the bathroom before stepping under the water. It practically scalded her skin but she stayed there, appreciating the heat washing over her and maybe taking her bad memories away with any residual hospital smell… or touch of Green. If she could, Anna thought, she would strip herself out of her skin and find a new body to wear. Something that felt like hers and only hers instead of someone else's.

With her shower finished, Anna toweled her hair dry enough and returned to the room wrapped in her dressing gown. John was sitting up in her bed, blinking sleep from his eyes, and waiting for her. Dropping the towel in a hamper Anna walked over and crawled back onto the bed with him. She fit right between his arms and snuggled herself there.

"How's your head?"

"Clear."

"That's good." John tipped her back slightly, brushing a finger softly against a spot. "You'll probably get a bruise."

"I've had those before." Anna sat up against her headboard, running her hand over John's thigh. "That's not what worries me."

"What worries you?"

Anna paused, chewing on her lip a moment before straddling John's waist. John kept his hands immobile. Anna shifted them onto her and he looked in her eyes. She shifted slightly, running her fingers over John's shirt before flicking at the buttons from the holes. He put a hand up to stop her but Anna slipped free of his grip and continued.

When John tried again Anna huffed and moved his hands away. "I want this."

"Anna, you were concussed yesterday and unconscious."

"My head's fine."

"That's not-" John struggled to find the words he needed. "That's not what worries me."

"Then what, John?"

"I don't want you doing this to prove something to me."

"I'm not proving anything to you."

John grabbed her hands, "Then who?"

"Me." Anna removed her hands, "I'm proving something to me."

"Anna-"

She threw her hands up, "This is what worried me."

"What?"

Anna shifted, pulling John's shirt open, "I worried you'd try and stop me."

"Because I don't want you doing anything you're not ready for."

"John," Anna held his chin in her hands, "I want us to do this. I want it as raw and rough as we can manage."

"Why?"

"Because I want to feel alive."

"There are other ways Anna."

"No," Anna shook her head, "I need it like this."

"Why?"

"I want to feel like this is my skin, that no one else has a right to it but me, and that no matter what, no one else chooses that but me." Anna took a deep breath, "More than that, I want to feel like you're the only one who's ever had me. I want to feel like you're the only one who'll ever have me. I want you to take me as yours."

"Anna I could do that without making this about roughness or rawness."

"Not and have me feel the way I want to feel right now." Anna held his face in her hands, "You're all that matters to me and I need you to help me feel like the others never happened."

John nodded, "If that's what you want."

Anna leaned forward, her lips barely an inch from his, "It is."

"And you're sure?" John tipped forward and Anna suppressed the shiver of anticipation passing through her.

"Please."

John's hands responded immediately. Rough and sudden, he practically ripped open her dressing gown while his lips attacked her neck in a series of searing kisses. Anna held him close, pulling his shirt from him. It drifted to the sheets but John rolled it under them when he surprised Anna by flipping her back onto the bed.

The air left her lungs a rush and Anna panted to get it back. John kept his assault constant. Nips and sucks left reddening skin from her chin down to her collarbones. His hands left her dressing gown a mess of fabric around her and immediately kneaded over her skin. His grip pressed deep into her muscles and Anna arched her back at the pain tipped pleasure.

His mouth teased at hers, forcing it open so he could sweep inside to taste her before breaking away just as quickly. Anna whined for more before shrieking at the attentions he immediately directed toward her breasts. He bit and pinched, massaging away the pain in the next moment. Her body constricted, forcing her lungs to heave while John worked down her body.

Wet licks at her stomach sent Anna writhing over the bed. John moved his body lower, risking a second to shuck both trousers and underwear to the floor. Moments later he was back between her legs, running his hands over her skin while kissing around her inner thighs.

He pushed Anna's legs wider when her instinct was to close them. John sucked at her nerve bundle, sending Anna howling at the ceiling with her neck arching back into the pillows. His mouth covered hers while his fingers rubbed over her to pry open her folds. Anna raked her fingers in his hair, returning the force of his kiss with her tongue in his mouth before he pulled away again.

Whining for him Anna tried to sit up but John forced her back. He licked over her weeping center and she cried out. When he sent his tongue as deeply as he could inside her Anna screamed. But he never paused or faltered in his attentions. His fingers thrust deep, looking for the spot to send her over the edge. John curled his digits to find it and Anna arced off the bed.

Her throat felt raw when she reached for air to fill her deflated lungs but John did not stop. His hands went to her hips and flipped her onto her hands and knees. Anna's arms wobbled under her body weight but when John drove into her it sent her head back. Fingers tangled in her hair, pulling it to the side so John could bite down at her shoulder. He kissed over the spot and then sucked the pulse at her neck in time with his deep drives. Anna cried out, feeling John as deeply as he could strike with each plunge of himself inside her.

His thrusts set a punishing tempo and Anna struggled to respond, forcing her hips back in response. Her own breath struggled in her body while the only sounds louder to her than panting breaths were those made as skin slapped skin. It echoed over the room, a cacophony of primal reactions for the animalistic tendencies rooted in each person. Those deep, natural roars rang out as exclamations from Anna when John ran his determined hand to her center. Between his determined rutting and the rub of his fingers, Anna felt herself shatter again.

John's own release felt like an afterthought as Anna collapsed to the bed. He slipped from behind her and wrapped her in his arms. Anna struggled out of her dressing gown and threw it to the floor to cuddle herself in John's embrace.

Their breathing slowed and John stroked over her back. His fingers tripped over the mark Anna felt throb slightly at her shoulder. She tipped her head up, running a hand under his chin. "Thank you. That was what I needed."

"Are you sure?" John looked over her, "I think I was too rough and I'm sorry I didn't-"

"John," Anna kissed his cheek, "It was what I wanted."

John nodded, kissing her knuckles. "I don't want you to feel you ever have to prove anything to me. No matter what I learn about you, it won't change my opinion of you one bit."

"I feel the same." Anna moved in his hold, "I just need to feel for myself. I only ever really feel when I'm with you and I needed a reminder. Something more than just… I don't know. I just needed to feel like the touch of everyone and anyone else as purged from me."

"Do you feel that way now?" John waited and Anna nodded.

"Much better, thank you."

"My honor." John checked over her shoulder at the clock, "Do you want breakfast… or, lunch?"

"Lunch sounds lovely."

* * *

Anna dug in her bag for her keys, only turning up her head slightly at the sound of the elevator doors dinging.

"You got plans for the evening?" Branson adjusted the strap of his bag diagonally across his chest.

"Just video chatting with my boyfriend."

"Really?" Branson smiled, "And who's the lucky bloke?"

"You've met him actually." Anna and Branson walked toward their cars. "Mr. Bates, from the charity ball."

"Really? The investor?"

"That's the one." Anna cringed, "Are you about to tell me how it's a bad idea?"

"I'm not Mary so no." Branson shrugged, "He seemed like a decent man in the short conversation I had with him. Intelligent, sense of humor, good sense of himself… you could do a lot worse than him and probably not much better."

"Thank you."

"Besides, I got teary during his speech."

"Didn't we all?" Anna and Branson looked up to see Green leaning on Anna's car. "He's just so wonderful it's no wonder everyone's obsessed with the cripple."

"Doctor Green what are you doing here?"

"Come to see you." Green stood up, "Thought I'd come for my apology."

"Apology?"

"Yes, for having me tossed in jail for a few days."

Anna shook her head, "You brought that on yourself. Don't blame me for what happened."

"It was a misunderstanding that I'm here to explain since you haven't returned any of my calls after the police finally let me go."

"I changed my number." Anna took a breath, "I thought it would've been obvious how little interest I have in you or anything related to you."

Green threw up his hands, "It was a misinterpreted scuffle."

"Knocking me into a table and giving me a concussion is not misinterpreted." Anna waved her hand, "Now get away from my car."

"We haven't finished talking."

Green took a step forward but Branson stopped him. "Mate, I think she was pretty clear. Scarper off and I don't ring for security to remove you from the premises since you don't work here and no one wants you here."

"I wasn't talking to you, leprechaun, so why don't you just shove off?" Green planted his hands in Branson's chest and shoved but it only put the Irishman back a step.

"Because she asked you to leave her alone and's given you some big hints that she's not bloody interested. More to the point, I boxed in school and I think I could wreck your smug ass. So, unless you want me to break that pretty face of yours, leave."

Green scoffed and took a swing at Branson. Branson ducked under his arm and brought an elbow into Green's stomach before laying him out on the ground with a solid right hook. Green tumbled to the cement between the cars, puffing out air as blood seeped from his nose.

Branson shook out his hand, turning to Anna, "I think we should call someone now."

Anna dialed building security and they arrived just as Green recovered enough from his daze to speak in full sentences. He tried to wrestle free from their grip but the guards kept a hold on him. One of them walked over to Branson and Anna, offering the former an ice pack and the latter some advice.

"I'd get a restraining order against him."

"Are you going to call the police?"

"He was trespassing and he did attempt to assault both you and Dr. Branson. I don't think much'll stick with it but it's enough to put him on their radar for when you file an order against him."

Anna nodded, "Thank you, for your help."

"Just make sure you're careful. Guys like him they don't let this kind of thing go. I'd hate for anything to happen. Please, don't let your guard down about this guy."

"Will do." Anna turned to Branson nodding at his hand, "You really gave your blood for me."

"It was nothing," Branson inspected his knuckles, "Sybil'll think I was so brave and it gave me a chance to practice."

"I hope next time you can just punch a bag instead of having to punch someone's face for me." Anna put a hand on Branson's shoulder. "In all seriousness though, thank you."

"Truly an honor to help you out boss." Branson got into his car. "And like I said, I'll get my reward at home."

Anna laughed to herself and climbed into her own car to drive home. She was a little more careful, making sure to take more turns than necessary and keeping a watch in her rearview mirror. But if anyone followed her they switched more cars than she could follow.

Opening the door to her apartment Anna quickly set up her laptop and opened video chat, positioning herself on her bed before dialing John. He answered in a few rings and Anna recognized the library behind him. The smile that split his face wide matched by hers in the screen.

"Hello gorgeous." Anna sighed, "How are you?"

"Already missing you and wishing I was there."

"I thought you hated London."

John held up a finger, "I do but I didn't say I missed London. I said I missed you. There is a big difference between the Big Smoke and you. One being that you're bright and wonderful and the Big Smoke is questionable all days of the week."

"How can you hate it so much when you grew up here?"

John shrugged, "Never felt like mine I guess."

"At least I'm yours right?" Anna teased and watched John raise an eyebrow.

"Are we in the habit of asking rhetorical questions now?"

"We could all use reminders."

"How about I implore you, again, to think about coming to live with me here?" John opened his arms to the room behind him, "The library could be all yours."

"You know I couldn't do my testing in your library. I need a full laboratory with plates, heating fridges, microscopes you can't just buy online, and a clean room for contagion testing."

"Right," John nodded, "I don't know how I could've forgotten the list."

"You're incorrigible."

"Only when it comes to you."

"Besides," Anna adjusted her position on the bed, "We're so close to getting human trial approval and I can't leave before we've tested. This is what it's all been leading up to and since I've run point on it thus far-"

"Anna," John held up a hand. "I know how important your work is to you and I wouldn't dream of asking you to choose between what matters most to you. Your work is there, Elsie is there, and I can travel to you when the desperation gets too much to bear. I'm just pulling your leg about it."

"I know. Doesn't make you any less of a charmer."

"I live to please. And the offer stands but that's all it does for now, stand. When you want it, it's all yours."

Anna licked over the bottom of her teeth, "Does that apply to anything?"

"Anything mine is as good as yours, sure." John did not see the depth of Anna's question and she slid herself backward on the bed slightly, pulling the buttons of her shirt open slowly.

"So, it's mine to ask you if you want to have phone sex?"

"What?" John spluttered but Anna only continued removing her shirt and turned the computer as she got off the bed to push her trousers down her legs.

"Well, in your day they'd call it phone sex. For my generation we have video chat instead so…" Anna grinned at him, noticing the reddening of his skin as she ran her hands over her bra-encased breasts. "If you don't want me to continue I can-"

"No!" John was out of his seat, holding his cane in one hand and the laptop in the other, "Just… just give me a minute."

Anna bit her lip and waited, watching the snippets of John's house pass by the camera until he shut a door and she saw a room she assumed must be his. John set the computer on a table and adjusted so Anna could see all of John and the bed. His movements were awkward and hesitant but Anna found it remarkably endearing.

"John, if you don't want to then we won't."

"No, it's just that I've never done this and…"

"It's easy," Anna pointed to him, "Start with the shirt. Like you're changing your clothes."

"I don't usually do that with someone watching."

"I've seen you before."

"You were in the room."

Anna nodded, "And, if I were in the room, what would you want me to do?"

"I'd-" John paused, his shirt halfway unbuttoned. "I'd want you to help me."

"Then imagine it's my fingers slipping all the buttons loose on your shirt." Anna crawled back onto the bed, repositioning the camera so it caught her lying diagonally across the covers. "I'd trail my fingers over your chest and maybe even scratch at you if I was feeling like teasing you."

"I'd want that." John dropped the shirt to the floor and his hand brushed over the rising tent in his trousers.

Anna bit her lip, "What would you do to me?"

"Before or after I stripped your naked and kissed all over your body?"

Anna groaned, "I thought you said you never did this before?"

"Not on video chat but I did once try out phone sex." John leaned toward the camera, "With a rotary phone."

"What?" Anna guffawed, "You can't be serious."

"Very," John answered soberly, distracting her so Anna almost missed when he removed his trousers and dropped them to the floor. "I was seventeen and it was the dead of night. I risked it and almost died waiting for her to answer, afraid her father would instead."

"Were those the days where boys doing what you were got themselves shot for doing that?"

"Yes." John eased his underwear down his legs and Anna sucked air into her lungs at the sight of him. "I think it's a little unfair now."

"Where would you go next?" Anna got on her knees, holding at her breasts. "Here?"

"No," John shook his head and sat on the edge of his bed, his own arousal twitching as it grew before her eyes. "Lower."

Anna leaned back against the headboard before pointing to her stomach, "Here?"

John shook his head, "Lower."

Sliding her finger through the elastic band Anna pulled her knickers down her legs and tossed them to the side. She shifted to keep her legs apart, giving him the full view. "Here?"

"Just there." John's hand wrapped his erection and Anna knew the way the light caught on the slight glisten on his forehead would be reflected in the blush running over her cheeks. "I think I'd use my fingers first. Send you over the edge slowly."

Anna took two of her fingers into her mouth, sucking them slowly before sliding them to her nerve bundle. She stroked her fingers there before forming a 'V' and teasing over her folds. John's voice just reached Anna's ears as her nerves sparked under her unpracticed fingers.

"That's it. Slowly work yourself and then spread open. Don't rush it."

"What about you?" The words almost trapped in Anna's throat and she pushed to let them free, "What would you want me to do?"

"I'd want to hear you. That noise you make at the back of your throat when I know you're rising and you can't stop yourself falling over the edge." Anna caught sight of John's hand moving faster on his arousal. "The way your breath catches and that red already spreading over your cheeks. It deepens right before your voice pitches higher and you shatter."

"I want you here." Anna glided a finger inside, stroking for the sweet spot to send her over the edge. She added another finger, trying to find it. "I want you bringing me over the edge before you lose control."

"What would you do then?"

"I'd try to suck you off but probably wouldn't be able to stop myself taking you as deep as you can go." Anna found the spot and curled her fingers, flicking her thumb furiously at her nerves. "I'd ride you until you couldn't speak."

"Anna!" John's arm pumped, "Please keep talking."

"I don't know if it'd matter if I came first or you did, because either way you'd say my name and then I'd feel you release and-"

John cried out on the other end of the line and Anna pressed on her own nerves. She screamed his name, the familiar ripples of pleasure running through her body. Trying to get her breath back Anna arranged herself to see John clearly in the video. He supported himself back on the bed, chest heaving and still wearing the result of his release.

Anna chuckled, "Look at that. It's almost like I'm your fairy godmother and I brought you a gift."

"You're better than any fairy godmother I've ever read about." John laughed, almost as a release of tension. "If I'd known I could use video chat for this…"

"Glad I could help." Anna sighed at the screen. "It won't always be like this."

"You mean because one day I'll get old and you won't want to have sex with me?" John tried to hide his smirk but Anna wished she could swat at him.

"No, silly. We won't always be so far away from each other. Soon we can do this in person."

"I don't know if we'll want to film that. What if our children see it?"

"There's a risk to everything I guess," Anna smiled, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Survive."

"Not well." Anna admitted and took a deep breath. "Do you remember how I said I was pretty sure I was falling in love with you?"

"Yes."

"That's the thing," Anna smiled at him, "I love you, Mr. Bates and I'm not afraid to say it."

"Good because neither am I and I wouldn't do what we just did with someone I didn't love."

"You said you had phone sex when you were seventeen."

"It didn't go as well as this and back then, to be fair, anything could've set me off." John defended, "I was a hormonal teenager."

Anna narrowed her eyes, "I feel like we're on thin ice here."

"We are but," John blew a kiss toward her. "I love you too. The next time we see one another I'll tell you in person and then show you what I wish I could've done to you here."

"Then I look forward to next time." Anna blew her own kiss toward the camera, "I'll talk to you later John."

"Goodnight Anna."


	13. When We Dream

Anna picked up the phone and wedged it between her ear and her shoulder, "Grantham Labs this is Doctor Smith."

"Anna." She stopped at the tone in John's voice. "Do you have a minute?"

"Sure. Let me call you right back." Anna hung up the office phone and removed her lab coat, "Need a minute."

Mary waved her off, adjusting something on her microscope as Anna hurried to the hall and pressed at the lift button as urgently as she could. It opened and Anna pressed the button for the roof. Thankfully no one tried to join her on the lift so it could go all the way to the roof unimpeded.

Pushing the door open Anna pulled her mobile from her pocket and dialed John's number. She paced quickly on the roof, waiting for him to pick up. When John's breath sounded on the other end of the line Anna sighed. "What's up John?"

"I- I need you."

"For what?"

He was quiet, "Never mind. It's nothing and I don't want to bother you."

"John," Anna warned, "Tell me what you need."

"There's a parole hearing in Germany, end of this month, and the prosecution there wants me to come."

Anna bit her tongue, "Vera?"

"Yes."

"Are they going to let her out?"

"I don't know."

"What if they are?"

John did not answer for a moment before clearing his throat. "If you don't want to come then I understand. It's not your problem and-"

"I'm coming."

Anna imagined she could almost hear his gasp of surprise on the other end of the line. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really? I don't want to put you there if you don't want to go."

"John, if you need me then I'm there for you. End of story." Anna waited, "How bad could it be?"

"Worse than you could possibly imagine."

"Why's that?"

"The prosecution thinks she'll get out."

"Why?"

"She's been a model prisoner." Anna could imagine John scraping his hand over his face in time with the sigh she heard through the speaker, "Something about 'good behavior' and all that."

"And how soon do they need you there?"

"Like I said, end of the month."

"I could come to Paris and we could go from there." Anna waited, "If you want me to come with you."

"I don't want to put that strain on you. You've got the test results to get approved and even asking you to help I feel…"

"Feel what?" Anna pulled at her blouse, the one hot day of summer for the year happening to strike when she was in full view of the sun on the roof.

"Your work's too important and I'm being stupid."

"No, you're asking for help and me taking a few days won't be a problem. I haven't had a vacation since March and our reports with the approval committee are all in order. We file them day after tomorrow and then it's just us waiting for them to give us the approval we're sure they already will." Anna paced over the rooftop. "I don't think Mr. Crawley'll have a problem with me leaving for a few days while waiting for their final ruling."

"Only if you're sure."

"John, you said you need me and I said I'll be there. Nothing could be more sure to me." He laughed a little on the end of the line. "What's so funny?"

"Whenever I see a problem, you only ever see possibilities."

"One of us has to." Anna felt her phone vibrate in her hand and pulled it back from her ear. "That's Mary. We've got a budget review and then a lab meeting."

"I won't keep you then."

"Text me the details and I'll be there John."

"I love you Anna."

"And I love you." Anna kissed at the mobile. "Thank you for calling."

"To bother you with my troubles?"

"To trust me with your troubles. That's a different thing altogether." Anna sighed, "I'll call you tonight."

"I'll be waiting."

Anna hung up and hurried back toward the lift. Her fingers dashed over the keys to respond to Mary's message and rode to the floor with the labs to meet her at the doors. Mary joined her in the lift and they rode up to the floor with all the meeting rooms.

"John alright?"

"Yeah, he's fine." Anna pulled at her collar, "It's bloody blazing outside."

"The one day we ever get of summer." Mary blew out, "Even worse than having to enjoy it outside is being trapped inside to miss it. I hate budget review."

"It's August, that's what happens."

"What'd John need?" Mary led the way out of the elevator to the room where Talbot and Branson debated over a stack of files on the table with a blonde woman and another man.

"How'd you know John needed anything?"

"Because," Mary put a hand on Anna's arm and stopped them going inside. "Usually you just giggle through the phone for five minutes then hang up. But you use the office phone like it's no problem. Today you took it on your mobile up to the roof. What's up?"

"It's private but it'll work itself out."

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure, thank you." Anna pushed into the room, "Alright Mr. Pelham, let's discuss our budget."

* * *

Anna walked through the arrivals gate and dropped her bag to the ground to wrap her arms around John's shoulders. He held her close, fingers tightening in her shirt a moment before he released. She took a step back, putting a hand to his face, and smiled at him.

"It'll be alright."

John kissed her hand, holding it in his. "It will be now that you're here." He dipped to get her bag before she could, shushing her objections. "I can carry a bag."

They walked out of the airport and John nodded to Andy, standing by the car. He smiled at them, clicking his heels when they were close enough. Anna leaned forward, kissing both his cheeks in the French fashion, "How are you Andy?"

"Doing very well Doctor Smith." Andy took the bag from John before opening the backdoor. "Ms. Baxter and Mr. Moseley say hello."

"Oh how is Phyllis?"

"She's doing very well."

"I hope I'll see them when we get there."

"They're actually on vacation in Majorca."

Anna whistled, "In this heat, I don't envy them."

"Me either Doctor Smith. I'm of a delicate complexion."

"As am I." Anna climbed into the backseat and John followed.

He pulled the door closed and sighed, "Andy'll drive us to my place and then we'll take the train to Berlin tomorrow."

"Okay." Anna pulled his hand into her lap, holding it tightly. When he tensed in her grip she stopped. Turning to him, Anna frowned, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Anna raised an eyebrow, "I can see it on your face. Something's bothering you. What is it?"

"It's- it's-" John shook his head, "It's nothing. It's stupid."

"John, you keep saying things like this."

"Because I get so carried away by things and I don't think before I need to stop myself. It's just stress and… and nothing important."

"Nothing important?" Anna noted how John looked forward at Andy when he entered the car and she smiled. "I do hope you're not feeling jealous."

"No, I'm-"

Anna kissed John's cheek. "I think it's rather sweet."

"You kissed him."

"It's just a French greeting, nothing more. Don't worry about it."

"I won't."

They rode in silence for a time, Anna running her thumb over Johns knuckles. When they turned up the drive for the house Anna let out a sigh in relief. John chuckled and Anna turned to him.

"What?"

"You just sighed."

"What of it?"

"It was comfortable. Like you feel at home here." John rubbed a hand up her arm. "I want you to feel at home here."

"I want to too." Anna leaned her head on her shoulder, "And one day it might. For right now it's at least somewhere I have good memories."

"And we'll make some more."

"Yes we will."

Andy pulled the car into the garage and stopped. He opened the back door before springing the boot. Anna climbed out of the car as Andy extended her a hand before handing over the bag.

"I hope the drive wasn't too much of a hassle."

"Perfectly smooth Andy. Thank you." She waited for John to get out of the car. "You're an excellent driver."

"I offered Mr. Bates here to let me drive you both to Berlin but he thought it'd be too far out of the way."

"But you'll be taking us to the train?"

"Yes. Early as it is." John shook his head, "Eleven hours in the car is a bit much Andy. I'm not making you drive that."

"It'd be no problem."

"It's because he knows I'd pay by the mile and the hour." John muttered to Anna so Andy could hear and they all laughed.

"The train's only four hours shorter." Andy argued.

"But I like it better than the plane." John shuffled, "The train's got more leg room and I don't want to be squished at ten thousand feet."

"We've all got our little quirks." Anna pointed toward the house, "Is dinner on? Mrs. Patmore's quirk will have us all on our ears if we refuse it. And I don't know about you all but I'm starved."

"She's right." John led them to the house, holding the door for Anna. "And Mrs. Patmore's going to give us an hour after she sees us pass through her kitchen."

"I think she's seen us," Anna waved to the small, rotund woman pounding out something on a long wooden table. "But it'll be alright."

"Yes it will." John led them up the stairs and directed Anna to the other side of the hallway from her previous visit. They walked down the corridor and John pushed the door open, stepping back to show her the room.

Anna peeked in, "Is this yours?"

"Yes." John fidgeted, "If it's too presumptuous then I can make up the other room and you-"

"John," Anna kissed his cheek, "It's fine and I'm glad. I think being close to you is a privilege that we've had too few and far between. I won't argue with this chance now. Okay?"

"Okay." John took her hand, "Let me show you the room then."

John led Anna around the room and they situated her things before going down to dinner. It was a smaller affair than her visit a few months ago but when they went back to John's room Anna noticed how he fidgeted. They changed separately into pajamas and when Anna emerged from the bathroom she noted how his hand practically shook on his cane. Taking his hand Anna led him to the bed and laid down.

"I don't want you to feel that you need-"

"Shh." Anna put her finger over his lips, "If I didn't want to be here with you I wouldn't be. Now relax and fall asleep."

She tucked herself with her back to his chest and pulled his right arm around her. John's arms stiffened around her at first but slowly relaxed. Their breathing synced and soon Anna smiled to herself as she heard his gentle snoring. Turning slightly in his arms Anna put her face in the crook of his neck after kissing his cheek.

"Goodnight John."

* * *

The intern from the prosecutor's office jogged toward them as they entered the courthouse. She nodded quickly at them before ushering them to follow her. Her English, perfect but for the edge on her pronunciation, quickly apprised them of the situation.

"Her lawyer has been very persuasive and the testimonies of the warden and her immediate attendant guards are all in favor of a quick release." The woman held the door open, "I think she might get it."

"Why?"

"Because prisons here need the room for more dangerous people and, like it or not, larceny is not a crime as serious as murder." She pointed inside, "Now please. They're starting soon and the judge doesn't want to wait."

Anna followed John to their seats. She sat as he shook hands with the prosecutor a moment. It gave her a minute to eye the room but it was not enough time for Anna to take everything in before a door opened.

Had anyone asked her what she expected when she first laid eyes on Vera Bates, Anna would have had no good answer. John's ex-wife was a mystery to her. All she could really say was it was a woman who had done harm to John's career and his life. But that made her more of a shadow than a real person to Anna.

However, the tightening grip on the cane in his right hand would tell anyone observant enough to notice that John was reasonably terrified of the woman. That raised the hair on Anna's arms and at the back of her neck. This was a shadow with teeth and Anna wanted to avoid getting bit by it. So while she could not say what she expected, what Anna could honestly attest to never expecting was how calm the woman appeared.

Given the shadow in her vision Anna might have linked her closer to a rabid animal. When the door opened Anna only kept her jaw from dropping by clamping it shut since she did not expect the collected and calculating woman who took her position in the petitioner's box. Vera Bates sat down as relaxed and easy as a Queen presiding over her kingdom set Anna on edge the way it whitened John's knuckles on his cane.

When their eyes met, by what Anna hoped was chance, it sent a teeth-chattering chill down her spine. Vera's eyes met hers from across the room and Anna swore herself blue the windows crackled with the ice in that glare. The swift shift of gaze from Anna to John and back to Anna confirmed in a moment the Vera's suspicions and her gaze became a glare.

Anna straightened her shoulders and held the Vera's stare. The twitch in Vera's facial muscles betrayed her but Anna suppressed the desire to smile in victory. She won nothing yet but a fraction of a staring contest. That was like winning a coin toss before a war with stinger missiles and tanks. This, without any words exchanged between the two of them, was a fight to the death in a war zone Anna knew almost nothing about. Twitch or no, she was already horribly outmatched in this.

They all rose for the judge and Anna watched in silent horror as John grew more and more agitated. Every one of his arguments, his references to Vera's character, and even his assertions that her past actions were prologue, fell on the judge's deaf ears. With the bang of his gavel he ruled against the prosecution's recommendations for Vera to finish the end of her sentence.

John's face fell and only Anna's swift catch of his cane stopped it banging against the floor. The move caught Vera's eye and her mouth turned up in an unattractive sneer. She nodded her head at them and followed the guards from the room. The hollow words of the prosecution fell on deaf ears but Anna thanked them anyway, leading John from the room.

Their cab ride to their hotel was silent but not a comfortable one. John just stared out the window, grinding his teeth. Anna rested her hand over his on the head of his cane but he barely moved. Everything in his posture told her he was close to snapping or breaking down in tears.

When they got back to the room John sat on the edge of the bed, staring off into space. Anna pulled at the fingers of one hand a moment before grabbing her bag and heading into the bathroom. She dug in the contents and stared at the box hidden beneath her clothes. It was a risk but one she needed to take. Anna hauled the box free and locked the bathroom door.

A few moments later, pulling at a strap to tighten the corset and wishing she did not feel as foolish as she did, Anna pushed her way out into the room. John was still lost in thought, grinding his teeth while sitting on the end of the bed. He glanced up at her presence and his jaw dropped. Anna gathered her breath and pushed at his shoulder with the leather handle.

"On the bed Mr. Bates."

"Anna?"

"On the bed." John scrambled back as Anna stood at the end of the bed, holding the leather handle of the novelty riding crop in her hands. "If you're not up for this then you should say so now because I'm feeling incredibly stupid dressing like this."

"What is all this?"

"After the charity ball you mentioned something about wanting to see me do something with strappy heels." Anna brought one of her feet up and showed John the black leather high heel with the straps wrapping her ankle. "I thought I shouldn't waste the opportunity there and someone at work mentioned something about a kink factory or something in London and I thought-"

"You look marvelous."

Anna stopped, studying John's face. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated, and his breathing was shallow. She flicked her gaze downward a moment and smiled to herself at the state of his tented trousers. "Thank you for noticing Mr. Bates."

"You're not going to gag me or anything are you?"

"Do you want me to?" John shook his head and Anna pulled the two ribbons off her leather corset. "Then I'm just going to tie your hands to the bedposts and see if we like it."

"Shouldn't I?" John pointed to his clothes and Anna nodded. She watched as he stripped, leaving his cane to balance on the bedside table, and took position sitting back against the headboard. He held out his hands and Anna tied them to the bedposts, testing them so John could slip free if he wanted.

"Now there's supposed to be something like a safe word but I didn't really prepare any and I don't know what you'd want to use."

"Emerald."

"As in Ireland?" John shrugged and Anna drew the end of the riding crop down his arm. "It's good enough I guess. I wouldn't want to think about home if I was tied to the bed."

"Maybe next time." John teased, reaching for her mouth.

Anna drew back, "Maybe. We'll see how you do this time."

"Tease."

"Beast." Anna responded and mounted the bed. She positioned herself low on John's legs and grinned at him. "Now I seem to remember doing something like this to you in Ireland, waking you up with some specialized attention."

"I remember."

"Good. Let's make sure your body does too." Anna gathered her hair behind her, tying it up out of the way and shifting in the leather corset. "Next time I might get something a little less restrictive."

"I'd say you should try it with nothing on next time." John leered at her and Anna wagged her finger.

"Don't be too smug Mr. Bates. I haven't even started on you."

John tried to gesture with his hands but the silk straps held him back. He chuckled, "Don't let me stop you Doctor."

"Using my salutation will just get you in more trouble." Anna scooted forward, placing her hands on either side of his face. "But maybe you want trouble."

"I got you in the strappy heels didn't I?" John leaned his head forward, catching her mouth. He pulled at her lips a moment and Anna gave herself over to the kiss. But when John tried to reach for her he whined as the straps kept him back.

Laughing to herself, then feigning a pout, Anna moved forward until she trapped John's half-hard erection between them. "Feeling a little out of power?

"Yes."

"Do you want me to continue Mr. Bates?"

"Yes please."

Anna plowed her fingers through his hair and tugged back to expose his neck to her. Her lips ghosted over his skin, tantalizing him with occasional sucks hard enough to leave red marks over him and other times barely licking with the tip of her tongue. John squirmed under her, panting, as Anna ran her hands over his chest.

She risked a moment back up by his mouth, just catching the edge of his lips, and then giggled to herself as she moved down again. Her nails scored into his sides, playing over his skin so it burned hotter. His hips bucked under her and Anna moaned as he rubbed her center through the flimsy silk knickers she wore. Adjusting Anna removed them, tossing them aside to grind shamelessly against his pulsing erection.

John gasped, moving with her and tugging at the bindings holding him in place. She shifted lower, running her hand over him to tug and twist until John groaned, and pulled two of her fingers into her mouth. Sucking a moment, Anna spread her legs and started running her fingers over her folds just as she licked a stripe up John from the underside. He jerked in her grip and Anna lowered her mouth to run her tongue over the top of his weeping head.

"Anna," He bucked under her and Anna took him in her mouth.

The feel of him sent Anna's eyes rolling back in her head and her own fingers deeper. Matching his thrusts with touches of her tongue and the teasing of her teeth, Anna drove herself higher with the depth of her fingers. The spot she needed sat just within her reach and Anna curled her fingers there while sucking hard on John.

He growled, hips bucking erratically, and Anna fell over the edge. She pulled off him, breathing hard, and sat back a moment. John half-sobbed and Anna reached up a hand to untie one of his. With the freedom of one hand he slipped the other loose and used it to drag her hips forward.

A tiny adjustment later and Anna let her head fall back, John seated fully inside her. His hands sculpted over her body, kneading the skin he could reach while tearing at the leather corset. He freed her from its confines and buried his head between her breasts, turning to either side to ensue he lathered both sides effectively with kisses before suckling the right one. Anna moaned, rolling her hips over him so he struck her nerves right where she needed.

When John turned his attentions to her other breast his fingers dived down to pinch and press at her nerves. Anna shrieked, clawing her nails over his back to sink deep into his shoulders. Even attempting to find a hold proved difficult as John's hips drove her toward the edge again.

A determined tug with his fingers sent the white bursting behind Anna's eyes. She collapsed against John and barely felt as he flipped them over. Her back, sweaty from the leather corset, stuck to the sheets of the bed to tangle in them. John pistoned his hips, sending Anna sparking as he struck her sensitized nerves. The only sound her fuzzy mind made out was the call of her name before John collapsed on her.

Anna wrapped her arms over him, feeling the small scratches she made at his shoulders, and sighed into his neck. John tried to move but Anna only allowed him enough room to shift sideways. She kept a leg wrapped over his hip and remembered her heel when it grazed his calf. John twitched away and Anna hurried to apologize.

John silenced her with a kiss and smiled, "It just surprised me."

"Just now or from the beginning?" Anna laughed and reached down to unstrap the shoes. She dropped them over the side of the bed and kicked the corset off the end.

"Both." John used a finger to lift some hair from Anna's forehead. "That was rather daring."

"I thought we might need it." Anna settled in his hold. "Either we'd use it to celebrate or we'd use it commiserate."

"You wanted to commiserate with me wearing a leather corset?"

"Better I wear nothing?" Anna joked and John kissed her again.

"Just better that you're here with me."

"Better that you're here for me too." Anna burrowed next to him. "When I'm not near you I dream about you. It's the best part of closing my eyes."

"I almost don't want to close my eyes." John whispered.

Anna shifted to look at him, "Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid I'll wake up and I'll find out I'd never met you or that Vera was still in my life." John tightened his hold, "I just worry that this'll be over and everything'll be as bad as it was before."

"Well you can close your eyes John because I'm not a dream." Anna ran a hand over his arm. "I'm always here for you. I promise."


	14. Magic at Midnight

Anna tapped her foot against the floor, chewing a bit on her nail. Mary, sitting next to her at the desk, twisted her chair back and forth. Talbot and Branson paced the lab at opposite ends, occasionally bumping into one another. None of them spoke, keeping whatever thoughts they had to themselves.

The phone rang and Anna jumped. All eyes were on her as she steadied her breathing before reaching for the phone. She lifted it off the holder on the third ring and brought it to her ear with a quivering hand.

"Grantham Labs this is Doctor Anna Smith speaking."

"Doctor Smith this is Evelyn Napier. Do you remember me?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm calling to inform you that you're drug has been approved for human trials. You start end of December."

Anna tried to move her tongue in her mouth but it was almost too dry. She coughed, "That's wonderful news."

"Yes, yes it is. We're excited by the results we've seen from Grantham Labs and we've got a few doctors willing to test out your research. They'll be contacting you to finalize the plans for the human trials. We're hoping for great things."

"Thank you Mr. Napier, so do we." Anna hung up the phone and turned to the three other scientists at the edge of their sanity. "They approved us."

Talbot and Branson fist pumped the air and hugged one another while Mary grabbed Anna from behind to hold her tightly about the shoulders. "I knew it!"

"Okay," Anna extricated herself from the grip, "We get a week to celebrate then it's back to work."

"So soon?"

"They want to start end of December and since that's just next month we're not going to let them down." Anna clapped her hands together, "I want your drafts for proposals in my inbox by end of the day then your week of freedom starts. Deal?"

"Deal boss." Talbot said as Branson shook Anna's hand.

"Congratulations Anna."

"To all of us, Tom. This belongs to all of us."

Anna spent the rest of the day filing through their original proposal and fielding calls from the doctors wanting to submit possible patients for their study. After hours of studying people's x-rays and charts Anna rubbed her eyes to see the time on the computer clock. The lab had long emptied, leaving Anna to sit in the near dark alone.

Sighing to herself, Anna flicked off the lights and gathered her things. A vibration in her pocket drew her attention and Anna dug for her mobile, flicking it open as the lift landed at her floor. She entered, hit the button, and checked the text. Reading the words there put a smile on Anna's face.

The doors to the lift opened and Anna dialed John's number, putting the mobile to her ear as she walked across the carpark to her car. The voice on the other end of the line betrayed the joy in John's voice. "Hello there."

"Hello." Anna unlocked her car and climbed in, connecting the lead and her earbud to the phone. "I hope you don't feel bad that I'm calling you so late."

"I'm happy you're calling to tell me the good news."

"It's cheating when you already know."

"Robert telling me that my investment paid off is not the same as my girlfriend calling to celebrate a huge success for her." She heard something that sounded like John settling in a chair. "Tell me how it feels."

"I don't know." Anna waved at the security guard and turned out of the parking garage to enter the lighter evening traffic. "How do you describe shock and joy and fear as they fight for dominance in your chest?"

"That sounded pretty good."

"You know what I mean."

"I think you're looking for me to tell you how you're going to be more than fine." Anna waited but John did not say anything.

"Was that not what you were about to say?"

"No because you're going to be more than fine. You're a brilliant scientist, you're a dedicated worker-"

"As evidenced by my team leaving hours ago and I'm only just dragging myself from the lab?"

"Be that as it may," Anna bit back the smile as John's playfully reprimanding tone. "You're going to handle this like you have everything else. With professional optimism and enough compassion to put the world to shame."

"You're biased."

"Of course I am. What else could I possibly be?"

"You win there." Anna pulled her car into the parking of her building and stopped there. "I don't want to fail all those people depending on me John."

"You won't. Even if it doesn't work like you think it will you made it this far and you either win or you learn."

"Nelson Mandela said that."

"And now I did too." Anna laughed and settled back against her seat, loving the sound of John's voice. "Trust yourself Anna. I do."

"That means a lot to me you know."

"I hope so." There was a noise in the background and John groaned, "I've got to go. Something's come up with our new line launch in China and we're buried in piles of legal legwork to get it going again."

"Alright. Go save Chinese chocolate then. And John?" Anna waited, making sure he was still on the line. "We should have preliminary results by March. If there's positive feedback then I want to go and tell your mother."

"That sounds wonderful. But I'd like to see you before then."

"When?"

"Would you consider Christmas here, in France, with me?"

Anna could not stop her smile, "I'd love to celebrate Christmas with you John."

* * *

Anna wrapped her arms around John as he waited in the arrivals terminal for her. He held her close, burying his face in her neck. Anna positioned herself to kiss his cheek before leaning back. "I like this reason better than the last time we had to greet one another in this airport."

"Me too." John confided, kissing her hand, "Much better."

"Has there been news, about that?"

"Given the processing time the prosecution's said that she'll be a free woman by beginning of January." John shrugged, "I'm learning to live with it."

"Should you have to?"

"She's not my wife any longer so it's not really supposed to be a worry for me. She's got no hold on me and I've got none on her." John's cane clacked on the floor and Anna threaded her arm through his left while they walked to baggage claim. "My only connection to her is the trial and the parole hearing but since that went her way what am I to her?"

"More than we think." Anna leaned her head on John's arm. "The look she gave me in that courtroom John… it terrified me."

"She's always had a way of doing that."

"Would she ever come after you? Given you helped put her behind bars is that likely?"

John shook his head, "Even if she did there's nothing to gain by it. I'm nothing to her and I haven't been for a long time. I never visited her in prison and I've nothing to do with her life."

"That doesn't always stop people."

"Feels like your personal experience coming through on that one." John weaved their fingers together as the first bags tumbled onto the rotating kiosk. "Is Green still bothering you?"

"Not since I filed that restraining order on him before I came here for Vera's trial." Anna shrugged, craning her head when she thought she saw her bag then settling. "I don't know what I would've done if Tom hadn't been there. He looked absolutely rabid and I wasn't so much scared as stuck."

"Stuck?"

"What do you do when people won't respond to reason?"

"Don't ask me. I was married to Vera for ten years and I still can't claim I cracked anymore of her shell than what she handed me and even that was a lie."

Anna broke away from John to grab her bag and put her carryon atop it, pulling the handle extension so she could steer it in a drag. "We've just attracted the worst haven't we?"

"Might be a side effect of having the best in our lives at the moment." John kissed Anna's cheek and she swatted at him.

"Charmer."

"For you, always." John grinned and then sobered. "The most important thing we can do is not let them have power over our lives. They're far away from us for the moment, by law, and we'll take the beauty of that for what it is yes?"

"Absolutely." Anna kissed him quickly, "The beauty of what it is."

They walked out to the car and Anna, conscious of John, kept her greeting with Andy to a handshake. He took her bags to the trunk as John held the door open for her. Anna smiled to herself as she slid inside and waited for John to join her.

She took his hand, giggling to herself. John adjusted, pretending to frown at her, and studied her face. "What's so funny Doctor?"

"I was just thinking about what it'd be like to get used to this kind of treatment."

"Why shouldn't you?"

"Because," Anna shrugged, "I only get this once every few months and if I had it all the time I'd probably be one of those people who slides into the back of a nice car like it's a seat on the Tube and I don't want that."

"If you ever lived with me this would be how it'd be most of the time." John massaged his leg, "This tends to make driving long distances pretty difficult."

"Then I'd drive."

"I wouldn't turn you in my chauffer." John waved a hand up toward Andy. "He's the one driving because he's young and I pay him for it."

"And the part about needing a nice car?"

"I needed one with enough space in the back seat to stretch my leg and apparently that doesn't come in most, traditional, personal vehicles." John chuckled, "Have you ever tried to stretch out in the back of an Audi or a Nissan?"

"In Uni there was a time I tried it…" Anna bit her lip, sneaking a glance at John. He shifted in his seat and Anna restrained herself from encouraging the movement she noticed in his trousers. "But I guess it helped the boy I was with was about as short as I am. We fit alright but I wouldn't try it again."

"Never?"

"Well, not with him. He was all speed and desperation. Very unattractive." Anna kept her gaze forward, digging her nails into her hand to keep from responding to the interest in John's voice.

"What if the opportunity, with someone else, came again?"

"I think I'd want to make sure there wasn't a driver in the front seat." Anna leaned over to whisper in John's ear, "I'm a little loud."

John only coughed and Anna settled back against the seat. His leg adjusted, to fully stretch out in the space between them and the front seat, giving Anna a chance to really admire how long his legs were. For her size, everything was bigger than she was but something about the subtle grace to John always gave her pause. She was no artist, low grades in primary and secondary school art courses attested to that, but she was appreciative of good art. John was good art.

Somewhere in the roads to John's home, Anna lost herself in her inspection of John. Normally staring at anyone too long put her off, or made her feel weird, but not John. The way his hair would only behave under the influence of product while it tried to wave free. She loved raking her hands through his hair when it felt soft and airy under her fingers.

Or his shoulders. They rolled back, standing tall despite all he had seen in his life. Anna swallowed past the rise of heat in her cheeks when she considered all the times her nails had scored there as he sent her soaring with pleasure. Or even when they rose and fell while he took in deep breaths to steady himself after his own climax.

Something in Anna's demeanor must have changed because John turned to her. For a moment Anna could not tell how he judged the quickness of her breathing, of what she guessed would be the dilation of her pupils, or the slight opening of her lips to let her shallow breathing partially inflate her lungs. But when John raised a hand to her cheek, stroking slowly over her cheekbone, Anna knew immediately.

They held their statuesque positions while Andy trundled the car up the drive. He called back to them, saying something Anna heard as if someone yelled it through a wall. John responded but Anna's focus was entirely taken with John's mouth.

A beat passed, Anna fearing the door might open, but it never did. Instead John moved forward, cupping her other cheek in his remaining hand. His tongue darted out, licking over his lower lip, and Anna wanted nothing more than to do it for him.

"If you're not opposed, I'd like to see how much space this backseat really has."

Anna surged forward, clutching at the strong shoulders she had been admiring for their whole drive, and took his mouth. Her fingers buried themselves in his hair, tugging at the roots to pull him where she wanted. His moaning response in her mouth only gave Anna the confidence she needed to straddle him.

John wrapped a hand around the back of her neck as Anna slanted her mouth over his to take more of him. Her hips, almost of their own accord, ground down on the earlier suggestion of arousal. The groan that reached her ears had Anna grinning into the kiss.

Running her tongue along his lower lip Anna thrust into his mouth. John dug his fingers into the flesh of her hip and Anna regretted having decided to wear jeans on this trip. With a determined rake through his hair Anna rolled her hips to feel him right where her heat gathered.

The flick of his fingers, smoother than she realized or appreciated in the moment, had the button of her jeans undone. Anna twitched at the touch of his fingers, colder than she was expecting. But when he teased them over her center Anna cried out. She broke the kiss to pull air into her lungs.

John seized the advantage and attacked her neck, licking and sucking over her skin. His fingers slipped in the slick there and Anna hurried her fingers to the hem of her shirt. He did not seem at all bothered by the fabric there, or the fabric covering her legs, since his mouth moved over her breasts through her shirt and his hand kneaded the flesh of her ass through her jeans.

They slid over one another, the scratch of her jeans on his trousers grating on Anna's ears. She wanted them out of the way but, between John's determined fingers working over her folds and slipping between them, it was all she could do not to come right there. Her fingers finally found the edge of her shirt and she yanked it over her head to drop to the floor of the car.

The action sent John's mouth into overdrive, sliding around her breasts and neck to cover her with kisses. Anna gyrated against the insistence of his fingers and the movement drove her forward toward where John strained in his trousers. But as Anna went to grab his belt John pinched her nerves.

Perhaps it was the confines of the car or maybe it was the leather interior but the echo of Anna's shriek rang in her ears. Her nails crumpled John's shirt in her grasp and her forehead rested on his shoulder, her body shaking as she came back down. With all her nerves firing off signals it took her a moment to register the soft kisses and gentle touches John applied to her sweating skin.

But when Anna did move she had no time to waste. Crouching, despite her small frame, Anna pushed back off John's lap. One of his arms tried to hold her close but Anna took his fingers, glistening in the low light reflected through the windows from the garage, and sucked on them while she forced her jeans and knickers off her legs.

The thump of them on the floor had John fumbling with the buttons on his shirt in time with Anna's determined fingers pulling his trousers open and away. They, and his underwear, stopped at his knees but it was enough for Anna. She mounted him again, trapping John's arms between them with his buttons half undone, and wrapped her hand determinedly around his erection. He twitched in her grip, sides quivering in time with the way his eyelids fluttered closed.

Anna grinned to herself, licking her lips. She timed it perfectly. John's hands flailed to hold at her, his eyes rolled a bit under her ministrations, and his chest pressed against hers in rapid time. With a swift remove of her hand, Anna sank down on him and took possession of his mouth.

John's eyes flew open, his hands clung to her waist, and his tongue could barely respond to Anna's insistent press in his mouth. She controlled their movements, reveling in how deeply he struck within her while exultant in his feeble attempts to control himself. With a suck on his tongue John was lost and Anna threw her head back to call out his name as he gave over to the most primal of reactions. Frenzied drives filled her completely and with a slight angle adjustment John hit right were her nerves screamed for further attention.

Breaking with an explosion of white behind her eyes, Anna tightened her grip on John. He thrust wildly, a kind of frantic energy in his expression, and finally released. His head leaned forward, resting on her shoulder, and Anna held him in place while their breathing calmed.

In the quiet, the stuffiness of the car brought the sensation of sweat on her skin and the slide of it under her fingers as she held John close to her attention. Anna shifted, sliding off John as carefully as she could before resting back on the seat next to him, and let out a breath. She laughed to herself, residual tension coming out of her.

John turned his head toward her, a smile picking up the corners of his mouth. "What is it?"

"I have to wonder, what does poor Andy think right now?"

"I don't really care what Andy thinks right now."

"Andy has to drive this car." Anna reached forward, pulling her knickers up her legs. "And everyone in your house'll know why we didn't come in immediately."

"They're only got each other to talk to."

"I don't know how much I like the idea of people giving me looks because they know I got my leg over in the car before I could even get in your house."

"You did rather have your way with me didn't you." John snickered and Anna gave him a half-hearted scowl while she pressed her shoulders on the seat to lift her hips and button her jeans.

"And not you with me?" She gestured to her newly buttoned jeans, "You're the one who opened these."

"You straddled me first."

"Whatever you say." Anna pulled her shirt back over her head, "I think you got jealous thinking that I may've, at one time, had sex with someone who wasn't you in the back of a car."

"The thought may've entered my mind." John tucked his shirt back into his trousers and ran a hand through his hair. "But Andy should've put your bag in my room by now and then gone on break or something."

"Or something?"

"I don't really know what I said." John admitted and Anna kissed his cheek.

"I don't know what you said either. But this is why I don't like the idea of a chauffer. You have to explain to them what it is you did in the car."

"It's my car. I can do what I like in it."

"Most people just drive in cars."

"We're not most people Anna."

"No, we're not are we?" Anna tugged his hand, "Come on, I don't want them coming to look for us."

The rest of the Christmas holiday was better than Anna could have hoped. John's house was positively bedecked with tinsel, baubles, and a tree large enough to almost scrape the two-storied domed ceiling of his entryway. The smell of cinnamon and nutmeg permeated every corner of the house, quickly covering any of the scents of sex Anna worried they might have brought with them from the car. And, to her relief, even if everyone knew exactly what they had done in the garage no one even batted an eye.

Phyllis and Moseley welcomed them with open arms and quickly explained the details of the house for the holidays. On Christmas Eve John hosted a Christmas party for his employees from the chocolate factory in the valley and the house staff catered the event. Christmas Day was the dinner for the house staff, all cooked to perfection by Mrs. Patmore, while Boxing Day was for whatever activities anyone had planned.

Anna nodded through all the details and almost wanted to spectate the whole event. But watching John act as the ultimate host was too much for her to stay away. Anna adored being on his arm for the parties, meeting all those who had nothing but kind words for her and John, and watching faces light up during the Secret Santa or the lighting of the tree.

After the party on Christmas Eve Anna and John sat together in the library, curled up in front of the large fire, under a blanket. She snuggled closer to him, her eyes drooping shut. John ran a finger down her nose and Anna started. Their eyes met and she buried her head by the crook of his neck with a sigh.

"I'm not used to so much activity."

"How do you celebrate Christmas Eve?"

"Usually?" Anna shrugged, staring into the fire. "Alone. Elsie and I do a dinner together on Christmas Day but Christmas Eve I usually enjoy sleeping in, maybe binge watching something I've saved up or reading for pleasure instead of for work, then I take whatever's in my fridge and see what I can make with it."

John chuckled, "Sounds worse than a single man's flat."

"It's bad some years. One time it was just expired biscuits and some macaroni." Anna shuddered, "Not a great memory."

"What about with your family?"

"When my dad was alive it was gingerbread houses and ice skating. I hated gingerbread then and still do now but whenever I smell it, I think of him."

"The sensory centers for smell are close to the memory centers in the brain. It's why we associate smells closely with our memories." John sighed, "Whiskey."

"What about it?"

"The smell that reminds me of Christmas. My mum always let me take a dram of whiskey with coffee on Christmas Morning. Called it her 'Irish Surprise' but I think she really used it to get her through the day."

"Christmas hard for her?"

"Yes and no. My father insisted we take lunch shift at the local food kitchen." John sighed, "For all my father's faults he wanted to do good in the world. That's what I wanted to remember most about him, above anything else."

"Above the hard school master and semi-violent father?"

John nodded, "We want to remember people better than they were because I think everyone wants to be better than they are."

Anna leaned her head on John's shoulder, "They do."

"Well," John kissed Anna's forehead and grabbed his cane to work himself to his feet. He bent back over, giving Anna a hand, "If we're not in bed soon Father Christmas will pass us by."

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" The clock chimed midnight and Anna locked her arms around John's neck, "Happy Christmas John."

"Happy Christmas Anna."

* * *

Anna waited at the arrivals gate. The bedecked terminal bathed everyone greeting their family members in a hue of green. When the stream calmed slightly Anna grinned to see John keeping his pace with his cane clacking over the floor. His face split into a wide smile when he saw her and they hugged there in the terminal.

"We need to stop meeting one another in airports." John rubbed his hand over Anna's back as she clung to him. "It'll give everyone the wrong impression."

"Which is what, Mr. Bates?" Anna raised an eyebrow, "That I'm your mistress or something?"

"Perhaps." John took her hand, after looping his bag over his other shoulder, "Or that we're only made for these quick visits."

"I think, if we've lasted a year like this, we're a bit more than that." Anna guided them to the street where Mr. Laing waited with the car. "I hope you don't mind me taking the initiative on this."

"Why would I mind?" John gestured to the airport, "The woman I love arranged a getaway for us to Dublin. What's not to love about that?"

"It gets better, I promise."

"You did mention a surprise of some kind."

"I did," Anna urged John into the car. "But you have to wait for it."

John paused, tipping his mouth close to her ear, "Does it have anything to do with leather, like in Germany?"

Anna shivered, "No but the next one might."

They got into the backseat, Laing taking the front after securing their things in the boot, and pulling into the traffic. They weaved through the streets of Dublin and Anna saw from John's face that he recognized the route. When he turned to Anna for explanation she folded his fingers with hers.

"Just wait. I promise I'll explain."

They arrived at the cemetery and Anna led the way out of the car. The familiar crunch of the gravel under John's cane reminded Anna of the first time they came here. This time the sun could not make up its mind whether or not it wanted to come out and really give light to the world but Anna hardly cared. She was excited enough without it.

When they reached John's parents' graves Anna took John's hands in hers. "I asked you, six months ago, if all went well in the human trials could we come here and tell your mother."

John's mouth dropped open a bit, "They're going well?"

"Better than expected. There's still a mortality rate and it's still a ravaging disease but cases like your mother's will be a thing of the past. We've slowed spread, cut down on pain, and even have a few cases going to full remission. Not many but a few. With a couple tweaks we could even-"

John seized Anna's mouth for a kiss and she gave over to it. After a moment he broke away and hugged Anna close. From the shake of his shoulders she could tell he was sobbing. Anna wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly as he wept into the fabric of her jacket.

"You've no idea how long I've waited for this news."

"It's going to be alright John. We never could've done it without you," Anna backed up slightly to see his face, tear stained and beautiful. "Your mother is so proud of you."

"She has reason to be proud now."

Anna kissed John's cheek, "She always did."


	15. If Ever There Was a Moment

Anna pulled at the dress and sighed, "I hate these things."

"But Elsie makes such wonderful dresses for you." John came from behind her, adjusting his bowtie in the mirror. "And you look stunning."

"Thank you and I do love Elsie's dresses."

"Then what's the matter with the dress?"

"It's not the dress, it's the small talk. These people are either interesting as stumps or so self-absorbed you're just listening to what they'll tell the ghost writers of their autobiographies."

"Maybe you should think about what you want to tell the ghost writer of your autobiography."

"I'm never writing one."

"Why not?"

"Because my experiences are my own. Selfish as that could sound I refute any arguments that people would be made better by reading some book with my profile in black and white on the cover." Anna bent to pull her heels over her feet. "I don't care what happens with my life or my research because nothing is worth handing over my privacy."

"What if there are little girls in this world desperate to become you one day but, because they don't have your book, they never get the chance?"

"Don't try and guilt trip me John Bates." Anna leveled a finger at him before putting on her earrings. "And those girls can be inspired by the work I actually publish in journals."

"True." John worked his jacket over his tux, brushing at the sleeve. "I guess I could see the loss of privacy being a big thing."

"It is. Besides, this conference isn't even about my work. It's a networking gig and I hate those." Anna shook her head, "Just money and scientists bumping up against one another and trying to mate."

"That's a disturbing image."

"It'll be worse once you see it in action." Anna straightened, "I think I'm as ready as I'll be."

"You look beautiful."

"You'd say that anyway." Anna collected her handbag and slipped her light blue mask over her eyes. "Shall we?"

John grabbed his cane and they left the hotel room. The lift to the ground floor had them crammed in with a few twenty-something hipsters, all speaking loudly about someplace called Gay Village in their achingly oblivious American accents. When the doors dinged open Anna and John waited a moment for them to leave. Anna gave a scoffing sigh.

"Too much money and too little sense."

"Which part?"

"They're going to try and Uber their way to Gay Village."

John raised an eyebrow, "That's not a euphemism?"

"No, it's a party on Friday nights in the summer here." Anna twirled her hand up toward the ceiling, "I guess, when in Rome."

"I've enjoyed it so far. Seeing all the overly crowded tourists sights and paying out the nose for overpriced gelato."

Anna hugged herself close to John's arm, "And I'm glad you're here to share it with me. Otherwise I'd have slit my wrists after that talk on revolutionizing gene therapy."

"He was rather dull wasn't he?" Anna and John looked up to see Mary and her husband Matthew joining them. "I thought we disproved his suggestion last month in that article Talbot moaned about writing."

"We did. I don't think they've translated it into German yet."

"If it was bad for us, imagine what the poor translators thought." Mary shuddered, "I'd have fallen asleep midsentence."

"They don't get paid if that happens." Matthew interjected before pointing at John's tux. "That's rather nice white tie. French?"

"I actually bought it in Ireland, a long time ago." John looked at the suit, "Not sure what impresses me more. The fact that I can still wear it or that I bought one in the first place."

"Well let's find our tables before we're subjected to anyone trying to nose in on our research for small talk." Mary led the charge across the entryway of the hotel to the large ballroom. "Though I have to say, these masks are atrociously annoying."

"It's charity Mary." Anna tapped on her mask, "Each one represents a donation to children in need."

"And a few people in a little less need." Mary gruffed and smiled, "Oh, there's Tony Gillingham. Matthew let's go and say hello."

"We just saw him for Bastille Day." Matthew groaned but followed Mary across the ballroom.

Anna laughed, pointing toward the table where Branson and Talbot sat. "Do you imagine we'll be like that?"

"You dragging me hither and yon around overly decorated ballrooms?" John beat her to her seat, drawing it out so she could sit down. "I don't think I'd mind being the man candy on your arm."

"You're a good representation of it." Talbot stood, shaking John's hand, "Pleasure to see you again Mr. Bates."

"Pleasure to be seen in this gorgeous hotel in the Eternal City."

"They did pick a nice one this year." Branson took his turn, "I don't know if you remember my wife, Sybil."

"It's been a long time but I do." John shook the bright-eyed woman's hand. "If your father's not being overly presumptuous then I believe I owe you a word of congratulations."

"He's not wrong." Sybil drew a picture from her purse, "We had the three-month scan before we flew out. They're convinced it's a girl."

"Tom," Anna flicked water at her co-worker, "That deserves a place on the fridge and you didn't say a word."

"It's not his fault." Sybil covered Branson's hand, "I asked him not to say anything just yet since so many things can go wrong in the first trimester."

"And now?"

"The doctors think I could have preeclampsia so they're being cautious but everything else looks like it'll be alright."

"Good to know at the start." Anna nodded, "And you'll be staying in London then? Finding a larger flat?"

"Actually," Branson leaned forward, lowering his voice, "I've got an offer from a cousin. He runs a research division in Dublin at the university there and he wants me to head the team."

"He wants you working as a researcher and a teacher?"

"Well," Branson shrugged, "I've always wanted to leave the Smoke for the Fair City and with teaching it'll give me more time to be home."

"Those first months are a crucial time for it." John agreed, "Does Robert know that you're planning to leave?"

Branson cringed, "We haven't told him. We don't have any settled plans yet but the idea's been popping its way into all our conversations lately and it's hard to ignore."

"We've always talked about the possibility of moving to Ireland." Sybil smiled at Branson, "We took our honeymoon in Dublin and we're both a little too in love with it as a city to let it go."

"I can understand that." John admitted and Anna covered his hand under the table. "My parents are buried there so it means a great deal to me."

"So you'd leave me alone with Anna and Mary in the lab?" Talbot finally cut in and sighed, "How will I ever survive?"

"You make it sound so painful Henry." Anna flicked her napkin at him but Talbot deflected with a smile. "Are we truly so bad?"

"Not when Branson's there to defend me. How will I ever stand up against the two of you on my own?"

"I think you'll survive." Anna turned to see Mary approaching them with a grim expression. "What's got you under a cloud?"

"I just heard from Tony that Green found himself another job."

"So?"

"It means he's here, Anna." Mary took her seat, putting a hand on Matthew's arm in gratitude. "That little weasel got himself an invite."

"He's probably the one behind that abysmal research on cell splicing to stop mutagenesis." Talbot pulled out his phone to check something, "Yep, there it is. Man always was a bit of an idiot."

"More than an idiot." Branson agreed, "His thoughts on proliferation of cancerous cells… what a bloody wanker."

"Tom, we're in public." Sybil chided and Branson nodded in agreement.

"Regardless," Anna held up a hand, "We're not going to let him spoil the evening for us. We're here, in Rome, celebrating the success of Talbot's paper and the relationships Mr. Crawley's making for Grantham Labs right now."

"Here, here." Robert joined their table, pulling out a chair for his wife. "And wouldn't you know, a man who claims to be over the medical research division at a university in Dublin just spoke to me about one of my researchers."

Branson busied himself with a water glass.

* * *

Anna leaned over the back of her chair, watching the couples dance around the floor. She smiled to herself, distracted from everything else as they moved together, and started when she felt something on her arm. Her grin broke wider as John took the seat next to her.

Nodding toward the group his face seemed a little pained. "Do you wish you could be out there?"

"I do hope this isn't Mr. Bates trying to find a way to feel guilty about his leg." Anna waited and noted how John looked at the ground. "I can enjoy watching people dance and not be spending any of my time mourning about how I can't dance with them."

"But you wish you could?"

"John," Anna shifted in the chair to hold his hands in hers. "There's a great many things I wish I could do with you that aren't possible."

"Like what?"

"Retire now, surf with dolphins off the coast of Australia, or even skydive in Brazil. Any of those would be worth it."

John frowned, "You're having me on aren't you?"

"Only about the second two." Anna giggled and massaged his hands, "After everything else we can share with one another John, don't get hung up on this one please. It's a little thing and, if we're being honest, I'm not much of a dancer anyway."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Because you think I'm without flaw."

"You are."

"Charmer." Anna kissed John's cheek. "I'm actually feeling a little exhausted and we still have all of tomorrow's lectures to get through before the city-by-night tour so I think we should call it a night."

"As you wish."

They found Mary and Matthew, dancing together in the middle of the floor, and bid them goodnight before waving to Branson and Sybil at the other end of the room. Anna scanned the couples, noting Robert and Cora had gone to bed a few hours ago with Cora complaining of something that might have been some undercooked street fare. Anna frowned and John stopped, searching the room for the object of her distress.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to catch Talbot really quickly to wish him luck before his presentation tomorrow but I don't see him."

"I think he's getting his own kind of luck." John chuckled and Anna shook her head in confusion at him. "He said something about getting someone to whistle 'La Marseillaise' while French kissing so I think one of the French researchers is in for the time of her life."

"Or the time of his." Anna sighed, "Ah well, it was just me being the worried mother hen of the lab I suppose."

"Then you're upset that Branson might be leaving?"

"No. Not in those terms." Anna waved it off, "Tom's a skilled researcher and takes a number of calculated risks that I think we'll miss in the lab but he's got his family to worry about. Having a baby is a big deal and if they think Dublin's the best place and his new job's the best choice than who am I to stand in the way of that?"

"That's very big of you."

"I'm a pragmatist." Anna shrugged and then furrowed her brow as John led her onto the balcony instead of back to the lifts. "John?"

"I wanted a moment alone with you."

"We're about to go up to our room where we can be as alone as we want." She tried to pull him back to the lifts but John held his position. With a groan, Anna followed John's persistent tug on her arm and then held her arms wide. "Alright, we're here."

"Don't you see it?"

Anna shook her head, scanning around them, "It's a beautiful view of the city. What of it?"

"Not that." Anna turned and then covered her mouth with her hands when she saw John kneeling in front of her, holding a small open box. "I meant this."

"John!" Anna reached out with a hand before drawing back, shaking her head, "I don't know what to say."

"That's good because I haven't asked a question yet." John cleared his throat, "I want nothing more than to offer you a home with me, a place way from the world where it's just you and I but I know that you're work's important to you, and I don't want you to think, in any way, that I'm trying to force this decision on you."

"John I couldn't think that."

"Good because Anna there's no one else but you in the entire world I'd be willing to bend over backwards for and whatever it takes to make a marriage work with you, despite the distance or the difficulties, or the adjustments I'll do it."

"Me too."

"If that's the case then," John removed his mask and Anna could see his face clearly, "Anna, will you marry me?"

Anna removed her mask as well, nodding her head emphatically. "Of course I'll marry you."

"Good." John used his cane to stand and Anna helped lift up on his arm. She held out her hand, shaking slightly, and John eased the simple platinum ring over her finger before kissing it. "I thought about diamonds or other stones but I figured you'd want something simple and discreet."

"You know me too well John." Anna rubbed her finger over it, "It's perfect."

"Just like you." John dipped his head and Anna responded to kiss him. "Now, I believe there's a good use for these masks."

"Is there?"

"Yes," John whispered, "If they're the only thing we're wearing."

Anna shivered, "Lead the way Mr. Bates."

They resettled their masks and snagged a lift. To their momentary dismay they had to share it with the same raucous tourists from earlier. However they were far more somber now, a few swaying while reeking of alcohol, and barely managing more than grunts at one another. Anna covered her mouth, keeping a laugh to herself at the state of them, and waited for them to exit at their floor before they continued up.

"I'd almost feel sorry for them if it wasn't all their own fault." Anna snorted, "That's what you get when you go beyond your limits."

"I think people find themselves invincible when they're younger."

"Did you?"

"All the time." John lost his gaze in the past a moment, "Probably one of the reasons I made the mistake of marrying Vera."

"Test of your limits?"

"Test of my mother's." John shrugged, "But we live and learn."

"Not always as quickly as we'd like."

"No," John took Anna's hand in his and brushed his lips over her knuckles, "But we do learn."

"Yes we do."

They left the lift on their floor and Anna withdrew the keycard from her handbag. John shifted a bit of her hair from her neck and Anna closed her eyes to enjoy the warm kisses he left there. She managed to get the door open and soon they were inside the room.

Turning in John's arms, Anna looped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up to kiss him. They did not bother with lights, the glow from the city permeating the room, and Anna thought back to that first night in February over a year ago. That night where she felt home for the first time in her life.

John responded to her kiss with determined slowness, dragging the zipper down the back of her dress. For a moment they both fumbled with their respective shoes, sniggering with laughter as they did so. Beating Anna to the punch, John snagged her in his arms and kissed at her neck while she squealed.

Anna bumped into the wall but immediately sighed into the caresses of John's hands on her back. She leaned forward to kiss at his neck, her own fingers slipping the buttons on his shirt and waistcoat free before pulling at his cuffs to tug his hands free. John risked a moment to yank his tie from its knot and toss it to the floor, followed closely by the thump of his other clothes. Seizing the spare moment Anna forced her dress off her shoulders to pool on the floor.

As she looked up, John turned her to face the wall, kissing over her shoulders to nip close to her bra strap. The drag of his sequined mask rubbed over her skin and her breath hitched. Anna reached a hand back, tangling in the hair near the base of his scalp, and gasped when John's fingers slipped through the elastic band of her thong. His hips rocked against hers while his fingers teased at her clit.

Anna moaned and responded to the digs of his fingers. She forced her thong lower and managed to get it off her legs while John spread her wider to thrust inside. His fingers massaged her as insistently as his mouth kissed over her shoulders and neck. With the flick of his wrist, in time with his thumb stroking over her nerves, Anna shattered.

Only John's arm, holding just under her still encased breasts, kept her vertical. Anna leaned against the wall, breathing hard while John massaged her down from her high. The harshness of her breathing echoed in her ears while the scratch of the mask material rasped against the wallpaper.

She turned in John's embrace and took his mouth. He groaned into her kiss as her hands worked his trouser button free and forced them down his legs with his underwear. They risked a moment of John getting rid of them before Anna pushed him toward the bed.

Landing with a thump Anna grinned at him from her position on his waist. But John surprised her by flipping her onto her back. Anna gasped in time with John's determined kisses and licks at her neck. She writhed under him as John settled between her legs. His fingers pulled the straps of her bra lower and Anna shifted forward to let him unclasp it.

The fabric landed on the floor and Anna hooked her leg over John's hip to draw him closer. They paused, looking at one another in their masks, and John took Anna's left hand in his right. Kissing right where the ring met her finger, John let his other hand glide up her thigh.

Stopping John's movements, Anna shifted up to pull her mask free. Her fingers dragged John's over his head as he brushed at her center. With a nod, Anna opened her legs further and John slid home.

The moan that left Anna's throat was echoed in John's grunt. He shifted a hand under her to alter the angle and drew to the edge before plunging in again. Anna met his slow and deliberate thrusts with practiced ease but obeyed John's slow pace. Their breathing synchronized, filling the room with the symphony they made while their wordless sounds echoed off the walls.

John's mouth took Anna's, stroking his tongue over hers before slipping lower. With her fingers raking in his hair she guided him lower. His teeth and tongue made their practiced serenades to Anna's breasts while keeping tempo with his hips. The rolling motions Anna began sent John groaning around her breast and thickening inside her.

Anna lifted her hips and cried out as John hit right where she needed him. One of his hands snuck between them, pressing and rubbing at Anna's center to send her shrieking over the edge. In the haze she felt the final drives of John's hips before he shuddered inside her.

He stopped himself collapsing on her but Anna pulled him closer. With just the turn of her head Anna gave John a lazy kiss before he rolled to the side. They lay, perpendicular to the headboard of the hotel bed, and let silence rule the room for a moment.

Anna tried to gather her breath, running a hand through her hair before turning toward John. Her hand, with the ring he placed there only an hour ago, caressed over his cheek. He turned his head to kiss the palm before enfolding her fingers in his grip.

"So, future Mrs. Bates, are you happy?"

"More than you can imagine."

"I hope so." John stared into her eyes, "If there was a moment I would show my past self, to get me through all the difficulties, it'd be this one."

"Not ten minutes ago?"

"I never said exactly how long a moment is." John grinned and moved to cover Anna's body with his. "It's not over yet."


	16. Dance with Me

Anna filed through her things and dropped another sweater in a box. John looked up from the box where he examined her books. "Another one?"

"I guess I collect them."

"Anna, I found another dish I don't think you ever used," Anna craned her head to see Elsie in her kitchen holding up a large plate, "What was this from?"

"Secret Santa I think. Just put it in the 'toss' pile." Anna turned back to John, rolling her eyes. "You don't realize all the crap you have until you have to move."

"Are you sure you want to move back to Elsie's house?" John pointed around, "You could ship it to my house."

"That'll just give me an excuse to keep this stuff around when what I need is to chuck the lot of it." Anna dipped to kiss John, "Besides, it'll be good for me. Give me time with Elsie before I move to France and leave her forever."

"It's not like you can't visit her or she can't visit you. Even if things were that bleak, doesn't she have Charles now?" John ducked the pillow Anna threw at him. "What? You know it's true. They spend all their time together."

"I don't have to think about how I'll need to buy earplugs if they forget I'm living there." Anna opened her closet and frowned, "I can't shake the feeling I've forgotten something."

"If you did you can let the next tenant have it." John folded the flaps of the box. "It's like a tangible measurement of your life right before your eyes."

"It's frightening, that's what it is."

"Hey," John maneuvered over the floor to where Anna sat on the edge of her stripped bed. "If you think we're going too fast then we don't have to do this now."

"It's not that." Anna took John's hands in hers, smiling at him, "It's just what you said. Looking at all my material possessions and thinking about what's attached to each of them."

"Some better than others?"

"Some more bittersweet than others." Anna pointed to a book sitting on top of the box John just tried to force close with interlocking flaps. "My stepfather gave me that book the day before I moved in with Elsie. It's all about how science is against God, which I always founds so odd considering what he did to my sister and I."

"Then why keep it?"

"To remind me maybe?" Anna shrugged, "Why do we keep anything? We attached a sentimental value to something insignificant and then say, 'this has meaning' when the phrase 'one man's trash is another man's treasure' is never more true."

"Well it's about to be someone else's treasure and that's alright." John moved to kiss Anna's cheek. "How about we go to dinner once all this is over and you can stay in my hotel room until I leave."

"I never say no to time with you." Anna dropped to kneel on the floor with him. "We'd be all alone. With a Jacuzzi tub… and room service."

"That's right."

"Sounds horribly appealing Mr. Bates."

As Anna leaned forward to kiss him they heard Elsie's voice from the kitchen. "I do hope there aren't any shenanigans going on in there while I'm in the other room."

Anna laughed, resting her head on John's shoulder. "If she wasn't here…"

"Then we'd have more work to do." John kissed Anna's cheek, "It's all going to be alright. We'll eventually get ourselves all the time alone we need."

"You're not bothered by waiting until Valentine's Day?" Anna cringed and John shrugged.

"It's when we met. Might as well bring it all full circle." John helped Anna stand. "Still wish I wasn't going to that chocolate conference for Christmas."

"It's fine." Anna brushed a hand through John's hair, "We have New Year's and then we'll take it moment by moment after that."

* * *

Anna counted her shirts and shook her head, "Is five enough?"

"Why wouldn't five be enough? You can wear things twice you know?" Mary stood by Anna's closet and measured a dress, "Think this would fit?"

"You're too tall."

"Spoilsport." Mary hung the dress in the closet, "And it's not like there aren't shops in Sydney if you need something."

"I don't want to pay tourist prices at New Year's."

"Good point." Mary sat on the end of the bed before bouncing a moment. "I think Elsie needs to switch out this mattress."

"Elsie's thinking about selling the house so I don't think she cares." Anna threw another shirt into the suitcase, "Trust your father to send me to a conference in Sydney at New Year. John and I had plans."

"Well, life does that to us sometimes." Mary reached over to flip through the book on Anna's bedside table, "Like Tom leaving the lab and moving to Dublin."

Anna cringed, "Is Robert still upset?"

"He's resigned to it now."

"Really?"

"He stopped turning red and throwing things whenever we mentioned it. Maybe that means he's getting over it."

"I guess we all are." Anna pursed her lips, "I always feel like I forgot something."

"Anna, as I said before, you're going to Sydney, not the moon."

"But I might-"

"Zip it." Mary stood up and motioned zipping with her fingers. "Go watch telly with Elsie and I'll pack for you. You're worse than Edith."

"That's not nice."

"Then let me do it." Mary hustled Anna out of her room, "Go, shoo."

Anna stuck her tongue out at Mary and trotted down the stairs to join Elsie on the couch. Grabbing a pillow, Anna folded her legs under herself and hugged the pillow close. Elsie reached out a hand, without turning her head from the screen, and rubbed Anna's knee.

"Alright love?"

"Packing stresses me out."

"That's not all of it."

"Yes it is."

"Anna May Smith, I know the difference between you worrying over packing and you worrying over larger issues." Elsie muted the television and turned to Anna, "What is it? What's bothering you so much?"

"Do you think I should quit my job?"

"Where'd you get that idea?"

Anna threw up her hands, "This. Robert sending me to Oz for the New Year for some conference I don't even think I'm qualified to attend and making me miss New Year with John. We've been planning it for two months."

"Does he mind?"

"John handled it like he has everything else in this relationship, like it's his pleasure to bow to my every need."

Elsie shrugged, "Maybe it is."

"But what about me bowing to his needs?"

"Has he mentioned any?"

Anna paused, mulling it over. "Just me and he keeps saying he'll wait for me but that's not forever. No one could conceivably wait that long."

"A man like John doesn't seem like the type to keep you for almost two years and then just decide he's tired of it." Elsie turned back to her program, "If he wants you then he's determined to keep you and he'll do what's necessary to make that happen."

"And what about me? Shouldn't I be giving something back?"

"That's up to you dear. No one and nothing else, not even guilt for what you think you're putting John through, should change your mind. It needs to be your decision and no one else's."

Anna huddled into the couch, "That's too much pressure."

"It always is." Elsie unmuted the television, "If you want to quit your job then it needs to be your decision and not because I said something. I refuse to be the responsible party in the life of an adult."

Anna groaned, "But you'll make me be accountable."

"If you're old enough for sex then you're old enough to take responsibility for your actions."

"Elsie!"

"Don't be surprised. I'm not an idiot because I'm old. I know what you and John do when you take romantic weekends."

"That's not all we do."

"Did I say that was all?" Elsie raised an eyebrow and Anna sighed. "I'm old, not dead, which means you're not the only one who enjoys spending time with someone who also enjoys sex with you."

"Stop, stop, stop." Anna covered her ears, "I'd rather cut off my own ears than have you finish whatever you're about to say."

"Don't act like you're ignorant or a child when you're neither."

"I'm not either but I don't have to listen to the details of your sex life."

"Anna," Elsie turned off the television. "I'm not so flagrant in my own affections that I'd detail anything for you."

"Thank you."

"That being said, I'll tell you I'm planning on spending New Year with Charles."

Anna smiled, "That's fine."

"Good." Elsie giggled and Anna's eyes widened. "I'm rather looking forward to it. Been some time since I spent a holiday alone with a man."

"So you two are really serious?"

"We've been serious for some time Anna."

"Yeah but…" Anna flailed for something to say, "I guess I didn't think you were that serious. I thought you'd wait or something."

"At our age Anna we don't have time to waste."

Anna moved over the couch to hug Elsie. Elsie cuddled her close as Anna slotted her head between Elsie's chin and neck. "Just don't rush into it because you think time's passing you by. You've got plenty of time left."

"I know." Elsie kissed the top of Anna's head. "I've still got your wedding to attend and little grandbabies I hope to spoil rotten."

Anna squeezed Elsie on the couch, "Okay but not too soon on those grandbabies yeah?"

"Whatever you say dear."

* * *

Anna waited at the carousel for her bag and blew out an exasperated sigh. She grabbed her bag off the carousel, narrowly missing being brained by an overexcited surfer's board, and pulled the handle higher. Weaving and dodging those on holiday, Anna tried to keep her spirits up as she readied herself to brave the taxi queue.

Much to her surprise however, as Anna exited the doors, a man in a smart suit waited with a sign emblazoned with the words, 'Doctor Anna Smith'. Anna stopped, her jaw gaping like a fish as she walked toward the man. Tapping him on the arm Anna spoke.

"What Anna Smith are you looking for?"

"She's a researcher at Grantham Labs." The man stopped, looking her up and down before pulling his phone out. He flicked his thumb across the screen, comparing whatever he saw there with what was before him before smiling. "Looks like you're her."

"Are you picking me up for the conference?"

"Conference?" His brow knit together, "I don't know anything about a conference. I only know I'm supposed to collect a Doctor Anna Smith and take her to her hotel."

"You're sure?"

"Sure as the receipt I've got here." He wiggled his phone. "Let me take your bag."

He snagged her bags faster than she could anticipate and set off at a clip across the pavement. Anna jogged to catch up, working her bag over her shoulder. "Who hired you?"

"From the information I received through the company a Mrs. Crawley. Said something about it being a nice surprise." He held out his hand and popped the boot on the black car, "I'm Jimmy, by the way, and I'll be your driver."

"Mary hired you?"

"The credit card is linked to a Matthew Crawley but the reservation was made in the name of a Mrs. Crawley so if his name, or her name, is really Mary that's none of my business." Jimmy worked the bags into the boot, "This way."

"No, Mary's Matthew's wife."

"Then maybe but I wouldn't know." He opened the door and swept his hand toward the interior. "After you Doctor Smith."

Anna sighed and slid into the backseat. The door closed and soon Jimmy took the front seat. With the click of his buckle they joined traffic and he lowered the divider between them, speaking back at her.

"First time to Sydney?"

"Yes and no. My family's from here apparently."

"Really?"

"On my dad's side. Her family descends from a place called Snowy River."

"I've been there on holiday. Lovely spot really. Gorgeous to get up into those mountains." Jimmy honked at someone, "Though usually it's people here talking about how they're from England originally."

"How the world turns eh?"

"Yes ma'am."

Anna sat back, staring out the window, "Which hotel did you say?"

"I've got the address for the Four Seasons."

"The what?"

"The Four Seasons. I've never been but I hear-"

"No, I know what it is and I've always wanted to sty in one but my reservation's not for there. It's for a Marriott or something."

"This is the address I have ma'am." Jimmy passed his phone over his shoulder and Anna read through the trip details. "If there's a problem we'll sort it out there but I've got to take you to the destination to complete the trip."

Anna passed the phone back and waited until they arrived at the hotel. She opened the door before Jimmy had a chance and ran into Mary standing there, in a light blue dress. The other woman rolled her eyes.

"Finally, I was worried you'd be late."

"There was a plane delay. Late for what?"

"I'll tell you on the way," Mary grabbed her hand, speaking over her shoulder to Jimmy. "Have them take the bags to the Cerulean Suite."

"Suite? Mary what's going on?" Anna pulled her hand from Mary's grip. "What is this?"

"You're getting married Anna." Mary took Anna's hand. "And we haven't a moment to lose so please, cooperate."

"What?" Mary hustled Anna into a lift and hit the button. "Getting married to whom?"

"John, I thought, unless you somehow changed fiancés between now and the last time I saw you." Mary tapped her foot, pulling her phone out to check the time. "I knew it was a mistake not to tell you."

"Who else knows?"

"I'll let someone else answer that question. Thank goodness." The doors opened and Mary pushed Anna out, dragging her down the hall to knock on a door.

It flew open and Anna dropped her jaw to see Elsie standing there with three pins in her mouth. "You said you were spending New Years with Charles."

"And we are, here." Elsie waved them into the room. "After we help you get married that is."

"Why is this happening like this?"

"Because John wanted it to be special and he knew you wouldn't want anything extravagant." Mary took Anna's bag from her shoulder and pulled at Anna's jacket but Anna stepped away. "We really don't have time for this."

"I'm not doing anything until I speak to John."

"Bad luck to see the groom before the wedding."

"I don't bloody well care what you think is bad luck, Mary. I'm going to speak to my fiancé before anything else happens here."

Anna waited as Elsie shrugged at Mary. Mary sighed, pulling her phone from her pocket, and dialed. A moment later she held it out to Anna.

Snatching it from Mary's hand, Anna brought it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"I assume Mary calling me isn't to tell me you're overly excited about this."

"Not really John." Anna walked to the balcony, closing the door to prevent Mary and Elsie hearing the conversation. "What is this?"

"I thought of it as a surprise."

"A surprise wedding, John?" Anna leaned forward on the balcony, covering her forehead with a hand, "Were you afraid I'd never set a date?"

"Never."

"Then why?"

"Because I wanted to marry you in February but I'll be at a conference on Valentine's Day and I thought we could celebrate the New Year together instead." Anna heard his sigh on the other end of the phone. "If you want, we can cancel the whole thing and wait."

"I don't want to wait I just want to know why you'd fake a conference to fly me to Sydney and marry me here when you could've married me in England."

"Because I wanted it to be a romantic surprise. We'd be married before the fireworks celebrate the New Year and then we'd celebrate together. You mentioned that you always wanted to travel to Sydney and I thought, why not get married there?"

"You did all this for me?"

"I'd do anything for you Anna."

Anna gathered her breath, "I don't feel prepared at all for this. I don't have a dress or anything."

"I've got that covered, I promise."

"You're sure?"

"If I didn't think of it then Mary did."

Anna laughed, "She would."

"Just…" Anna paused, waiting for John to finish. "Just promise me that you're not going along with this because you feel guilty."

"John," Anna laughed a little, "If this is what I can do for you, to make you as happy as you make me, I'd marry you in a dingy on the Thames."

"Now I wish I hadn't wasted a few favors on this trip."

They laughed together a minute before Anna put a serious edge to her voice, "But, John, never again."

"I only plan on marrying you once."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. I promise, no more surprises where I've hijacked you for a secret wedding."

"Or anything similar."

"Or anything similar." John agreed, "I'll be waiting."

"I love you."

"I love you Anna."

Anna hung up the phone and came back into the room. Placing the phone in Mary's hand she held her arms open. "He said he took care of the dress."

"Technically I did." Elsie opened the closet and Anna covered her mouth with both hands. "I hope you like the dress Anna."

"How'd you know?"

"I was there when you stared up in that shop window, aged seventeen, and said 'only princesses could get married in a dress like that'." Elsie pulled the dress off the hanger, "I thought that if you're going to live in a castle in France with your prince then you deserve a dress fit for a princess."

Anna hugged Elsie close, crying into her shoulder. Elsie rubbed her hand down Anna's back, "It's alright dear."

"I know," Anna backed up, wiping at her eyes. "I'm just so happy I can't express it."

"If you can't, don't." Mary tapped her watch, tugging at Anna's coat, "We're a little strapped for time."

Anna succumbed to Mary and Elsie's tag-team approach to getting her ready. Elsie made last minute adjustments to the dress as Mary did Anna's hair and makeup so that, within an hour, they crammed into a lift. On the ground floor Jimmy waited for them, jumping out of his seat to lead them to his car.

They drove the distance between the hotel and a small church in minutes with Jimmy helping make sure Anna's dress did not touch the ground. They crowded into the foyer of the small church where Charles waited for them. He kissed Elsie quickly on the cheek before handing over the flowers. Mary arranged Anna's in her hand before taking her own and weaving her arm through Charles's.

The doors opened and Mary walked through them with Charles to the traditional wedding march. Elsie took Anna's arm, patting her hand, and guided them down the aisle. Stealing looks about, Anna smiled at Tom and Sybil sitting near Talbot and a lovely red-headed woman. Robert and his wife sat near the front with Matthew while Phyllis and Moseley took the other side of the church.

For all the sparseness of the crowd, Anna would have it no other way. She allowed her eyes to wander forward and beamed at the man waiting there. With Charles now at his side, John looked absolutely resplendent in a navy suit with his cane held firmly in his grip.

Anna joined him at the front, giving Elsie her flowers as the pastor began the service. His words were vague and foggy, lost as all of Anna's attentions focus on John's face. When she felt the ring slide over her finger, joining the first plain band, Anna tingled in time with the press of John's lips to the area. Mary slipped a ring into Anna's hand and she maneuvered it onto John's finger, echoing his actions.

When the man pronounced them 'man and wife' it was all Anna could do not to throw off her veil and immediately attack the man before her. But she maintained their composure. Even when they all escaped to a restaurant afterward for dinner, Anna held herself back.

Perhaps too much so for when John finally led Anna to the suite he booked she felt herself drooping. A mixture of the day's anticipation and excitement blended horribly with the time difference and jet lag to leave Anna dragging. John helped her out of the dress but pressed no further once he registered her expression.

"I'm sorry." Anna rested her head on his shoulder, fully changed into an old shirt and dragging sweatpants. "I'm sure you had plans for tonight."

"None that won't wait until tomorrow." John kissed her, "Though I have one I'd like to do now, if you don't mind."

"What?"

"Come here." John led Anna to the balcony and pulled his phone from his pocket. He fiddled with the screen a moment before replacing it in his coat. The muffled music surrounded them as John rested his cane on the railing. He took Anna's hands and smiled, "I'd like to dance with the bride."

"John." Anna kissed him, releasing only to rest her head on his shoulder.

They swayed back and forth a moment before John spoke. "I know you wanted to wait until you could live with me but you can't leave your job yet and I couldn't wait any longer."

"I know." Anna sighed, "I wish I could just leave it but-"

"Anna," John chided gently, "What you do is a part of who you are and I've no problem with that. We'll make this work like we did before but now we're bound to one another. It just means we'll love one another more than we did before and it'll be all the more beautiful for it."

Anna turned up at him, "You're sure?"

"There's nothing I'm willing to wait for more than I'd wait for you. However, wherever, and whenever that requires."

"Thank you." Anna kissed him again, "Though I think you'll have to test that out earlier than later since I feel like I might just fall over."

"Then isn't it a good thing I won't let you fall?"

"A very good thing."

They walked back to the large bed and Anna crawled onto it. John took a moment changing clothes, before he joined her. Anna dragged his arm around her as John's chest rested against her back.

"Goodnight Mrs. Bates." John whispered in her ear and Anna smiled.

"Goodnight Mr. Bates."


	17. New Worlds

Anna played with her rings as she turned the page of the medical journals. Her fingers slipped over the two pieces of metal to clink against one another as her elbow propped on the window of the train. Someone cleared their throat and Anna shook herself to see a smiling older woman.

She pointed at Anna's rings, "How long've you been married?"

"Month and a half."

"Still in the honeymoon stage then?"

"I suspect we'll be there for awhile." Anna closed the journal, "We've already been at that stage for a long time."

"Really? How long?"

"Two years." Anna admired her rings, "I'm actually going to celebrate our anniversary."

The woman frowned, "I thought you said you'd only been married a month."

"We have. It's the anniversary of when we met two years ago."

"Oh, that much be nice. My husband and I are meeting in Paris to celebrate our fiftieth."

"Congratulations." Anna turned up as the intercom buzzed they were closing in on their destination. "Enjoy Paris."

Anna gathered her things and made her way through the station to the queue outside. She smiled when she noticed a gangly ginger man holding a sign with her name on it. Stopping in front of him Anna waved, "That's me."

"You're Mrs. Bates?"

"Yes I am."

"I'm Alfred." He thrust his hand forward with more gusto than Anna thought he intended but she avoided his reach and shook his hand.

"Glad to finally meet you. In all my visits I don't think I've ever run into you. Heard about you, but never met you."

"I think I said 'hello' at the Christmas party last year but it was so quick I can understand. I usually work nights."

"Do you like it?"

"Honestly I'm training with Mrs. Patmore to be Mr. Bates travel chef when he goes on trips." Alfred smiled then hurried to collect himself and grab Anna's bags, "But today I'm filling in for Andy since he's taken holiday in Cyprus."

"Cyprus? Why Cyprus?"

"He wanted some warmer weather for awhile."

"Going to be difficult when he gets back to this biting cold."

"Especially since there's supposed to be a snowstorm end of the month." Alfred opened the door, "All in Mrs. Bates."

Anna climbed into the back of the car and chatted with Alfred as they made their way through Paris toward John's home. Or, as Anna smiled the thought to herself, _our_ home. Alfred's voice brought Anna from her reverie and before long the distance melted to nothing and the car trundled up the familiar path to the garage.

As Alfred opened the back door Anna narrowed her eyes, pointing toward the distance, "Alfred, what's that?"

"It's our new building." Alfred frowned, "Did Mr. Bates not tell you?"

"No," Anna shook her head, studying the building connected to the main house by a covered walkway. "He didn't say anything about this."

"Maybe he plans to surprise you with it today."

"He's at a conference until tomorrow."

"No, he finished a day early. I picked him up from the airport this morning." Alfred got Anna's bags out of the car. "He should be inside the house."

"Actually," Anna hugged Phyllis as she descended on them, "He's waiting for you. Wants to give you a surprise."

"A surprise?" Anna sighed, "I told him no more of those."

"This isn't like whisking you away to Australia for a wedding, I promise." Phyllis opened the connecting door for the walkway and Anna followed her. "This is something you'll enjoy."

"I enjoyed the last one. I just didn't want it to come that way."

They reached the door to the new building on the property and Phyllis knocked. Waiting a minute they were rewarded when John answered, closing the door behind him before Anna could get a view inside. He smiled at Phyllis.

"Could you tell Mrs. Patmore we'll do dinner at eight?"

"Sure thing Mr. Bates." Phyllis nodded to Anna, "Always a pleasure to have you back here Mrs. Bates."

Anna paused, lowering her voice to address John, "What's this they keep saying about a surprise?"

"I know." John held up his hands, "I already started on it before I promised at our wedding because you mentioned it awhile back."

"And you didn't tell me you went and built… whatever this is, on your property?"

"It'd ruin the anniversary surprise. It was supposed to be a wedding present but we got married earlier than I planned with the builders." John stepped to the side and pointed to the keypad by the door, "You'll have to pick the door code."

"Why?"

"Because this is yours." John tapped it, "Six numbers."

Anna studied the pad a moment and then typed the six numbers. The pad beeped twice, a little light blinking red and then green as it buzzed. John opened and shut the door, waiting for the light to turn red and gestured to the keypad. Anna typed the numbers again and the door opened.

John pulled the door and waved his hand inside, "After you Doctor Smith."

Anna entered the room and stopped in the doorway. She barely noted the door closing behind her as she surveyed the sight before her. Matched, almost down to the positioning of the electric outlets, was her lab at Grantham. She wound through the tabletops, noting the sinks and fridges, the microscopes and machines, and the large projection screen.

Turning back to John, Anna held her hands open. "This must've cost a fortune."

"Not exactly." John pointed to a few of the items, "I got those from a liquidators and Grantham Labs refit a lab on the same floor as yours so they gave me some of their older equipment. Some of the others things I purchased from a university building a new lab on their campus so I admit, it's not all top of the line but it's the quality you need for the moment."

"But why?"

"Well, you said that one of the things that kept us apart was your work. I thought that if we could bring your work here then it wouldn't have to. Robert agreed, said it'd be a great way to keep his investor better informed, and helped me not only set up the lab but also link the whole building to Grantham Labs." John used his cane to point to the screen, "That's for video chat or Skype or whatever as a direct line to your lab in London when you need it."

Anna walked back to John, took his face in her hands, and kissed him soundly. John gave over to it, letting Anna lead until she finally pulled back. Staring in his eyes, Anna smiled at him.

"You're the best man, bar none, I've ever met."

"I should hope so since you married me."

"That I did." Anna ran a hand through his hair and scanned the lab a moment. "No one can come in without the code right?"

"That's right."

"So, if I wanted to have my way with you here, no one would interrupt us?"

John's eyes widened in time with his mischievous grin, "What a scandalous suggestion Doctor."

"Not right now." Anna flicked the few buttons at John's collar open, "Because right now I'm not Doctor Smith. I'm Mrs. Bates and Mrs. Bates wants to have wild sex with her husband on this tabletop."

"If you insist." John rested his cane on the back of a rolling chair and propped his hands on either side of Anna. "This is your lab so whatever you want to do in here is up to you."

"Is that how it is?" Anna nodded, fully opening John's shirt and pushing it back so she could rub her hands over his chest. "Then I'd best give you the passcode so I can do this more often."

"What is it?"

"Two, two, two," Anna dropped John's shirt to the floor, her own joining it a moment later. "Eight, three, seven."

"Two, two, two," John drew the zipper on Anna's trousers down, his hands sliding over her thighs under the material, "Eight, three, seven?"

"That's right." Anna worked John's trousers open and stroked her hand over the tented fabric there while kicking off her shoes to shake her trousers loose. "You've already got it."

"What if I forget?" John lifted Anna to the tabletop before dropping his trousers and drawers to pad barefoot between her spread legs. "How do I remember?"

"You mean what's the story behind those numbers?" Anna played her fingers into John's hair as he unclasped her bra and slid it down her arms to dance his fingers unimpeded over her breasts.

"It'll help me remember."

"Well I wouldn't want you to forget," Anna dropped the bra and lifted her hips so John could pull her knickers down her legs before tripping his touch to her folds. "So I'll tell you, they're actually letters. If you can spell you can remember."

"I can spell." John lowered his head, licking a stripe up one of Anna's breasts, "Just tell me what it is."

"A," Anna tightened her hold as John traced the letter over her center. "B."

"It's not the ABCs is it?" John kissed up her neck while one of his fingers slipped inside to write the second letter there. "That'd be a bit boring."

"No," Anna managed, "It's not the ABCs. Next letter is A."

"Another A," John kissed his way back down to her other breast. "What next?"

"T, E, S." With each letter John either traced it along Anna's quivering inner muscles or licked it with his tongue over her breasts.

With his hand still working at Anna's center John pulled back, "A-B-A-T-E-S?"

"Yes." Anna rocked her hips against his hand and whined when John stopped, "Please keep going."

"Your passcode is 'A. Bates'?"

"Yes."

John took hold of Anna's mouth, surging his tongue against hers as his fingers drove Anna to the edge. He kept her there, changing his strokes and flicks in time with the nips he gave at the edges of her lips. Anna clawed over his shoulders, her body writhing on the tabletop as she tried to send herself over the edge but could not, and eventually keened into his kiss as a plea.

A final push of his fingers and Anna broke in John's hands. She pulled from the kiss to drag air into her lungs as her body bucked in the aftershocks of his ministrations. But John simply directed his energy to loving her neck while he dragged her body to the edge of the counter.

He entered her in a rush, driving as deeply as he could in a moment before pulling back to the edge. Anna wrapped a leg around his hip but with John's hands at her waist it was all she could do to respond to the piston of his hips. Every nerve inside her was on fire and her moans reached higher when he tilted her to a new angle and hit the spot inside her that sent all of her synapses exploding simultaneously.

Between the determined and practiced work of his fingers at her core and the angle of penetration, Anna screamed her release. If not for John's arm at her lower back she might have fallen back onto the bench. But he held her steady and continued forward. Every strike spiraled Anna in the aftermath until she heard John's voice call out her name in sweet release.

John's head rested on Anna's chest, his hot breath fluttering over her stomach. They stayed there a moment before John pushed back. He raised a hand, brushing over her face before kissing her sweetly.

When he pulled back his voice was soft, "Why'd you choose 'A. Bates'?"

"Because that's who I am." Anna massaged the back of his scalp. "And if this is my lab then it's going to represent who I am here. I'm not 'Doctor Smith' and I'm not 'Anna Smith', I'm Anna Bates and that's who I'll always be."

"Well then, Mrs. Bates," John looked around them, "Now that you've sufficiently had your way with me, are you hungry?"

"Famished." Anna smiled, "But I'm worried."

"About what?"

"About the fact that you think that was me sufficiently having my way with you." Anna clicked her tongue against her teeth, "I'm far from satisfied in that regard Mr. Bates and I plan to take every moment of this anniversary to show you what satisfied means."

John beamed, "I look forward to it."

* * *

Anna pulled in front of Elsie's house, answering her phone. "Hello Mary."

"Am I still coming to pick you up for drinks?"

"Yes. I'll be ready in twenty minutes. Fifteen, actually," Anna held the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she wrestled her bag out of the car. "What are we drinking to again?"

"To finding Tom's replacement, Talbot's new girlfriend… Swine… Shire… whatshername, and you working at our satellite office in Champagne."

"Is that what we're calling it now? A satellite office?"

"Why not?"

'Because it's my office and I'm not inviting anyone to it." Anna unlocked the door and dropped her bag on the couch just inside the sitting room before closing the door behind her. "And her name's Swire. Lavina Swire."

"That's right. Her. Smart girl, seems excessively nice, and probably has some kind of animal hidden under that put-together exterior if we get a few fireballs in her."

"That's really what we're doing? Getting her drunk to unleash her inner animal?" Anna laughed and then narrowed her eyes as she heard something from the kitchen. "Remember how that worked at Uni?"

"Very clearly. I also remember it got me an A in that Shakespeare class."

"Still think you didn't deserve it."

"I worked hard for that grade."

"All night if I remember right." Anna closed the kitchen window. "Odd."

"Not really. And it was only the once."

"No, not that." Anna paused, "Elsie must've left the window open when she left this morning."

"Didn't it rain today?"

"Yeah, that's what's odd." Anna looked around, "There's no water on the floor. Maybe the wind blew it away from the house and we got lucky."

"No one gets that lucky."

"Our Shakespeare professor did."

"That wasn't luck," Mary warned, "That was skill."

"Whatever Mary." Anna turned to leave the kitchen when something struck her phone from her hand.

It happened so quickly. Something tugged at her hair, pulling her bun loose and tearing hair from her scalp. She fought back but a strong slap to her face sent her flailing. Her head struck the edge of the counter and the world swam before her. Anna tried to claw toward the sound of Mary's voice, calling out to her in the fog and haze of her distorted vision.

But soon all Anna sensed was pain. Pain aching from her head to her toes. Her limbs were lead, responding to her frazzled brain's commands with the speed of a sloth. Shrieks and cries, almost foreign to her ears, echoed in the kitchen and it took what felt like an eternity to discern they were her sounds. The noises of the agonized were hers.

Shouts and muffled blows striking flesh joined the cacophony in the kitchen but Anna was immobile. Her eyes blinked but it all felt like someone moved for her. Nothing felt like hers and even the sound of someone calling her name gave her the feeling they were talking to someone else. Her body was no longer her own just as her life was no longer her own.

Lights flashed before her eyes, voices mixed and settled, temperatures soared before bottoming out to leave her alternating between freezing and sweating, and finally the world calmed to black. There Anna breathed easily, floating somewhere beyond all the insanity. There she came to herself and emerged toward the light.

Anna blinked her eyes open and tried to move. Her body immediately strained and she grunted. The sound drew someone to her side and Anna flinched away at the fast movement before she registered Elsie standing there.

"Anna, are you alright?"

"What happened?" Anna took stock of herself in the hospital bed, leads and wires connecting her to machines beeping with annoying regularity. "What am I doing here?"

"What do you remember?"

"I was on the phone with Mary. We were going for drinks and she was picking me up. The window in the kitchen was open and I'd just turned to leave after shutting it when-" Anna saw the figure in front of her and her breath caught. "He was standing there and he had something and then he-"

"Anna, Anna," Elsie grabbed her shoulders as the machine beeped rapidly to match Anna's accelerated heart rate. "You're safe here. There's no one but me. He's gone. They've got him and he's gone."

"Elsie it was Green. He was there and he-" Anna ignored the complaints of her body to throw back the blankets and tug at the bottom of her medical gown. "What did he do Elsie?"

"The doctors are saying he raped you Anna." Elsie stopped her hands, forcing Anna to stare at her. "Mary heard the altercation over the phone and she and Matthew raced over. Matthew caught him trying to get out of the back garden and Mary stayed with you until the ambulance came. She stopped you slipping into a coma Anna."

"Then Green… he…"

"The police have him in custody. With all the evidence and testimony against him he's not going anywhere but a cell for a very long time." Elsie rubbed a hand at Anna's shoulder. "You're safe now Anna."

"Anna?" Both turned to see John at the door, breathing hard. "Mary called and I rushed here as fast as I could."

"John," Anna cried and before she knew it he wrapped her in his arms.

"Anna I'm so glad you're alright."

"I'm not alright John." Anna felt her heart shatter, "I'm not alright."


	18. Tales Older than Time

Anna woke up screaming. Her arms flailed around the bed and she hit something hard. When her mind finally came back to her Anna realized she struck John.

"John," Her hand trembled as she touched his arm, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright Anna." He soothed, putting a hand out but she flinched away. "It's just me."

Anna regained her breath and crawled toward him, the tears running down her face. John pulled her to him, wrapping her safely in his embrace. She sobbed into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry John."

"Sorry?" John pulled back. "What are you sorry about?"

"This is all my fault. I should've paid more attention and I-"

"Anna," John ran a hand down the side of her face, "None of this is your fault."

"I was back from our anniversary one day John." Anna pushed back, pulling her legs to her chest. "One day and he… he…"

"Anna, none of this is your fault." John opened his arms to her again, "Please come here Anna?"

Anna sniffed and then maneuvered back toward John. He leaned back against the headboard, holding her to his chest, and stroked a hand through her hair. The rise and fall of his chest slowed her thundering heart until all that existed was them in the quiet room.

"What was it about Anna?"

Anna adjusted in his hold, tracing her finger over the stripped pattern of his pajamas. "I saw Green, attacking me, but then his face changed and it was my stepfather."

"I noticed you talking in French in your sleep."

"But then the faces wouldn't settle and it was one then the other over and over and I couldn't escape and I-"

"Okay, okay," John soothed, bringing Anna back from the point of anxiety in her voice. "It's alright. I shouldn't have asked, I'm sorry."

"No," Anna shook her head against John's chest, "I need to tell someone."

"I'm glad it's me." They sat in the quiet for a few more minutes before John spoke again. "Are you sure you want to go back to work in the morning?"

"It's just a walk to the lab."

"I know but Robert mentioned that you could take as much time as you needed."

Anna lifted herself, "Do you think I shouldn't?"

"I think you should do whatever you think will help." John shrugged, "If you think going back to work'll help then that's what you should do."

"You think it won't?"

"I don't know." John shifted to sit up better. "I think you going to the trial won't do you any good."

"Why not?"

"Because they've got all the evidence they need without your testimony and I don't know what it'll do to you."

"Don't you think I'm strong enough for this?"

"I think you're strong enough for anything but I don't know if you need to be." John rested a hand on Anna's shoulder and she flinched but did not shrug it off. "No matter what, I'm always here for you."

Anna faced John, her eyes welling with tears, "How can you be when I'm so full of shame?"

"Shame? Why are you talking about shame?"

"Because," Anna's voice caught in her throat, "I'm spoiled for you and I'll never be unspoiled."

"You're not spoiled," John cupped Anna's face in his hands. "You're made holier and higher to me because of the suffering you've been put through and overcome. It makes you stronger and makes you who you are."

"Really?"

"Really." John scooted closer to Anna, "But you don't have to be as strong anymore. I'm here to help you if you'll let me."

"John," Anna grabbed his hand, "It's not about being strong."

"Then what is it?"

Anna swallowed, "You remember how, the other day, I went to the doctor? For the checkup."

"You told me they said it was all healing nicely after three months."

"That wasn't all they told me." Anna strangled a sheet in the grip of her other hand. "They told me I'm pregnant."

"Really?" John brightened, "That's great."

"John…" Anna gathered her breath, "I don't know whose baby it is."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never been regular and given how soon it happened after our anniversary it's possible that its ours but it could also…"

"It could be Green's?" Anna nodded and studied John's face.

"Please say something John."

"Anna," John unlatched her fingers from the sheets and held them in his. Kissing both hands before looking at her John spoke, "It's your decision. If we go to the doctor and find out that the baby is ours I'll be overjoyed."

"And if it's Green's?"

"Then I'll still be overjoyed."

"What?"

"Any child that has even a sliver of you in it will mean the world to me." John stroked a thumb over her cheek. "But it's your decision. If you don't want it then I'll support you as much as if you do."

"Even if it's not yours?"

"Being the father of a child is about more than biology Anna. This baby," John put forward a hand toward Anna's stomach but did not touch her. "Will be as much mine as any that shares my physical blood."

"Truly?"

"Truly."

Anna pulled John's hand toward her abdomen and held it there. "Alright."

* * *

Anna tightened her grip on John's hand as the technician squeezed some of the cold gel onto her stomach. She shivered and John rubbed his hand over her shoulder. He smiled at her, kissing over her knuckles.

"It'll be alright."

"Dad's right," The technician nodded at John bringing the sensor over the gel to get a reading. "Nothing to worry about while we look for baby."

"Did Doctor Clarkson finish those tests?"

"He's waiting for them at the lab." The technician narrowed her eyes at the screen, "He'll be up with them as soon as he can."

"Okay." Anna settled back, evening her breathing.

"Baby likes to hide." The technician shifted the sensor, "And there they are."

Anna and John leaned forward as the technician adjusted the screen for them to see. John reached out a hand and touched the screen, running his finger along the outline of the baby there. Anna saw the tears at the edges of his eyes.

"I don't want to say for sure but I think you've got a little boy on your hands." The technician hit a few buttons and Anna turned to the sound of printing.

"Everything looking healthy?" All heads shifted to focus on the Doctor entering the room.

"Shipshape and Bristol fashion Doctor." The technician passed over pictures of the ultrasound. "For the parents. First look at he future Bates yeah?"

"Yeah." John held the picture close while Anna started at the technician wiping the ultrasound gel off.

"I have the results of the test, if you want them." Doctor Clarkson held the paper forward. "I can, with ninety-eight percent accuracy, say that Mr. Bates here is the father of Baby Bates."

Anna could not stop the tears that immediately burst from her eyes. She buried her head in the crook between John's chin and his shoulder. He held her close, whispering to her.

"It's alright. It's alright."

"We're going to have a son John."

"I know."


	19. Evil is Made

Anna adjusted the microscope and stopped when she felt a kick below her rib. She moved her hand there, feeling the boy shift inside her. The door to the lab opened and Anna waved John over with her free hand. He frowned and walked over, taking the chair in front of her as Anna seized his free hand.

Putting his hand on her stomach she held her breath, hoping he would kick again. John stayed silent, waiting for Anna to explain, but his face lit up when their baby kicked again. They squealed together until the baby stopped kicking.

"He's been moving more lately but that's his first kick." Anna held John's hand a moment longer before giving it back.

"I'm glad." John tapped his fingers together, "They said you might not feel him until six months."

"I know." Anna rubbed over her abdomen before putting a hand to John's face. "I'm sorry I've been so distant with you these past four months."

"You've been healing Anna," John covered her hand with his. "I'm here for you, however you need me."

"I need you now John." Anna leaned forward, her lips just millimeters from his. "I'm ready for it now."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure John. Please love me like you used to."

"Not here." John helped Anna stand, grabbing his cane as he looped her hand in his arm. "Not like last time."

"What, not up for the lab bench?"

"Not with our boy bouncing around under your ribs." John opened the door and pulled Anna close. "Besides, your lab is a little warm."

"I think I'll have to have someone come in and check the seals." Anna risked a glance back at her lab, "It's not hermetic and given where our research is taking us we want some seals."

"What'd Mary say about the second round of trials?"

"She's been hesitant to give me anything but what I wrung out of Talbot is they're finding the results of the first tests reflected again. No improvements but the side effects aren't any worse." Anna rested her head on John's shoulder, "I guess they want to move into approvals for England, the EU, and even the U.S. if we can make a good deal with a distributor."

"That's amazing. Robert must be over the moon about it all."

"Mary's a little more hesitant." Anna shrugged, "I guess it's good to have a cynic on the team to keep us all humble and wary."

"I'll never have a single word to say against Mary Crawley as long as I live." John sobered and they stopped just outside the house. "Anna, I hope you know that I love you no matter what."

"I do." Anna interlaced their fingers, "And I want to show you how much I love you."

She pulled him through their home. Passed the walls covered in the memorabilia that only scratched the surface of rich cultures in countries filled with people thousands of miles away. Passed the employees of the house who cared for it like they would their own and loved the family that lived there like they were their own. Passed the bedroom where Anna stayed as a guest for the first time but now held the crib and the sunny walls for their son. Passed the library where they spent evenings, and lazy Saturday mornings, and curled up together on the couch as Anna let John move closer and closer to her.

They stopped outside the door to their room. The room where, for too long, they only slept side-by-side instead of wrapped in one another. The room where, like the couch in the library, Anna slowly allowed John to shift closer until she could fall asleep in his arms again. The room where they could start their life anew.

Anna closed the door and faced John. Her boldness in the lab, in her domain, faded slightly. Here they were equals and here she spent so many nights in tears while John held her close. Here she face nightmares until John pulled her back from the abyss. Here… he never left her side.

John paused, waiting for Anna to move because he would never rush her, never force her, never do anything but love her. This was a man who loved while expecting nothing in return… but she desperately wanted to give him something in return. Give him her love again. Resolved on that point, Anna met his eyes, put her hands on his neck, and pulled him into a kiss.

Not a simple kiss like those they shared before bed these days. Not a gentle kiss like those he snuck onto her cheeks or forehead when he helped her soak in the tub or gave her tea in the lab or right before she woke in the morning. Not the teasing kisses she snuck when he could do nothing to respond. This was a kiss that had their breaths quickening, their hearts pounding, and their tongues tangling.

John's hands wrapped around her waist as Anna tried to mold her changing body to his form. One of his hands shifted over her shirt to feel her abdomen. Anna moaned into the motion, pushing John back toward the bed. He stumbled slightly and they froze but a moment later they giggled in unison before retuning to their kiss.

Anna sighed at the gentleness of John's hands sliding her shirt higher. The rasp of his fingers over her skin left her burning in a way she had not in sometime. He lost none of his finesse as he eased the shirt over her head, dropping it to the floor. Her trousers, larger than she wanted to admit when she bought them, bunched around her knees before John turned them to sit her on the bed.

Breaking their kiss, John stepped back to pull the trousers off her legs before sliding his hands up her legs. Anna seized control of his mouth, whimpering into their kiss while her fingers struggled to find and undo the buttons on John's shirt. When she did manage to push it off his shoulders her fingers distracted themselves in the hair on his chest.

John moaned, moving his attentions to Anna's neck to tug his shirt off his wrists. The fluttering thump of the shirt distracted Anna with enough time for John to play his fingers by Anna's knickers. They stared at one another, slowing down for the first time, and Anna put her hands over John's. Placing them on her hips she shifted and John took the invitation to pull her knickers down.

His gentle nudge pushed Anna's legs apart, allowing him to scoot forward over the carpet on his knees. His eyes never left hers as he ran his hands over her legs. Anna shivered and John paused for a moment, watching for her reaction. When she nodded he continued forward to kiss her.

It was sweet. Not like their first kisses that were all fire and passion. This was the slow, lazy drive of two people with all the time in the world. He tugged at her lips just enough to bring Anna's hands to the back of his head.

Holding firmly there, with a grip she had not used in some time, Anna anchored herself as John's gentle glide unclasped her bra. With a sound almost like an intruder, it sprang free. Slowly, more slowly than Anna thought she wanted, John followed the motion of the straps and fabric down her arms. The tiny hairs there stood on end, the excitement pimpling her flesh despite the heat of the June day and the trapped air in the room.

John's mouth left hers to run his attentions to her neck and shoulders, hands committing the details of her form to memory again. Her back arched when he reached her breasts. The sensitivity of pregnancy made each tug of his teeth or lave of his tongue send signals straight to Anna's core.

It had been so long since she felt such loving adoration that she gave over to it, and the sounds it enticed from her. Sounds she thought she might never make again. Sounds that spurred John's fingers to wrap over her hips like so many warm towels after scalding showers or bathtub soaks. The same fingers that used her spread legs to tease at her folds.

Anna gasped at the first touch and dug her nails into John's shoulders. His tender tip of her body, leaving her laying perpendicular on the bed, left his lips free to run over the swell of her stomach. The swell he touched and caressed when he thought she was sleeping. The swell he spoke to, read to, and sang to when he washed her in the bath. The swell he now murmured sweet phrases to before moving lower.

The first hot whispers against her sopping center had Anna writhing against their bed. When his fingers moved from teasing to tantalizing her from the inside Anna shrieked. And when his tongue joined the efforts of his skilled hands, kissing and sucking at her, Anna was sure she left her body. Sensations flooded her delicate nerves, leaving her to incoherently manage John's name.

When the colors exploded in front of her eyes, Anna gave over to them, fading into the moment of bliss. Blinking at the sweet sound calling to her, Anna tipped her head down. John rubbed his hands over her abdomen, fingers still stroking her from the inside, and kissed his way back up her body.

Their lips met and Anna tasted herself as if tasting a fond memory. John ran his tongue around her mouth, giving her as much as she wanted before pulling her back. He shucked his trousers and joined her on the bed.

"John," Anna put a hand to his chest and tried to find the right words to ease the fear she saw in his eyes. "We need a different position."

"I've got one in mind." John motioned for Anna to go on her side, slotting himself in front of her and bringing her leg over her hip. "Is this alright?"

"Yes," Anna grinned and ground against him as much as their position would allow.

John groaned, resting his head on Anna's shoulder. "I may not take long Anna."

"That's alright. I already came."

John's nostrils flared at that and surged into her. Anna shut her eyes, feeling the familiar and satisfying weight of John inside her. They waited there, bringing back their memories of every time they met this way.

Anna snuck a hand over John's back, tickling him with her fingers, and kneaded the flesh of his ass. John plunged forward again, driving the air from Anna's lungs. His rhythm grappled with his control but sent Anna soaring again.

"It's been too long John." She managed, kissing close to his earlobe.

John put his hand between them, furiously tweaking and nipping at her center again, and Anna rutted her hips against him to chase her pleasure for the second time. Just when the peak crested John called out her name, nipping at her shoulder while his body finished its spasm of release.

They lay, tangled together, until Anna felt their boy kick. John laughed, running his hand over Anna's abdomen before bending to kiss it again. As he slipped out John settled to better face Anna.

"You're right." Anna frowned and John explained, "About it being too long."

"I shouldn't have denied you that John."

"It's not a denial." John reached forward, running his fingers in Anna's hair. "You needed to heal."

"But I left you wanting."

"Anna," John grabbed her hand and kissed over it. "Before I met you I hadn't had sex for five years. For as much as I love you, and wish that I could love you until they send search teams after us, I'm more than capable of controlling myself."

"Still."

"Still I'll wait." John ran his thumb along her cheekbone. "You matter more to me than anything Anna and that means if I can give it to you I will."

"You're too good to me."

"You're too good to me." John slipped his arm over Anna's waist. "This is on your terms and I'll take those any day."

"What about your terms?"

"They're simple." John kissed at Anna's cheek, "It's to make you happy, and love you, and raise our child with you for as long as we both shall live."

Anna snuggled close to John, "As long as we both shall live."

* * *

Anna massaged her stomach and the bridge of her nose at the same time. "Look, Robert, the testing came back and they don't like one chemical we're using?"

"They say the optics of it in America are bad."

"Then use the generic version."

"That is the generic version."

"So they'll pass on a drug that could cut their costs in half just because they don't like what the five percent of informed people think?" Anna threw her hands up to the air, "Why did we even bother trying to make ourselves available in the States?"

"Money."

"Isn't it always that?" Anna paused, "Robert I'll have to call you back."

"Alright. Just keep me posted on whether or not their's a substitute."

"And completely reformulate? I don't think so." Anna ended the conference call and eased herself off the stool.

Crossing the lab slower than she liked, Anna opened the door to leave and shivered slightly in the chill air. Phyllis walked toward her, waving as she headed toward the garage. Anna paused, grinding a hand into the small of her back to ease the dull throb there.

"How are you today Mrs. Bates?"

"Sore. Baby here doesn't want me to sleep and only finds a comfortable position if I'm upright in a chair. And now I waddle like a penguin because he's settled low." Anna shivered again, "I didn't think it'd be this cold in October."

"It's the early winds. In a week we'll get a sweltering heat wave before it all frosts over in time for Guy Fawkes Day." Phyllis paused, "We're you expecting guests this evening?"

"No, why?"

"When I was finished in the dining room I saw a car driving up the lane. I thought perhaps it was someone you invited since Mr. Bates invited them to the library." Phyllis shrugged, "Could it be a relative?"

"What makes you say that?"

"She had a very distinct Irish accent. Sounded rather lovely actually."

"Phyllis could you please call the police."

Phyllis paled, "Is something wrong?"

"I sincerely hope not but I get the feeling this isn't one of Mr. Bates's relatives from Ireland." Anna set off toward the house, ignoring Phyllis calling after her.

The ascent up the stairs was herculean, leaving Anna puffing and sweating at the top. She paused, hoping to catch her breath, and set off for the open door of the library. The raised voices bounced off all the walls before she even reached it and Anna could make out the anger in John's voice.

"I won't ask again, what do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"I don't owe you anything, Vera. We're divorced and you wasted the money you wrangled from me then."

"And what about your trollop?"

"I won't have you refer to my wife that way." Anna entered the room and both parties froze mid-argument. "Anna, are you alright?"

"I heard raised voices." Anna crossed the room to where John stood and faced Vera. "Why are you here?"

"That's not polite."

"You're not welcome. I'm only polite to welcome visitors in my home."

" _Your_ home." Vera made a face, "Presumptuous little thing isn't she?"

"It is her home, Vera, as she's my wife." John moved to put Anna behind him. "How'd you find this place anyway?"

"The old fashioned way, I looked for it." Vera grinned and sat on the edge of the table, running her hand over a jade statue John had there. "There's a man with some loose lips down at your factory in the valley."

"For what purpose?" Anna held up her hands, "I'm sorry but what do you want from us?"

"Money. I want to start a new life and Johnny here'll help me do that."

"I'll do no such thing." John scoffed, "I've got nothing to gain by helping you and, as I made perfectly clear, I owe you nothing."

"You owe me for all those years of boredom and pain." Vera's fingers tightened around the statue and she stood to her full height. "For that terrible marriage and for abandoning me in Germany."

"You mean leaving you to suffer for your own sins?" John shook his head, "I'm not sorry for that and the only thing I could ever be sorry for, in our relationship, was that I ever married you in the first place."

"Give me what I'm owe, John Bates, and I leave."

"You'll leave now." Anna pointed to the door, "The French police are on their way so either you can beat them to the punch or they can escort you out."

Vera did not respond… at least not with words. The statue left her hand in a fit of rage. Anna saw it coming, aimed for her head, and barely had time to react as John stepped in the way.

The heavy jade thunked against his temple and without a sound John crumpled to the floor. Anna dropped to his side, adrenal response giving her strength to overcome the physical limitations of her pregnancy, and checked his vitals. But she had barely enough time to register John's thread pulse or his eyes twitching under his eyelids before pain erupted on her own skull.

Fingers clawed in her hair, dragging Anna to her feet. She beat at the arms, the mother-bear instinct kicking in to give her enough strength to land a satisfying blow in the flesh of the other woman's gut. The expulsion of air loosened Vera's grip and Anna weaved out from under her arms.

Running, already a threat to her internal organs, was all Anna could do. She pelted from the room as quickly as she could manage, hearing Vera's harpy shriek after her. The carpets muffled their footfalls but the gasps and groans as Anna barely dodged Vera's next swipe had her clutching to the bannister.

However, the slick separation between the carpet of the corridor and the strip of marble caught Vera off guard. Her foot caught, upsetting her charge, and Anna only had to twist to the side to escape the clutch of her fingers. The same rush that had Anna running for her life reflected in the fear of Vera's eyes as her ankle turned.

The tumbling crash of Vera down the stairs to sprawl at the bottom left Anna to sob for breath at the top. Phyllis and Moseley ran out, Phyllis covering her surprise in Moseley's scream. He pointed to the body but Anna waved him down.

"How close are the police?"

"They've just arrived."

"John's hurt here. We need an ambulance."

"For her too." Moseley checked Vera, "I think she's badly hurt."

"I don't care about her. I need to save John." Anna left Moseley and Phyllis to sort it as the sounds of police filled the house.

Getting back to the library Anna lifted John's head to her lap, her tears falling on his face. "Stay with me John. Stay with me. Help's coming."


	20. Goodness Is No Guarantee

Anna snorted herself awake and adjusted in the chair next to John's hospital bed. The crick in her neck did not abate with her rough massage and after a moment she gave up. With a sigh she stood, turning her knuckles in her back as the door opened.

"Sorry to disturb you Mrs. Bates." Doctor Clarkson walked in, checking John's vitals and all the beeping machines that had taken Anna two days to learn to sleep around. "And how's baby this morning?"

"About as he was yesterday. Sitting low and kicking often." Anna gasped and rubbed at her back again. "Giving me horrendous back pain."

"Really?" Doctor Clarkson stopped, turning to Anna, "Since when?"

"About yesterday evening. But I guess I was so tired last night I slept through it."

"Anna," Anna turned to see Elsie at the door, Charles behind her. She waved Charles on, after he said something in a low voice Anna could not hear, and barely acknowledged Doctor Clarkson's presence before wagging her finger in Anna's direction. "You should be taking care of yourself."

"I'm taking care of my husband." Anna winced and put both of her hands on her back.

"You need to be home, resting. You can't sleep here."

"All evidence to the contrary and I need to be here when John wakes up. He'd be here for me."

"John's not carrying a baby."

"He deserves to have his family near him."

"And they are." Elsie put a hand on Anna's arm. "Charles is getting you something to eat, because you look half-starved, and then he'll sit with John while I take you home to rest for a bit."

"I don't need rest Elsie." Anna cried out slightly against another sensation of pain, "I need to be here with him."

"Anna-"

Whatever other admonition Elsie was about to give died when Anna felt a rush of liquid leave her. Grabbing at her maternity shirt, Anna lifted it to see the soaked patch on her trousers. She groaned and shook her head.

"Pregnancy's gone and made me incontinent."

"That's not urine, Mrs. Bates." Doctor Clarkson stepped forward, "That's your water breaking."

"What?" Anna shook her head, "I'm not in labor."

"The back pain you mentioned, those were contractions."

"What?"

"Here," Doctor Clarkson helped Anna back to her chair, "Sit here while Ms.-"

"Mrs. Hughes or Elsie."

"Alright, Elsie here, holds your hand and starts counting your contractions." Doctor Clarkson stood, "I'm going to call a nurse and see if we can't get some help in here to get you to another bed."

"No," Anna shook her head, sweat breaking out there as Doctor Clarkson pointing out the pain only worsened it so she felt it over her whole body. "I'm not leaving my husband."

"Then we'll have to adapt and overcome." Doctor Clarkson went to the door and called for a few things Anna could not hear over the blood rushing in her ears.

"Elsie," She whimpered and Elsie immediately linked their hands, holding tightly. "Elsie I'm scared."

"It's alright dear. It's alright to be scared." Elsie soothed, brushing back Anna's hair and holding her steady as all her muscles contracted again. "The doctors are here, they're more than qualified, and you're strong. You can do this."

"I can't. Not without John." Anna's tears clouded her vision. "I can't raise our child without him."

"Who said you'd have to?"

"He could be dead and we just don't know it yet Elsie." Anna cried out with another contraction and two nurses came over to remove her trousers while pushing her shirt up just under her breasts. "I can't raise this child alone."

"You won't have to." Elsie covered Anna's hand with her other one, forcing Anna to look at her. "I'm here for you, no matter what."

"Thank you." Anna felt another crushing pain and heard the echo of her cry around the room.

"We need to move her to the floor." The two nurses lifted Anna from the chair to a hospital bed mattress they settled in the room.

Anna settled back with one of the nurses behind her while the other forced her legs to bend toward her chest. They checked all over her but Anna was numb to their touches, her entire concentration completely focused on the pain of her child trying to leave her body. Another maneuver of her legs and Anna shrieked.

"Baby's crowning." The nurse between her legs looked up at Anna, "You're lucky. Usually first time pregnancies take much longer than this."

"Yes, I'm feeling excessively lucky." Anna managed before she groaned.

"Don't push with this next one, I need you to pant while baby adjusts." The nurse put a hand on Anna's shoulder, panting with her. "Good, good, now baby's head is clear and push!"

Anna contorted her whole body to contract as many muscles as possible and pushed. The pains eased and she slumped back onto the nurse holding her. The one between her legs held up a squirming mass, clearing the passageways to let a tiny scream fill the air.

"And baby is quite the screamer." The nurse clamped the umbilical cord and tied off quickly before wrapping the baby in a blanket. "Why don't we have Mummy hold baby for a bit while we get settled?"

Anna reached out and soon the squealing, wiggling boy rested in her arms. Within a moment of holding him the boy settled, his little blue eyes opening to stare at his mother. Anna drew a finger down his face while a prick at her stomach drew her attention momentarily away.

"What was that?"

"Just something to keep your uterine muscles contracting so you expel the placenta." The nurse smiled and the one behind her shifted so Anna laid back. "We'll need to do some quick tests on baby and then he'll be right back in your arms. Promise."

"Can I see him first?"

All heads spun around to see John struggling to sit up straight in his bed. Elsie hurried over, adjusting it so the bed rose and John could see the room. His eyes were sunken, the injury on his head still swollen and angry red, and his voice just sounded exhausted but Anna had never seen anything more beautiful than his open eyes.

"Yes." Anna held the baby up for Elsie and Elsie carefully transported the bundle to his father's arms.

Weak as he was, needing Elsie's hands to hold him steady, John's eyes filled with tears staring down at their son. He took a finger and let their son's tiny ones wrap over it. John kissed the boy's head, cuddling him close before handing him back to the nurses.

He grinned as he stared at Anna, "I'm a father."

"We've a son John." Anna nodded her head in agreement, the residual tension in her body coming out in tears and laughter. "We've a son."

* * *

Anna lifted the boy from his pram and carried him over to where John sat under a blanket on the sofa. "I know you want to see Daddy after you finished your nap but I think you need a feed first or you'll just scream at me later."

"That I'd understand." John closed his book and held out his hands for the boy. Anna handed him over, beginning to adjust her top to feed him. "I get angry when I'm hungry."

"Then Jack got it from you." Anna settled on the sofa, sitting on John's feet, and held her hands out for Jack back. "I'm always an angel."

"I remember a lot of late night cravings."

"And I remember keeping my cool about them." Anna held Jack latch and leaned back against the couch. John adjusted his position to sit next to her and Anna went to argue with him. "The doctor said-"

"Don't move too much. This isn't too much." John put his arm around her shoulders, kissing her cheek. "Only a few weeks more and I go back to my cane instead of that wheelchair and those crutches."

"They're life savers."

"I didn't say they weren't." John's tone changed and Anna shifted to face him better. "Are you sure about wanting to attend the trials?"

"I owe it to myself John." Anna looked down at Jack, sucking happily while tugging his tiny fingers at his own ear. She twirled her finger in the dark hair there. "And I owe it to him."

"But, facing Green again… are you ready?"

"I'm more than ready. It'll be a year by the time the trial rolls around and I've not had a nightmare in months."

"Might be because he hasn't let you sleep in months."

"Maybe." Anna grimaced, adjusting Jack. "He also doesn't let up trying to bite me when he eats."

"Carnivore already?"

"I think so." Anna rested her head on John's shoulder. "I'll be alright. Once that's over then we only have Vera to deal with."

"Why do we have to deal with her at all?"

"We need them out of our lives forever John." Anna sighed, "We just have to be strong a little while longer."

"I'd be strong for you." John kissed the top of her head. "I'd do anything for you."

"I know. That's why I love you."

"And I love you."

* * *

Anna stepped off the witness stand and returned to her seat with Elsie. She checked her watch and tapped her foot anxiously on the floor. Elsie turned to her, raising an eyebrow. Dipping her head to Elsie's ear Anna whispered to her.

"Jack needs feeding soon."

"I didn't know you already had him on a schedule."

"He keeps it for himself."

They waited as the jury disappeared behind closed doors. Everyone left the room to stretch their legs and Anna took Jack from John's arms to rush to the women's lav. Jack, especially punctual, finished in time for Anna to be back in chambers as the jury returned.

The judge clacked his gavel against the bench and all eyes were on him. Motioning to the foreman of the jury the judge called for the ruling. Anna's fingers clutched at the bottom of her seat and Elsie covered the hand closest to hers while Mary put a hand on her shoulder. Everyone held baited breaths until the jury pronounced Green guilty.

Anna sighed, hugging Elsie then Mary. They all watched as Green's lawyer tried to placate him but the man, now stunned and inconsolable, was escorted from the room. The moment the door closed Anna felt the weight lift from her shoulders and sighed.

They went back into the corridor to see John holding Jack next to some pictures and pointing at them while chattering to him. Anna kissed Jack's head and then John. "It's over."

"Going away forever is he?"

"Forever." Anna nodded and turned back to Mary, "I don't think I ever thanked you enough for what you and Matthew did."

"It's not less than one should always do for family, Anna." Mary waved at Jack, playing with the giggling baby's fingers. "And I'm only sorry I ever gave him your number. Seems like a lifetime ago but I'm still sorry."

"I'd say you saving me more than makes up for whatever misguided attempt you made three years ago." John mobile rang and he quickly shifted Jack to Anna's hands while he took the call.

"So," Mary winked at Anna, "Drinks?"

"Not while I'm still feeding him from my own body thanks." Anna adjusted Jack in her arms, "Can you imagine where that could lead?"

"Dangerous places for sure." Elsie tipped forward, kissing Jack. "I'm off or Charles'll wonder if I left him to pick out all the flowers himself."

"And when are the approaching nuptials again?" Mary cut in, "Because you know Matthew and I want to come."

"Easter weekend." Elsie ruffled her shoulders like a preening bird. "We thought it'd be a nice representation of new life given our ages."

"I do hope you're not claiming to be old, Elsie." Anna teased, "If you are then who'll babysit for us should Mr. Bates and I want a romantic weekend?"

"Guess you'll have to find someone else." Elsie kissed Anna's cheek, "You were magnificent in there dear. I've been proud of you for many things but that was one of the finest moments I've ever witnessed."

"Thank you Elsie. Drive safe." Anna watched her go until Mary sighed.

"I'm off too. Matthew won't want me hanging around here and getting any ideas about how much these defense barristers and solicitors make over patent lawyers and corporate law."

"I'd have thought it was the opposite."

"Can be but you do know how much scumbags are willing to shell out to avoid jail time." Mary hugged Anna and kissed Jack until he blurbled and giggled under her attentions. "See you at Elsie's wedding."

"Bye Mary." Anna swung around to put Jack back in his pram when John returned, the click of his cane on the marble floors drawing her attention. "What was that all about?"

"The courts of France have deemed Vera too addled of mind to stand trial."

"Really?"

"Apparently her fall caused more brain damage than she did me. They're keeping her in a specialized care facility but they don't know if she'll ever recover full faculties." John looked at his mobile before sliding it into his pocket. "There won't be a trial."

"So that's that then?" Anna leaned on the pram handles, Jack belted safely inside.

"That's that." John sucked the inside of his cheek and Anna put a hand there. He smiled at her, kissing her palm, "What?"

"You're brooding, Mr. Bates."

"It's just… I never wanted this for her. I wanted her out of my life, I never wanted to see her again, and I sure as hell didn't hope for her happiness but I didn't wish her ill. I just wanted her out of my life."

"It's the roughness of life." Anna pushed the pram toward the lift and hit the button. "We want justice and then sometimes we wish we'd applied a bit more mercy in the meting out of punishments."

"That's the truth." John held the doors back for Anna to push the pram forward. "I guess there's no guarantee to anything."

"Except how happy I'm going to be with you." Anna kissed John, only breaking it when Jack squealed about something. She smiled at him before lookg at John, "Let's go home."

"Let's."


	21. Happily Ever After

Anna grinned but kept her eyes closed as she felt the kisses over her neck. "Our son's in the cot over there."

"Then we'll be quiet." John wrapped a hand over her stomach from behind, "We haven't had this much quiet in ages."

"Keep your hand going where it's going and it won't be quiet much longer," Anna tried to warn him off but the moment his fingers flicked against her nerves she was biting her lip to keep herself moaning.

"Am I getting closer Mrs. Bates?"

"Dreadfully." Anna raised her leg slightly, wrapping it over John's hip and feeling his arousal slide over her ass. "I guess you woke up with a little problem Mr. Bates."

"I went to sleep with a problem Mrs. Bates." John sucked at her shoulder while his fingers worked themselves over her slickening folds. "My wife left me for another man in the middle of a lovely kiss."

"Poor baby." Anna's voice caught when one of John's fingers entered her. "How will you ever survive?"

"Well," John added another finger and Anna buried her head in the pillow next to her to cover her cries. "He's only six months old so I think I can take him."

Anna could not respond as John's other hand found her breast and molded it under his fingers. He worked over her, setting all nerves on fire, and soon Anna was crying out into the pillow next to her. With a small shift John entered her from behind and Anna clawed into the sheets as her zinging receptors tried to handle the flood of sensations.

John held tightly to her, pulling almost the edge before thrusting back in slowly. Anna craned her head back and seized his mouth, sinking her tongue there to catch his grunts and muffle her own groans. John responded enthusiastically, moving his hand at her core to rub faster at her. In the haze of pleasure Anna realized he had never stopped touching her.

Sinking the fingers of one hand into the hair at the back of his head, Anna rutted her hips back toward his. She ignored the sounds they made, too caught up in her own body's reactions to care, and shifted her head to whisper in John's ear as he leaned over her shoulder. Her words snapped his control and within a moment Anna came crying out while John pumped a few more times to finish.

They both panted for breath, Anna playing with John's hair as his head rested on her shoulder. He lifted enough to slide from behind her to settled on his side next to Anna. With an arm around her waist John kissed Anna's neck.

"I haven't woken up like that in awhile." Anna teased, smoothing her hand over his arm as John moved to look at her.

"I think having a little boy who believes two in the morning is an appropriate hour for rising tends to dampen that a bit."

"You love him."

"I didn't say I didn't. I just said that maybe we should think about giving him his own room."

"He has his own room."

"Soundproofed walls then?" John grinned and Anna swatted him over to his side of the bed.

"We'd need those, not him."

"Then for us. Point still stands."

"John-" Anna stopped as Jack let out a cry, "There goes your son."

"Why is he only mine when he's fussy?" John shifted off the bed, grabbing his pants and sliding into them before crossing the room to the cot.

"Because he gets his insomnia from you." Anna worked a shirt over her head and found her knickers on the floor. "I'd say you should pay for your genetics."

"I guess that's fair." John peeked at the clock, "I guess we'd better get up anyway. Wedding's in a few hours and you'll need to be down to help Elsie soon as you feed him."

"I know." Anna got out of bed and wobbled a minute. When John sniggered she pointed at him, "This is your fault."

"I'd say it's his fault," John held up Jack, "He's the one that stops us doing it as often as I'd like."

"How often's that?"

"Everyday, twice a day."

"Charmer." Anna dipped to kiss John, "I'm going to shower and bemoan the lack of sleep as I plaster a smile to my face today."

"It's worth the sleep deprivation though, isn't it?" John asked and Anna smiled before kissing him again.

"Always. Can you wash him up and get him dressed in that adorable tartan suit?"

"Yes ma'am." John adjusted Jack, "You're going to have all the girls after you."

"Hey," Anna shook her finger from the bathroom door, "Don't be filling his head with those things yet."

"He can't help it. He's a Bates and we're known lady magnets."

"Okay, lady magnet, please tell me you've got your suit for the wedding." Anna flicked the water on and shed her few clothes to step under the stream.

"Charles and I picked them out together. He's wearing Elsie's tartan and I'm wearing my grandmother's." John peeked his head into the bathroom, "My grandmother was a Keith you know."

"Does that mean you're wearing a kilt, Mr. Bates?"

He winked at her, "Maybe."

"And how does one wear a kilt, Mr. Bates?" Anna called toward the room, washing the shampoo from her hair and working the loofah over herself.

"Depends if he's a true Scotsman."

Anna finished and pulled a towel to dry off, wrapping it over herself and walking out to see Jack in his suit, kicking his legs on the bed. She climbed up next to him, adjusting to feed him as she followed John's progress around the room. "And are you a true Scotsman, John?"

He paused, giving her a mischievous look, "Guess you'll have to find out."

"Guess I will." Anna settled back against the pillows to feed Jack. "Get ready. I'll need you to take Jack while I go help Elsie."

John dressed for the wedding, in the promised kilt, and took Jack from Anna's arms. She dressed in the lavender bridesmaid's dress, working her hair up enough to hurry down to Elsie's room. Kissing her two men she hustled down the hall, meeting Mary at the door. They knocked and smiled as Elsie opened the door in the fuzzy bathrobe.

Anna held up the bag with Elsie's dress in it, "We've come to dress the bride."

"Never in my life did I ever think I'd hear those words."

Squealing like primary school girls the three of them prepared for the wedding. Anna managed Elsie's hair while Mary set to work with the makeup and both helped Elsie into her dress. Mary finished touch-ups on Anna, with Anna returning the favor, and they headed down to the lobby where a car waited for them.

Bundling into the backseat Anna kept control of the train and sighed. "Elsie Hughes, married and happy."

"Not married yet." Elsie smiled to herself, "But very happy."

"I hope so. It's not everyday one gets to marry the man of their dreams." Mary chimed in from the other side.

"No. It's not." Elsie pulled Anna's hand toward her. "I've only been this happy three other times."

"When?"

"First, when I got you. Second, when you got married. Third, when you had Jack."

"Elsie." Anna hugged her, ignoring Mary's shriek about ruining the dress and their makeup if they cried.

The little church in Gretna Green was resplendent in lavender flowers and Elsie's family tartan. The trio entered to see John standing at the ready. He passed Jack to Anna and extended his arm to Elsie. She took it, giggling.

"What's all this?"

"I'm Charles's best man but, more than that, I'm family and I'd like the pleasure of walking you down the aisle if I may."

"I'd be a fool to say no to that Mr. Bates." Elsie kissed Jack, "And he's looking rather fetching."

"He's my date for the evening." Mary snatched him from Anna's arms. "He's walking me down the aisle."

They all gathered in line and Mary started at the sound of the music, walking with Jack securely in her grip. The gathered assembly chuckled and cooed over the couple, putting a smile on Anna's face, and whispered to themselves as Anna walked down the aisle to follow Mary. She turned in place, taking Jack back from Mary, and waited for Elsie and John.

John, even with his cane, stood as proud as ever when Elsie on his arm. She looked every bit the blushing schoolgirl when she caught sight of Charles Carson in his tartan suit to match Jack's. John handed her to Charles and took his place at Charles's side, giving the rings when needed, but watching Anna across the way throughout the ceremony.

They all cheered when Elsie and Charles kissed, tossing flower petals as they went back down the aisle. Anna and Mary followed, John taking Jack back so the two women could help Elsie change from her dress into what she could wear at the reception. Anna gave Jack a quick kiss and John a slightly longer one before climbing back into their same car to reach the hotel.

With difficulty they separated Elsie and Charles, promising they could be alone as long as they wanted once Elsie was ready for the party. Mary clicked her tongue at them, showing her mock disapproval before Anna cut in.

"I don't think women who vanished for two hours at their own rehearsal dinner can throw stones."

"We didn't vanish."

"That's right because we could all hear you in the kitchen." Anna appreciated Mary's obligatory reddening. "If they want to have sex they can."

"I'd like to execute my duties as a bridesmaid before he tears her out of the dress." Mary helped unzip Elsie, "The other dress is cheaper so he can tear all he wants."

They finished quickly and exited the room to greet John and Jack in the hall. He offered Jack to Mary. "Can you take him for a bit?"

"Why?" Mary settled the boy on her hip while he played with the shoulder of her dress.

"I left something up in the room I need Anna's help to find."

"Did you forget his spare nappies?" John cringed and Anna groaned, "We'll be down in time for speeches."

"I hope so. I love your son but I'm not holding him if he decides to use the nappy he's wearing." Mary warned and escorted Elsie to the lifts while Anna and John went back to their room.

The moment the door shut John surged forward and took Anna's mouth. She stopped the kiss a moment later, breathless. "What's this?"

"I didn't forget the nappies. They're already downstairs in the bag." John attacked her neck, moving Anna over toward the bureau and rocking her against it.

"Then what's this?"

John pulled back, Anna noting the dilation in his pupils, and tried to gather his breath. "I saw you standing there, looking so radiant as you held our son in your arms, and I heard the wedding vows and I just thought back to when you promised me you'd be mine forever and…"

Anna took charge this time. She grabbed his mouth and leapt backward to land on the bureau. John's hands immediately went to her hips, sliding over the silky material of her dress to caress her breasts through the material.

She keened in his mouth, holding the back of his neck to keep him steady in their kiss. John hiked her dress up her legs, bunching it about her waist, and moved a hand down to her knickers. He broke the kiss, hissing at what he found.

"Anna!"

"What?" She looped her arms over the back of his neck, "You weren't the only one enjoying the view during the wedding."

John grabbed her around the waist and urged her forward to wrap her legs around him. Struggling slightly John managed to get them into the large armchair they requested in the room. Anna used her knees to push up John's kilt and grinned.

"True Scotsman?"

"Makes it easier." John groaned as Anna gripped his erection in her hands, moving over him to the rhythm of his bucking hips.

"Yes it does." Anna lifted her dress and John moved her knickers to the side so Anna could slide down on him.

They panted together, Anna bobbing up and down while John stroked his hands over her breasts and their tongues fought for dominance in their kiss. When Anna altered her rhythm, rocking back and forth, Her head went back as the change in angle hit the spot she needed inside. He snuck his fingers to her nerves, slipping over them and her wet folds before pinching.

Crying out John's name, Anna broke in John's arms. He waited a minute, her head on his shoulder, before finishing with a few more thrusts. They stayed in the chair, breathing deeply, until Anna pushed herself off him.

"We need to get going."

"Yes we do."

Anna climbed off, arranging her dress and looking for any blaring indicators that she had just been riding her husband to completion before deciding to change her knickers. For the brief moment she had her dress hiked high enough to slip her knickers down John swatted her ass.

"Be careful about the people you tease Mr. Bates." Anna warned, resettling her dress as John straightened his kilt. "You're still commando under there and who knows what I might do to you under a table."

"I'd enjoy it." John kissed her and Anna responded. "We'd better get going or they'll get suspicious."

"If they're not already."

As Anna opened the door to their room she stopped, Mary holding Jack out to her. "He's definitely soiled himself and I had my conditions."

"You did." Anna took Jack back as Mary shook her head. "What?"

"I thought the bride and groom were supposed to be the randy ones on the wedding day."


	22. Epilogue: A World Apart

When I was a child I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11

 _When I was a child my mother took me to church. I liked the music, the pageantry of it all, but I guess somewhere along the road I lost the little faith I had. In the darkest of nights I wondered if I had any at all. I lost my way and for a time I thought I lost my soul._

 _But slowly, as with all things of worth in life, I found myself again. I found love again, which I believed I didn't deserve, and I found true happiness._

 _What man could be more happy than me?_

 _In the morning I wake up to the beautiful face of my angelic wife who, through thick and thin- or perhaps through thin and thin- has stood strong. What she's endured and overcome astounds me to the point where I'm sure I didn't marry a mortal woman. No one would endure what she has and still be as wonderful as she is. But every morning, when I kiss her awake, she grumbles from sleep to smile at me and wish me good morning. Sometimes it's more than just with words… but I'll keep that to myself._

 _Then I hear the sounds of running feet. Sometimes they bang on our door (which we learned to keep locked) and other times they're just running. From what, who knows. It's just the child's way, to learn from the world as fast as their feet can fly. It's faster than I can move but they take that into consideration sometimes… when they're not trying to escape trouble._

 _They speak as children and understand as children, which is not a bad thing. When my oldest, Jack, asks questions I find simple I have to remember, he's never heard the answer before. And why should he? Or when Charles debates with me about the most mundane things in life I realize that maybe I forgot the magic of the little things in life. Or when little Gwen giggles about bubbles at bath time or flower petals blown at her in the summer I think that the thoughts of a child could be simpler and more complex than my own now._

 _I know more but maybe I also know less. That's why they teach me as much everyday as I hope I teach them._

 _But when I became a man I put away childish things but not child-like things. The child-like wonder that spawned the business that keeps our little castle heated and filled with wonder. The child-like wonder that has me gasping in surprise at the discoveries of my sons. The child-like wonder that gives voices to the characters of my daughter's books._

 _The child-like wonder that our family is growing again next year. That these are my children. That this is my wife. That this garden and house are our castle and grounds where I'm king and my wife is the beautiful queen._

 _Every year I take our children to visit my grandmother's grave and I wonder if she thinks on this verse like I do. If she exults in the happiness I've found. If she's as proud now as she always wanted to be of me._

 _Then, all I have to do is look in my wife's eyes and I know the answer: of course she is and she always has been._


End file.
